Fighting for Love & Life
by Lemonhead79
Summary: Anastasia Steele, 24 has just been dealt a big blow by being diagnosed with a potentially fatal illness. How will she react to the news and how will she handle treatment.? But the biggest question that remains is how will this news affect her new relationship with CEO Christian Grey. Ana does die in my story!
1. Chapter 1

_**I wasn't planning on starting a new story while I'm still writing the Sequel to How to Love Someone the Right Way, but it just kind of happened. With this new story the chapters will be longer and I will not be publishing every day like my other story. I hope you like this story, I'm having a great time writing this and pulling inspiration from a good friend of mine that is going through treatment right now.**_

**_Also thank you to SuzQuz Grey for believing in this story and for being an amazing editor!  
_**

_**Happy Reading and please let me think with a review!**_

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I'm 24 years old; I shouldn't be hearing this news. I sit in shock as Dr. Warren goes over my test results of my lumpectomy. I officially have breast cancer, and I'm all alone. What am I going to do?

I don't hear the words coming out of his mouth. The only words I can recognize are cancer, Stage Three, chemotherapy and mastectomy. He told me that it was probably nothing but a benign tumor; I never thought the lump in my right breast would turn out to be cancer. I didn't even bother to tell anyone including my mother; let alone my best friend or boyfriend.

"Anastasia, do you have any questions," Dr. Warren asks folding his hands on the desk in front of him. How do I answer that? I'm scared. I don't want to do die; I have so much life let to life.

"What are my chances of beating this, since it's so advanced?" I close my eyes and hold my breath. I'm not sure if I want to hear his answer.

"We caught it before it has spread to your lymph nodes, but I'm going to be honest with you, this will be a hard road. You need the love and support of your family and friends. You can't do this alone."

Why won't he give me a clear answer?

"I need to know Dr. Warren; do I have a good shot at beating this?"

"Yes, you can, but we are going to have to make an important decision very soon about the course of treatment. I would like to see you next week to discuss your options. Please schedule the appointment with the nurse."

I walk back to my car and just sit there looking down at my phone. I scroll through my photos of the past month and start to cry when I land on the photo of Christian and me smiling after a day on the boat. Oh God, how am I going to tell him? We haven't even been dating a month, and for me to spring this on him, that's not fair to him. The last thing I want is for him to stay with me out of pity or guilt. This just complicates our relationship even further. Why is this happening to me?

As I begin to drive, it's all a blur. The next thing I know is I'm driving to Escala and I have no idea how I got here or why I'm here. I know Christian won't be home for a few hours, so maybe it's good that he's not home.

"Ana, is everything okay?" Gail asks as I storm through the elevator.

"No, but one day I hope it will be." I respond as I nearly lose it. I make it to Christian's room and find my bag in the closet and throw everything in it.

Do I leave him a note, or do I wait for him to come home and tell him in person? I sit on the bed and begin to cry. I walk over to my work bag and grab a sheet of paper and a pen and begin to draft Christian a letter. I look at the blank sheet forever before I start to write. How do I even begin to write a letter like this? My hand is shaking; I don't think I can do this.

Once I'm finished I fold the paper in half and write Christian's name on the front and then lay it on his pillow.

I walk out of the room and look over my shoulder one last time at this room. This is where I lost my virginity, and where Christian first told me he loved me for the first time. Now, I'm ending this in the room where it all started.

Gail is nowhere to be found when I hit the button for the elevator and I'm grateful. I don't know how I can tell her goodbye.

When the elevator dings and the doors open, I'm greeted by Christian who looks panicked.

"Anastasia, where are you going?"

To see his face look concerned, I have to try to keep from breaking down again.

"I'm leaving Christian," I whisper as I try to get into the elevator. I can't tell him all of this in person. I'm a coward so that's why I left him the note.

"You promised you were never going to leave me," he says standing emerging from the elevator.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Whatever I did, I'm sorry. I can't lose you, I love you."

I'm desperate to keep my composure. All I want to do is throw my arms around this perfect man and tell him what is really going on with me, but I can't and I just need to go home and never see him again.

"I think it best that we just end this," I say and I can't even look him in the eye.

"Why?"

"Because I can't be what you need me to be Christian?"

"You are exactly what I need Anastasia. What more to have to do to convince you?"

He doesn't have to do anything because I'm so hopelessly in love with him, and I know that I could never love anyone the way I love this man standing in front of me.

"Nothing."

Then I see a smile form on his face.

"Marry me Anastasia," he pronounces.

This can't be happening. If it were any other day I would say yes in a heartbeat. Hell, I want to say yes. My whole body is screaming for me to accept but I can't.

I start to walk past Christian but he grabs my arm.

"I asked you a question Anastasia."

I know I'm breaking his heart and I don't have the heart to say no.

"I'm sorry, but I can't marry you Christian."

He lets go of my arm and I nearly fall forward into the elevator, but I catch myself. I turn around and look at him for the last time.

"Goodbye Christian," I say and my breath hitches on his name.

"Anastasia, please don't do this." Those are the last words I hear him say while I see the tears streaming down his face as the doors close.

Why was that more difficult than hearing the news that I have cancer?

As I put my bags into my car, I think about the first time I laid eyes on Mr. Christian Grey and that's the first time since this morning that I've smiled.

I've been working with Coping Together as the Director of Marketing & Communication for the past six months and tonight is the night of our annual masquerade gala at the home of the non-profit's founders Carrick and Grace Grey.

I've been here since the early morning making sure that everything is perfect and in place for tonight. As I head into the house to get dressed I'm greeted by Mia, the Grey's youngest child who has quickly become one of my closest friends. So close in fact that we just have moved into a condo together.

"I have a surprise for you Ana," she says leading me upstairs.

That is never a good sign. Mia is so unpredictable, and that's probably why I like her so much.

"Surprise!" She announces and hanging up on the wall is the most elegant silver full-length beaded gown.

"Mia, what have you done?"

"Please don't say no. I went to a lot of work finding just the perfect dress for you."

"I can't accept this."

"Yes you can. Besides it just on loan so it's not a gift. It's courtesy of a local designer. Look I'm wearing one of her dresses too."

Who am I to say no to such a beautiful dress?

"Thank you Mia."

She's overjoyed and maybe a little shocked that I agreed so quickly.

After showering and Mia's glam squad doing my hair and make-up, I slip into the dress and look at myself in the mirror.

_Wow Steele, you do clean up nice._

I've never felt like this before. I feel like a whole new person. The dress fits me perfectly. I hope my feet can hold up tonight, these heels are killer.

"Ana, you look gorgeous," Mia says as I come out of the guest room. Mia is a sight to be seen. She looks unbelievable in her red strapless mermaid dress that is very similar to mine. It looks spectacular against her porcelain skin and raven black hair.

I blush at her very nice compliment.

"You are going to get a lot of bids during the first date auction tonight," she says.

Wait a minute, I didn't volunteer for the auction.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't be mad, but I added you."

"Mia…" I try to get out of this, but Mia cuts me off.

"It's for the kids Ana. Besides its just one dance; you don't have to marry the guy."

"Fine."

Mia hands me a matching mask before we head downstairs where we are greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Grey and their oldest son Elliott.

"Looking good Steele," Elliott says. I've always like Elliott. He was amazing when he helped me move from my tiny studio apartment into the condo. "I wish that I had a date as beautiful as you."

Now I'm really blushing.

"Where is your date, by the way?" Mia says looking around.

"Kate couldn't make it. She just canceled on me because of some breaking news story that she has to cover, but she said she was going to try to make it later."

I've never met Kate, but I know from Mia that she doesn't like her. When I ask her why she says it's just a feeling that she has.

"Well, you can be Ana's and my date?"

"I'm one lucky man," he says leading us out to the gala.

I'm at the gala tonight as a working guest so I manage the press line as our VIP guests begin to arrive. I'm in the middle of the red carpet when there is a commotion at the start.

What is going on?

As I get closer I see the flashbulbs going off like crazy then when I hear the name, it all makes sense.

"Mr. Grey, why no date tonight?"

It's none other than Christian Grey, one of the world's richest men. Just last week he was named America's Most Eligible Bachelor. He is also my roommate's older brother, and the reason why this non-profit was founded.

I've never met Christian in person; I've only spoken to him over the phone a few times as he is largest benefactor. Last year alone he donated $10 million to us. I don't know why I'm so nervous to walk up to him. I've seen his picture everywhere and by far, he is the most beautiful man I've never seen, but I'm here to do a job and not to drool.

"Mr. Grey, I'm Ana Steele. I have a few reporters who would like to ask you a few questions if you will follow me," I say with all the confidence in the world. He is dressed in a stunning black tuxedo and elaborate black mask that hides just his eyes.

"Ms. Steele, so we finally meet," he says as I lead the way. "Might I say you look rather beautiful tonight?"

Did he just say what I think he said? Keep it together Steele; he is your boss's son.

"Thank you sir."

I lead him to the private interview area and I stay close to him so he is not interrupted.

After 10 minutes, I thank the media for coming and thank Mr. Grey for his comments, and he begins to move into the tented area.

I have to stay behind to wrap up the press conference. When I'm through I'm shocked to find Christian Grey waiting there.

"Is there anything you need Mr. Grey?"

"No, I was just watching you in action. You handled yourself very nicely with the press, and I'm impressed."

Wow, I know I can feel my face blush.

"Let me know if you are ever in need of a new job, because I know I could use your expertise at my company."

"I appreciate that Mr. Grey, but I think I've got a great thing going here."

"From what my mother says, you have been the best thing to ever happen to Coping Together."

Now, he's just messing with me.

"Well, I don't know about that."

"I do. Let me know, because I will double or triple your salary."

"Christian Trevelyan Grey, are you trying to steal my most prized employee away from me?" Grace says meeting us at the entrance to the Gala.

"Why mother, you weren't supposed to hear that, but yes. I'm quite impressed with Ms. Steele, and I was just about to tell her about the benefits of working for me."

"Don't worry Grace, I'm not going anywhere," I say as I look over at Christian and offer him an apologetic smile.

"For now," I think I hear Christian mutter before disappearing into the crowd.

"Ana, I know my son can be quite charming, but I will do whatever it takes to keep you on board," she says looking forward.

"I have no intention of going anywhere. I love working with Coping Together."

"I'm very glad to hear that, in your short time with us, you have brought so much besides donations to Coping Together, and I'm forever grateful for you."

"Well, I believe in Coping Together and I know we can take it to a whole new level."

"From your lips to God's ears," she says and with that we both walk inside.

After checking in with all of our major donors, I make my way over to my table. I'm surprised to see that my seat has been changed. That's strange, because I was the one who did the seating chart.

"Ms. Steele, it would appear that you are sitting right here," I hear his voice again from behind me. I turn around and find Christian Grey pointing to my place card positioned right next to him.

"I believe I was seated right here Mr. Grey," I say.

"Well, I made that guest an offer they couldn't refuse so I guess you're stuck with me."

What the hell is going on?

He pulls out my chair so there's no way I can turn him down now.

"Should I thank you for stealing my seat?"

"I think you should thank me."

"And why would that be?"

"I'm saving you from sitting next to Joseph Atkins."

"Mr. Atkins just happens to be a major benefactor, not up to your level of course, but he's very important to Coping Together."

"Well, I guess you don't know the real Mr. Atkins. He will be all over you tonight as he has a fondness for young attractive women, and it appears that Mrs. Atkins isn't with him tonight as he's already on his third glass of scotch."

"I can take care of myself."

"Oh I believe you can, but I would just like to keep a closer eye on you, if you don't mind."

This really has to be a dream. Why would Christian Grey be interested in me? Come on, I'm me and well, he's him. He's like a copper-haired God.

Suddenly I get very nervous as he takes his seat next to me. His hand grazes my arm as he helps pushes my chair in and the feeling is almost electric causing goose bumps to form all over my body.

I can barely eat as I can feel the stare of Christian Grey on me during dinner and dessert. We exchange a few glances, but I'm silent for nearly an hour.

"Ana is something wrong? You're very quiet," Grace asks as we are plated our dessert.

"Just thinking about what I need to do next, that's all."

"Ana, you work too hard. You need to relax and have fun."

"I agree," Christian says next to me, and I can feel his hot breath on my skin. Why does this man have such an effect on me?

My mind begins to wander. Could _the_ Christian Grey be interested in someone like me?

"Ana?"

"Yes," I look up to see who called my name, and see Mia trying to get my attention.

"Are you ready for the auction?"

"I guess so."

I stand up and the rest of the men at our table also rise.

"So my sister convinced you to take part in this very barbaric tradition?" Christian asks trying to stifle a laugh.

"It would appear so."

"Well, the gentleman that wins your honor will be quite pleased."

I don't understand him.

As Mia and I walk on stage I anxiously await my turn.

"Now, I would like to welcome the very attractive Ana to come forward," the MC announces and Mia practically pushes me to the front.

"Miss Ana is one of tonight's organizers, so please increase your bids as your way to thank her. Miss Ana is not only stunning, but she is very intelligent and she speaks five languages fluently. She is also very flexible thanks to her years as a gymnast and yoga training. Now, would we say about starting the bidding at $10,000?"

"$10,000," comes from Mr. Joseph Atkins. Oh God, maybe Christian was right.

"$15,000," says Elliott who is seated next to Christian and smiles at me.

"$25,000," Christian bids.

I can't believe it.

$50,000," Mr. Atkins says.

Someone please save me.

"$75,000," Elliott says looking right into Christian's face.

"$100,000," Christian says.

"$150,000," Elliot counterbids. Is this really happening?

$500,000," Christian says.

You've got to be kidding me.

"Sold to Mr. Christian Grey."

As I walk off the stage I can't feel my legs, they are like Jell-O.

There is no way I can walk back to our table; I can't face Christian right now.

"It looks like you need a drink?" I look back and see Elliott grinning from ear to ear.

"Do you want to tell me what that little show was all about?" I say slamming down the champagne.

"You know that's not water?"

"Will you hand me another one?"

"Slow down Tiger."

"Spill Elliott."

"At first I was just trying to save you from good old Joe and his wandering hands, but apparently my little brother didn't like me bidding on you so I decided to make him pay."

"Why would you do that?" I say sipping my champagne this time.

"You really can't tell can you?"

"Tell what?"

"Oh I think I will just let you find that out on your own."

"Elliott," I call out but he's already gone.

I go and check in with Meredith who is running the silent auction. I need to find something to keep my mind off what Elliott has said, or rather not said.

"Ana, I have been looking all over for you. They are about to start the first dance and you need to be out there." Mia exclaims and pulls me back into the main tent.

"I thought you left me Ms. Steele," Christian says when we find him waiting for me, I think.

"I had to get some work done. I wasn't going anywhere," I say and I'm not sure if I'm telling the complete truth.

"Well, may I have this dance?" He asks extending his hand. Tentatively I put my hand into his and I feel that twinge of electricity again. I can tell that he was affected too.

He leads me onto the dance floor and places his other hand on the small of my back.

I don't even remember hearing the music, or if there were any other people on the dance floor. All I can see right now is him and I, and it's perfect.

As the song goes on, I can feel Christian pulling me closer to him. I inhale his scent and I'm in heaven right now. I would be a millionaire if I could bottle this scent.

"May I get another dance," Christian asks as the song finally ends and it was all too short.

I'm desperate to staying his arms forever, but I need to get back to work.

"I need to get back to my job," I say pulling away.

"Did you hear my mother? She said you need to enjoy tonight."

I guess just one more dance wouldn't hurt.

One more dance turned into the two of us spending the rest of the night on the dance floor.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your amazing donations. Tonight's event raised $1.9 million."

"Congratulations, Ms. Steele," Christian whispers in my ear.

I feel the emotion of tonight come to a head. I can't believe we shattered our goal by nearly half a million dollars.

"I'm serious about my offer to come work with me. Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

"I'm sorry."

"Would you at least do me the honor of coming out to watch the fireworks with me?"

Who am I to say no to an offer like that?

As we walk out of the tent and closer to the water, I'm greeted by a very cool breeze. I wish I brought my coat.

"Let me," Christian says as he places his coat on my shoulders.

"Thank you."

We watch the fireworks in silence until the crowd cheers bringing me back to reality.

We walk back into the house and are greeted by Carrick and Grace.

"Ana, you are amazing. Thank for you everything you did tonight!" Grace says hugging me. "We are very lucky to have you as part of Coping Together, and I hope that you have found a home with us."

"I'm here as long as you want me."

I go upstairs and change my clothes before coming downstairs to head home.

"Ms. Steele, may I offer you a ride home?"

"I came with Mia."

"She just left."

How could she leave without me?

"Thank you for the offer Mr. Grey, but I can't trouble you for a ride."

"It's no trouble. Besides, you live only a few minutes from me."

I can tell I will not win so I accept Mr. Grey's offer.

Christian's personal bodyguard takes my bags as he leads me to the waiting black SUV.

As we drive back to my place, Christian looks at me but says nothing.

"I had a wonderful time with you tonight," he finally says.

"I did too. I think the event was a success."

"Clearly, thanks in large part to you."

Finally, we pull up to the right of my building and I try to open the door, but I can't. When I look back at Christian he's nowhere to be found. In the blink of an eye he has my door open and holds out his hand.

Part of me wants Christian to kiss me, but I don't want to be disappointed if he doesn't.

"Goodnight Ms. Steele," he says as he walks with me and opens the door.

"Thank you." I walk through the door and straight to the elevator. I don't have the heart to turn back.

I set my keys on the table when I walk inside and Mia's not home. I go straight to my room, and realize I'm glad that she's not here.

I look around my room and I remove everything that reminds me of Christian and our brief time together.


	2. Chapter 2

_**I am blown away by how much all of you love this story. Thank you so much for taking your time to read my story. Now, because of all your amazing reviews and PMs, I have decided to post this chapter. But please remember, I will only be posting once or twice per week.**_

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It's been exactly seven days since my diagnosis, and so far, I have only told my mother. She insisted on coming up to Washington to be with me, but I asked that she not. My father is in Alaska on a fishing expedition, and there is no way to contact him until he gets home next week. I'm grateful that Mia is in Paris visiting friends for the next few weeks.

Christian has come by the condo every day since I broke things off, but I refuse to answer the door. I know that Sawyer has been stationed outside for my protection since we began a few days after the Gala. In addition to the unnecessary security, Christian has sent flowers to work and emails. I've had all of his emails go to my spam folder; I couldn't even bear to read any of them.

I know that Grace knows that we are not together because she asked if I was okay. I was able to talk to her without breaking down before locking myself in the bathroom for nearly an hour after she left.

I've been doing a lot of research online since my diagnosis, and I quickly realized that wasn't the right thing to do. I decided to wait until I meet with Dr. Warren to see what options he has to beat cancers ass.

I decide to need to fight this with every fiber of my soul, and I walk into Seattle's Mercy West Hospital with all the confidence in the world.

"How are you handling everything Ana?"

"Just trying to stay positive. That's the only thing I know to do right now."

"Attitude is the key to winning this battle," he says and smiles.

"Now, I see that you came alone, and I want to know if there is anyone here with you today."

"No, my mother is in Georgia and will be coming up after we decide the best form of treatment."

After reviewing your test result and scans, I think it best to try a round or two of chemotherapy before we move to the next phase.

I already know that the next phase would be to surgically remove my breasts.

"When can we start?" I eagerly ask. The sooner we start the better. I have to survive and try everything to possibly keep my breasts.

"Tomorrow too soon?"

I wasn't excepting that answer.

I nod.

For the next hour, Dr. Warren explains to me what will happen during my four-hour chemo treatment that will take place on the eighth floor of the hospital. I was prepared with a list of questions if I would have to endure chemo and/or radiation ranging from my hair loss, side effects to how would this affect my fertility if and when I decided to have children. At this moment it's a moot point, but I was still curious.

Dr. Warren tried to be reassuring when he answered each and every one of my questions, but even he didn't know how my body would react to the chemo.

I need to prepare myself for this. I thought I would have a few days, but instead I have just a few hours.

As I lay in bed, I can't fall asleep. I keep thinking about the implications of tomorrow.

Yesterday, I called in sick and said I didn't know how long I would be out since Dr. Warren couldn't tell me how I would feel after treatment. Luckily, it's Thursday so I thought by Monday I would be ready to go back to work.

I'm almost robotic when I shower and get ready before heading out to the hospital. I decide to call for a car service to take me to and from the hospital, as I was told that I wouldn't be able to drive afterward.

When I emerge outside I get into the town car with Sawyer nowhere in sight. He has always been good about staying out of sight, but I know he's there.

I check in at the front desk on the oncology floor, and I'm taken down the hall to a big white sterile room with a dozen or so black leather recliner chairs. Only two of the chairs are occupied so I opt for a chair on the end. Since I can't bring in my phone or laptop, I choose a few magazines and the current book I'm reading.

The nurse, Joyce, is a really nice older lady, and she really makes me relax especially when she has to insert my IV. I'm deathly afraid of needles, but her words have such a calming effect that I didn't feel a thing.

"Just let me know if you need anything," she says and pats my shoulder. I decide to close my eyes and just try to breath. I think this will be the longest four hours of my life.

**_Christian POV_**

"Sir, she's back at Mercy West," Sawyer's voice booms through the car's speakers. "Did you see where she was headed?"

"No, the car dropped her off at the front door and I lost her."

Why the hell is Anastasia going to the hospital for a second time, and why is she using a car service?

"I'm on my way. I need you to find out where she is?"

"I'm on it sir."

"Mercy West, sir?" Taylor asks pulling a U-turn in front of Grey House before I can answer him.

That man knows me better than almost anyone, well not Anastasia.

For the last seven days, I have been a wreck. I still don't have any answers why she ended things with me. She caught me off guard. Just that morning, we made love, twice, and she told me that she loved me before she left for work.

She's hasn't returned any of my calls or e-mails, and even tried to send back the flowers I sent her. I need to know what the fuck is going on. It would be different if we argued or fought, which we never did so I'm fucking clueless.

We arrive at the hospital and Sawyer greets me at reception.

"I think I found her sir," he says after he punches the eighth floor button in the elevator. He looks hesitant with this news.

When the doors open I'm greeted by a large sign welcoming us to the oncology floor.

"This way," he says and points down the hallway. What are we doing here? Is she meeting with someone? Is her father sick? I thought Ray was still in Alaska.

As we pass a few windows, something catches my eye. I happen to look to my left and that's when I see her.

She's not meeting anyone; she's a patient.

I want to run in there and ask her what's wrong but I can't. I look at her face but she doesn't see me as she's reading a book. She doesn't look scared or worried. She look like she's concentrating as she has a yellow notepad on her lap taking notes.

How could I be so ignorant? This has to be the reason why she broke up with me. I feel the blood start to pump in and out of my heart. She does love me. I'm almost sure of it.

Sawyer has to stop me from running into the room. I just want to hold her, and tell her that everything is going to be okay. That I love her, and I will be by her side as we fight whatever she is battling. We will do this together.

"I don't think you should go in there sir. There has to be a reason why she didn't tell you," Taylor says when he meets up with us.

"I need to go to her Taylor."

"Be patient."

I decide that maybe's Taylor's right so we go to the waiting room adjacent to the room she's in. There is no way she can leave without me knowing.

It's been more than three hours and she's still in there. I've made a few calls but I can't concentrate on anything but my Anastasia. Just before noon I see her emerge. Taylor has to hold me down so I don't rush over to her. She looks so fragile, and my heart is breaking. She looks pale.

**_Ana POV_**

All I feel right now is that I want to take a nap, and I have a little headache. When I walk outside I don't see my car service. They should have been here already. I just want to go home and be in my own bed.

Then I see a black SUV pull up, and Sawyer gets out and opens the door.

"Ms. Steele, can I give you a ride anywhere?"

It doesn't take long for me to figure out that Christian knows what's going on.

"Thank you, Luke," I say and he nods to motion for someone behind me.

I turn around and see his beautiful face only a few feet away.

I start to cry, and instead of running away, I run toward Christian and wrap my arms around him.

"I'm so sorry."

"Why didn't you tell me," he asks stroking my hair.

"I couldn't. I didn't want you to stay with me out of pity."

He pulls back taking my tear streaked face his hands, and I feel like he's looking deep into my soul.

"Anastasia, I love you. I even asked you to marry me last week."

"You just didn't want me to leave you. That's why you did it."

"I did it because I love you, and yes in part because I couldn't bear for you to leave, but I want you to marry me."

"Christian."

"Let me take care of you. You can't do this on your own. Please let me help you."

He sounds truly genuine and I want to take his offer, but I'm still hesitant.

"Okay." I finally say.

He kisses me very gently, and I deepen the kiss with everything I have. I need and crave his touch.

He helps me into the car and we drive back to Escala. I don't know when but I must have fallen asleep, because when I wake up its dark out and I'm in what used to be the bed I shared with Christian.

I'm all alone.

I'm sweating, and I think I'm going to be sick. I barely make it to the bathroom before throwing up. I knew that this was bound to happen, but this is just so violent. I'm having such a hard time catching my breath.

"Ana?" I hear Christian call when he comes into the bathroom.

"I don't want you to see me like this," I say waving my arm at him.

"No way," he says and comes over and rubs my back.

It's a long time before finally I stop throwing up. I lean back against the wall and I feel horrible.

Christian's sitting on the floor across from me and hands me a glass of water.

"Thank you."

I feel so dirty right now and I need to brush my teeth.

With Christian's help, I'm able to stand up and walk over to the sink to brush my teeth.

"And you still find it okay to use my toothbrush without asking," he jokes. I remember the morning after I spent the night for the first time when I lost my virginity. I used his toothbrush that morning, and he got a little cranky.

"I do," I say looking up in the mirror when I answer.

"Well, okay then." He says smiling at me.

When I'm done I turn around and lean back on the counter.

"I'm sorry."

"You need to stop apologizing; you're here because I want you to be. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health."

I can feel my emotions start to build up again.

"Just tell me what you want."

So much, but first I need to take a bath.

"I would like to take a bath if you don't mind."

"Could I join you?"

"That would be nice."

He fills his claw foot bathtub, and pours in my favorite jasmine bubble bath. He helps to slip off my t-shirt as my chest is so sore from the heaving, and then I remove my panties. I step into the scalding water but I don't complain. I'm used it now, and it helps with my aching muscles. I never realized just how tiring throwing up makes you. After I get comfortable Christian slips in behind me pulling me close to his chest, and kisses my neck.

"Better."

"Much. What makes it better is having you here with me."

And it's the truth; I've hungered for these strong arms to embrace me and to tell me everything is going to be all right.

"Can I ask you something?"

I already know the questions before he even asks me.

"I found out that day, and that's why I felt the need to end things between us. You did nothing wrong, I promise."

After everything Christian has told me about his past, his birth mother, and even his relationship with Mrs. Robinson, I thought we could have gotten through anything; I was foolish to reject that notion.

"Promise me something. From now on, please promise you will betel me the truth no matter what it is Anastasia?"

"I promise."

We also both agree not to talk about our week apart. I know just how tough it was on me, and I can only imagine what Christian went through. It won't help anything to dwell on the past, so we are going to only focus on the future.

The word future, it has so many meanings. Who knows how long my future will be?

"You are going to beat this; I am going to make sure of it. I'm going to take care of everything and bring in the best team of doctors for you."

"You know you can't solve everything with your money and charm."

"Wanna bet?"

I can't help but giggle. I hate to admit it, but he's right. A lot of doors are opened to him because of who he is and the size of his wallet.

"That is just about my favorite sound in the entire world."

As much as I would love for him to ravage me right now, all I want to do is crawl back into bed and for him to wrap his arms around me.

"Do you think your stomach can handle any food? I don't want you going to bed on an empty stomach."

Just the word food makes my stomach turn.

"What about a bagel and some ginger ale?"

"I will try it, no guarantees."

Christian gets out of the tub first and then wraps me up in a warm fluffy towel, and carries me to the bed.

"I had Taylor go over to your place and get a few things."

Of course he did.

"I just want one of your t-shirts and a pair of your boxers."

"That's really what you want to wear?"

"Yes sir."

"You know what that word does to me Anastasia."

"I know. Hold that thought."

**_Christian POV_**

By the time I get back with the bagel and ginger ale, Ana is sound asleep. She looks so peaceful, so I don't have the heart to wake her up to eat. Instead I set both on the bedside table next to her. I slip into bed behind her and wrap her up. As much as her news has torn me up, I'm happy that Ana is back where she's supposed to be.

While Ana slept this afternoon, I made a few dozen phone calls to the best oncologists around the world and sent them Ana's medical records and scans. I'm glad that she released her medical history. Now I'm just waiting to hear back to see what the next step is. I know from Dr. Warren that we need to wait at least a week or two to see if the tumor shrinks, even a little. I'm hoping that it does because that will be a step in the right direction. Ultimately from what I've heard, the best thing for Ana to do is have a double mastectomy, and then check to see if the cancer has spread to any other parts of her body. I only can pray that the cancer has not spread from her right breast. Honestly, I don't want to wait the week or two before her next scan. I think surgery is her best and maybe only real good option at this point.

At around three a.m., my phone buzzes. It's Dr. Becker from London. I slither out of bed and go into my office to take the call.

Three hours later I come back to bed, after speaking with three of the world's leading oncologists. They have all agreed that Ana needs to be rescanned in three to five days to see if we have made any progress. Dr. Becker is actually going to fly in for the scan, and to discuss the next option with Dr. Warren. The only thing that worries me is that all three doctors agreed that this is a fast growing tumor, and we need to be serious in our attack of it before it spreads.

The sun is just beginning to rise, and only after maybe 90 minutes of sleep I haven't felt this refreshed in more than a week.

I call Ros and tell her that I will be working from home today so just to handle everything at the office, and I will check in later.

Ana is still asleep when I come back into our room. I get into bed and pull her toward me.

"My head hurts so badly," she mumbles as she begins to stir.

"Let me get you something for that."

**_Ana POV_**

I'm grateful that I slept the whole night. I wake up to a splitting headache; it almost brings me to tears. I would almost prefer violently throwing up instead of the pain in my head. It feels like my head is going to explode.

"My head hurts so badly,"

"Let me get you something for that."

Within a few seconds Christian is back and I just want this pain to go away.

"Can I get anything else for you?"

"The light hurts me eyes," I say from under the comforter.

"I will keep the light out. Are you hungry?"

I shake my head from under the blanket.

"Do you want me to stay with you or do you want to be alone?"

"Stay," I whisper just loud enough for him to hear me.

I'm so tired, and my head only feels better when my eyes are closed. I can feel Christian rubbing my back and I try to relax.

"Dr. Warren said he could prescribe me medical marijuana, and now I see why."

"Do you want it? It would probably help with the nausea and headache."

"How would you know? Have you ever smoked pot?"

"When I was younger I did."

"Do you mean before Mrs. Robinson?"

"Yes."

"At this point, I would try anything."

"Let me go and call Dr. Warren, and I will send Taylor out to pick it up."

Gotta love our great state of Washington.

I must have fallen asleep as I'm awoken to the delicious smell of something sweet. I pull myself out of bed and walk toward the smell.

"Ana, it's so nice to see you," Gail says pulling what looks like brownies out of the oven.

I start laughing realizing what Christian has done.

"Gail, would those brownies by chance have pot in them?"

"Why yes they do? Hungry?"

"Surprisingly yes I am."

I sit on a bar stool and Gail cuts me a square and hands me a glass of milk.

"Well, here goes."

These are by far the most amazing brownies I've ever tasted. This is the first time that I've ever done drugs, even though technically it's legally in our state.

I ask Gail to join me, but she politely declines.

"Are those brownies I smell?" Elliott asks coming into the great room. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees me.

"Ana, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Surprise."

He comes over and hugs me.

"I knew it was only a matter of time before you saw the error of your ways."

"I'm so glad."

"Brownies, ooh don't mind if I do."

I don't even have the time to stop him before he downs a large brownie.

I start to laugh when Christian emerges.

"Did he just eat one?" He asks me.

"I didn't have time to stop him."

"What it's not like there's pot in them?"

Christian and I look at each other and being to laugh uncontrollably.

"Umm…they actually do." I finally have to admit to him.

"Why," he says looking at both of us.

"Well, it seems that I have cancer."

"You're joking."

"I wish I was."

Elliott comes over and hugs me.

"Sweetie, I'm so sorry."

"Thank you."

"Wait a minute," he says pulling back. "Is that why you dumped my brother?"

"Lelliott."

"No, Christian its okay. Yes Elliott, that's why."

"Okay, well now that we've gotten that out of the way, how about we get high together."

There is no one else whom I would like to get high with. This should be interesting.


	3. Chapter 3

**_I am blown away by all of your amazing reviews and PMs. I am having a great time writing this story. I hope you will continue with me on this journey. Happy Reading!_**

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**_Christian POV_**

Between the two of them, they have devoured an entire dish of brownies in just under two hours. Elliott has even offered Gail $100 to make more, too bad she already used up all the marijuana in the first batch. I can't believe I'm sending out my security to score more drugs, but I will do anything to see Ana like this. She has been laughing non-stop since the brownies took effect, which was quite quickly actually.

Ana says that she isn't in any pain, and she hasn't thrown up all day. She has color back in her face and is acting like she doesn't have a care in the world. It's like the way it's supposed to be.

They both begged me to get high with them, but someone needed to keep a level head in this house.

By lunchtime, I think I've had my fair share of these two so I retreat into my office.

Finally around dinnertime, I think they have finally come back down to planet earth as their volume level has significantly dropped.

Gail calls me to dinner so I join Ana and Elliott for spaghetti and meatballs. I look over to find Gail with her back to me and she's doing something.

"Gail, what you are doing?"

"Nothing," she says not bothering to look back at me. Then Ana and Elliott look at each other and start laughing.

"Really? Wasn't the first batch enough for you two?"

"Nope," they answer in unison.

I told Elliott that he's going to spend the night because I don't want him driving home, and I don't trust him to be alone while he's this high.

In all the years I've known my brother I have never seen him like this before.

By 10 p.m. I've had enough. I kiss Ana goodnight and tell my brother to behave himself.

"Christian, don't go," Ana says. "Just try one; you will feel so much better, I promise."

"Maybe another time."

"You know there was a time where my brother was once cool."

"Fuck off Lelliott."

**_Ana POV_**

I don't remember a time when I've laughed this hard. I thought I peed my pants a few times, but thank God I didn't. That would be quite embarrassing. I've had a great time with Elliott today, I just wished that Christian would have joined us. It would have been much more fun if he did. Hell, even Gail ate a bite-sized brownie.

About an hour after Christian pouts and goes to bed I go find him.

He's still awake working on his laptop.

"Do you hate me?" I ask him stripping off my shirt.

"I could never hate you, but I will if you stop what you're doing."

Oh, he likes that. I'm so horny right now. It must be the pot that's helping, because just a few hours ago, I felt lousy.

"What do you want to do with me Mr. Grey," I ask pulling my pants and panties down.

"I can think of a few things; now bring me that sweet little ass of yours."

I turn around and shake it and then I look over my shoulder.

"This ass."

In a blink of an eye, Christian is up and off the bed and pushes me against the wall.

"Fuck," Christian says against my neck as I try to pull down his boxer briefs.

That's what I'm saying.

I wrap my legs around his waist.

"Are you sure about this?" He says before crushing his lips to mine. I know that he thinks I may still be a little high, but I know exactly what I'm doing and what I want.

"Make love to me Christian."

"Not like this," he says as he carries me over to the bed, and gently lays me down.

"I love you so much. One day you will marry me."

I hope one day I will.

He trails his hand all the way down my body making me want him even more. I lift my pelvis to meet his hand.

"No, you need to keep still."

That is not going to be easy with this beautiful man naked on top of me.

He crawls up my body and spreads my legs with his knees.

"I'm going to worship every inch of your body. I hope you're ready," he says kissing me.

He takes my right breast in his mouth, and begins to suck on my nipple as he caresses my breast.

"Ouch," I say and the tears begin to roll down my cheeks.

"Ana, I'm sorry," he says getting off of me.

I grab my breast and hold it close.

"Talk to me. Do I need to call Dr. Warren?"

I shake my head, and as I do I feel the cancerous tumor. It brings me back to last week when I first discovered it.

I was lying in this very bed while Christian was working in his office. I was reading an article in my favorite magazine about how to perform self-breast exams. I started with my left breast doing exactly what the diagram instructed, and then I moved over to my right breast. I was almost done when I felt something near my arm pit. I pressed it a little further, and I defiantly felt something hard. I moved around it and I knew right away something wasn't right. I tried not to panic but I couldn't help it.

I run into the bathroom to see if I can see anything in the mirror but I can't. I run to my work bag and grab my laptop and power it up. I do the worst thing possible and search Web MD. That's when I officially start to panic. This can't be happening. I do a Google search for doctors and come across Dr. Warren. I know that the moment I wake up I need to schedule an appointment.

By this time, I hear Christian coming back to bed so I quickly roll over and pretend that I'm asleep. I can't let him know that not only am I awake, but I've been crying.

The next morning, he's gone by the time I wake. I think I may have slept two hours, I had nightmares all night, and I don't know what to do. I know I can't tell Christian. It's probably nothing and there is no point in getting anyone upset or worried.

When I call Dr. Warren's office, I feel a little relieved when I'm told that he has an opening at nine. I call into work saying that I will be late.

Dr. Warren enters the office and I explain to him what I found in my breast. He has me lie down and exams my breasts.

"I do feel something, does it hurt?"

"Only when you push on it."

"It's probably nothing considering your age and medical history, but I would still like to perform an ultrasound to see if this is a cyst or something else."

After a few minutes, I'm shown to a room down the hall and introduced to Kristy who is the ultrasound technician. Dr. Warren is nowhere to be found.

"Now this is going to be a little cold," she says squirting a little jelly on my breasts.

"Why are you doing this on both breasts?"

"Just standard procedure."

Kristy says nothing during the exam which makes me more anxious.

I can't even see the screen so I don't know what she's even looking at.

About 10 minutes later, she hands me a warm towel to wipe myself off.

"So what's the answer?"

"Oh, I can't tell you anything, I'm just the technician. Dr. Warren will review the scans in his office."

I sit in the waiting for nearly an hour before I'm called back into his office.

"Thank you for waiting Ms. Steele. Normally I don't have patients wait, but I could tell how anxious you are so I didn't want to you to have to wait."

I feel the sweat building on my hands, and I can't keep my knees from bouncing up and down.

"Unfortunately, the ultrasound revealed that that the mass isn't a cyst like I was hoping it was."

"What does that mean? Do I have cancer?"

"I don't know yet, I would like to schedule a biopsy on the lump to see to determine if it is benign."

I can tell he's choosing his words quite carefully, and doesn't mention the c-word. I'm a big girl I can take it.

"I need to know doctor, do you think it's benign?"

"Ms. Steele, I can't answer that without performing the test."

He's not giving me anything.

"Now this is a little out of ordinary. Typically we don't run all these tests in one day, but I am a little worried about the size of this lump so I want to get answers as soon as possible. If it's all right with you, I want to perform a vacuum-assisted biopsy."

I don't like the sound of that.

"Is there anyone you can call?"

I think of Christian, but again I don't need to worry him.

"No, it's just me."

Dr. Warren explains the relatively short procedure that involves the use of a needle that will use suction to remove actual tissue fragments from the lump. He said that he would numb the area and there will a small little mark where the needle is inserted.

I'm shown yet another room after filling out a massive amount of paperwork.

Dr. Warren comes back in and explains a second time everything he is doing. When he inserts the first needle I feel a small twinge of pain before I see a large needle plunged into my breast. The nurse holds an ultrasound wand so he can find the lump. He points to the screen and I see the lump. To me it looks enormous.

"We are going to take a few samples just to be safe," he says before he withdraws the needle.

I'm grateful for the local atheistic, because I feel nothing.

The nurse places a small square bandage on my breast, and I hold it in place for a few minutes.

Dr. Warren comes back into view and places his hand on my shoulder. Finally I can relax.

"The test results will take a week. I will try to speed it up, but there are no guarantees. Promise me if you need anything or have any questions, you will not hesitate to call me." He hands me a business card. "I have listed my cell phone on the back so if it's after hours, call me at this number."

"Thank you so much."

That night I tell Christian I wanted to spend the night at my place because Mia was getting ready to leave for Europe. I hated lying to Christian, but I couldn't face him after everything that had happened today.

It's been three days since my first chemo treatment. I wake up and Christian is still sleeping. Ever since my freak out a few days ago, he has done everything he can think of to make me feel comfortable. Unfortunately, that means not touching me in a sexual way. I just can't handle that right now.

This afternoon we are meeting with two of the world's best oncologists. Of course Christian has consulted with them, and requested that meet me. We are going to see how I've reacted to the first round of chemo. Hopefully we will hear that it has shrunk, and I won't require any surgery.

I glance over at my phone and realize it's five in the morning. I figure if I'm awake, I might as well get up.

After I start my shower, I head over to the vanity to pull my hair into a pony tail. That's when I notice a few strands of hair on my t-shirt. I begin to carefully run my fingers through my hair and notice that I'm able to pull my hair out. I feel all around my head and feel a bald spot on the back so I run back to my bed and find a large clump of hair on the pillow.

I pull the hair through my fingers and I start to cry.

"Anastasia, what's wrong?" Christian asks rolling over. He instantly sees exactly why I'm crying.

"My hair," I say holding it out in front of him.

I knew that this was going to happen, but I guess I wasn't ready for it. I thought maybe it wouldn't happen.

Christian sits up, and I sit down on the bed just holding my hair.

I know he's hesitant to touch me so I have to let him know it's okay. I lean back into his chest and he wraps his arms around me.

"Tell me how I can help you, and I will do it."

I get up and walk back into the bathroom and Christian follows me. I look through this drawers until I find what I'm looking for and when I do I hand it to Christian.

"No way Anastasia. I'm not going to shave your head," he says taking the clippers and putting them back into the drawer.

"You told me that you want to help. This is how you can help."

"Maybe that's all the hair you are going to lose."

I roll my eyes at him, and his demeanor changes.

"You know what that does to me Anastasia."

"Down boy," I say looking down at his large erection and giggle.

"See what you do to me?"

"Maybe we can take care of your situation if you do this for me."

"I can't."

Fine, I guess I will just have to do it myself. I walk over and pull the clippers out of the drawer. I turn them on and shave off the side of my hair.

Wow, this feels very liberating. I think Christian is in shock.

I shave off as much as I can, but I can't reach the back.

"A little help?" I ask handing him the clippers.

"I can't believe that I'm doing this." He says walking behind me and kissing the back of my head.

When I look back in the mirror once Christian is done. I can't believe what I'm seeing.

I rub my head and it feels so strange.

"I've never seen you so beautiful," Christian says looking at me through the mirror.

Why does he do that?

"Thank you."

"Don't dismiss me like that Anastasia. You really are beautiful."

I strip down and hop in the shower.

The hot water feels so good. I see Christian leaning against the counter just watching me.

I feel like I want to play with him a little.

I start by lathering my hands up with the jasmine bath wash, and I start to rub it down my body beginning with my breasts. Of course I'm being mindful of the sensitive spot.

"Fuck," Christian breaths.

"I think I need a hand. Would you like to join me?"

Christian's shorts are off and in a flash. He's in the shower and slams the door before I even know what's going on. I kiss him with everything I have as I push him against the glass wall. I need him to touch me. I'm ready for him to touch me. I'm desperate for him.

"I love you," I say as I get down on my knees and take Christian into my mouth. I reach around to grab his ass and I start to fuck him with my mouth. I start by teasing his tip with my tongue before I slide him all the way into my mouth until I nearly gag. I start to move my head in and out, and what really gets me going is when he puts his hands on the side of my head to help guide me. The sensation of his fingers on my naked scalp is unbelievable. Christian begins to rock his hips against me and I suck him as I build up a strong rhythm. I am so turned on right now. The ache is radiating throughout my entire core. My only release will only come from my own hand. I reach down and spread my wet folds and I start to rub myself. This is the first time I've ever done this, but Christian has taught me well on how to pleasure myself. My body is tingling and I know Christian knows what I'm doing because when I look up at him he smiles.

"Keep going, I want to see you make yourself come," he says. That's nearly all the encouragement I need to continue.

I build on my speed fucking his large cock with my mouth while I slip a finger inside of me and start to really feel it.

"Mmm," I hum and nearly combusts right then.

"Fuck Ana, keep doing that," he moans.

I guide a second finger inside me and start to rock my hips. My body starts to quicken and all I want is for Christian to take me right here and now. I really don't want to come like this.

"Stop," Christian says and pulls me up.

"I want to fuck you," he pants.

He lifts me up by my ass and thrusts into me.

This is so much better.

"You feel so good," he says.

"Harder," I scream at him and he complies.

I dig my nails into his back and squeeze him closer to my body.

"I'm going to come Anastasia," he announces. I clench down on him even harder and we both explode.

"Fuck."

"I love you."

"You are my life," he says and kisses me before he continues to wash my body.

"Marry me."

**_Christian POV_**

I stand there with Ana in my arms waiting for an answer. I know that this isn't the most romantic way to propose to her again, but it felt right to ask her again.

"Christian," she says and I put my finger to her lips to stop her.

"I know. You don't to say it."

We finish the shower and got get dressed in silence.

We meet with the team of doctors at Dr. Warren's office. Today will determine the next course of treatment for Anastasia.

I can tell that she is really nervous just by the way she holds my hand.

Before we walk into the office, I stop and look at Anastasia.

"Whatever happens today, I'm here and not going anywhere. You have to know that. I love you and we are going to fight this."

"Thank you," she says and kisses my cheek.

**_Ana POV_**

I'm grateful that Christian is here by my side. I feel stupid for not telling him when I first found the lump. He loves me and he has shown me in so many ways, including asking me to marry him again this morning. Granted, it has after he gave me the most earth shattering orgasm, but I'm not sure if we're ready for that step. I need to get my life under control before I can even think about becoming someone's wife.

We meet with Dr. Warren, Dr. Becker and Dr. Shamir, and after 45 minutes we move into the ultrasound room to determine the current status of the tumor.

Christian holds my hand as the technician examines my breast. I'm waiting for someone to say something, but the room is silent. I know that's not a good sign.

I watch the three doctors walk to the back of the room. I look up at Christian and he doesn't know what to do either.

After a few minutes they come back over to me.

"Ms. Steele, it appears that the chemotherapy hasn't worked like we had hoped it would. With that said, the three of us agree that the next form of treatment would be surgery."

Hearing that word sends my world spiraling out of control.

"So you would just go in and remove the tumor?" Christian asks.

"We could do that, but I think what would be more successful if we did a double mastectomy," Dr. Warren says. "Ms. Steele makes an excellent candidate for reconstruction once we determine she is cancer-free."

"How long will that take?" I ask.

"Our goal is that removing both of your breasts that will take care of the cancer, but after the surgery we will have to do a series of tests to make sure that it has not spread," Dr. Warren says. "Once we know it hasn't spread, we could perform the reconstruction if you should so choose."

Of course I want to have reconstruction.

"When do you think I should have this surgery?"

"We all agree that sooner the better."

When we arrive back to Dr. Warren's office, we arrange for surgery in two days.

As we drive home I reach up to feel my breasts. I will have a little more than 36 hours with my breasts before there are hacked off. I will not cry; I will be strong; I will fight this. I chose to live.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts on my story! Today is my 10th Wedding Anniversary so I'm a little excited!_**

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**_Ana POV_**

Christian convinces me to call my parents to let them know about my surgery. He was so amazing to offer to send his company jet to pick up my mother in Georgia, however I do have the sneaking suspicion that she won't ever step foot on that plane. She will make up some kind of excuse why she can't come and then blame me for it. I'm not going to be optimistic that she will make it.

I was finally able to reach my father, and he was quite emotional. He said that he will drive up the morning of the surgery, and will stay in Seattle for as long as I need him. Tonight we are going to have Grace and Carrick over for dinner. It was so hard telling Grace about my diagnosis a few days ago. But Grace being the person she is, was so amazing, and she said whatever I needed just to ask her because they feel like I'm already part of their family.

After I broke up with Christian, Grace actually reached out to me. It was so hard not to tell her about my diagnosis but at that time, I wasn't ready to tell anyone let alone my boss and the mother of my then ex-boyfriend.

I don't know how she is going to handle this latest development.

When Grace and Carrick arrived, I think they were both shocked to see me wearing a beautiful floral scarf that Christian bought for me today.

"Do you like my new accessory?" I say trying to break the obvious tension in the room

"You look beautiful," Carrick says hugging me and then kissing my cheek. I almost lose it after he hugs me as I can feel he's about to start crying.

Grace doesn't say anything but hugs me and strokes my back. That's when I start to cry. In the six months I've known Grace, she has felt like more of a mother to me than my own biological mother. I'm grateful to have her in my life.

She pulls back and declares that we both need a large glass of wine, and I couldn't agree more with her statement.

My original plan was to wait until after dinner to tell them about my surgery, but I have a feeling we won't be able to wait that long.

We feast upon the beautiful dinner that Gail has prepared for us, but I really don't have an appetite. But I know if I don't eat I will hear about it from Christian, so I eat as much as my body will allow.

"Is it okay for me to ask how your appointment went today," Grace asks looking at me almost apologetic.

Christian reaches over and grabs my hand.

"We were hoping for better news, but it looks like surgery is my best option. So we scheduled it for Thursday."

"So soon," Carrick asks.

"The doctors feel it best to take a proactive approach."

"I think that's best," Grace says. "Is there anything we can do?"

"You have already done so much."

**_Grace POV_**

In all my years as a physician this has been the toughest to watch. Not be able to do something to help breaks my heart. I wish I could do something to help Ana right now, but I can't. The only thing I can do is pray that she will be able to get through this. She is in the best hands possible with Dr. Warren and the other doctors that my son has brought in to save the woman he loves.

Since I first interviewed Ana, I knew that this young woman would change the world. So far she has done so much for not only Coping Together but for my son. I never thought I would ever see him this happy and in love. Hell up until six weeks ago, Carrick and I were convinced that he was gay. We were very wrong. Now, here he is fighting to keep the woman he loves alive. It breaks my heart to see him suffer like this. As a mother, you never want to see you children in pain, and Christian has dealt with so much in his short life. If I could take all that away I would.

I remember when he reached out to me after Ana broke up with him. I have never seen him like that. I thought he was showing the early stages of depression, and I didn't know what I could do. So I had to seek out Ana and see how she was doing. I knew something was wrong but she wouldn't open up to me. It was obvious that she was still in love with my son, but she was fighting against it. I'm glad that he was able to seek Ana out, and fight for the woman that he's madly in love with. I know he will stand by her through this difficult journey.

After dinner, Carrick follows Christian outside while Ana and I are left to chat in the living room.

"Now that they are gone, how are you really handling this news? You don't have to hide anything from Christian, but it's just you and I talking now, and remember whatever you tell me stays between us."

**_Ana POV_**

I know I can trust Grace, but I don't even know how to sum up everything I'm feeling.

"I thought I prepared myself for every outcome of today's meeting, but to hear the words double mastectomy is hard for anyone to take."

"I can only imagine what you're going through," she says.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask nervously.

"Of course Ana anything."

"What do you think it will be like once my breasts are removed?"

"I wish I could give you an answer, but I don't know."

"I know Christian is your son, but do you think he will still find me attractive after my breasts are gone?"

This is something I know I can't talk to Christian about, and I need to discuss it with someone. My mom won't be helpful, and I can't ask Mia. She doesn't even know that I have cancer. I was going to wait until she comes home next week. I don't want to tell her something like that over the phone,

"Ana, I see the way my son looks at you, _he loves you_. You have nothing to worry about. Why do I have a feeling that you aren't really asking about Christian? Are you asking how you are going to feel without breasts?"

I nod.

"They are part of being a woman, and I'm afraid that once they are removed I won't feel the same."

"It's only natural to feel like that, but remember you won't have to wait long before they do the reconstruction. Then you can select what size you want to go with."

Why did I think about that? I've always had small breasts and always dreamed of having larger ones.

"I just hope that this surgery will be the cure."

"And it will be," Grace says so confidently. It's hard not to believe her.

"I know that it's a lot to ask but can you be in the operating room with me? I know that it sounds silly, but I think I will be able to relax more knowing that I have someone who cares about me in there."

"Of course Ana. We are here for you, and whatever you want we will make it happen."

**_Christian POV_**

I can't believe how well Ana is taking this news. She is truly one amazing woman. I don't know how I got so lucky to have to in my life. I speak to my father about Anastasia out on the balcony as my mom and Ana talk inside.

"How are you doing son," my dad asks.

"I'm not sure dad. All I know is that I can't lose her. I love her too much. Why is this happening to her?"

"I know you do, and I wish I could tell you why this happens to good people like Ana. She doesn't deserve this, not that anyone ever does."

"I asked her to marry me. Twice actually," I confess to my father who looks stunned.

"I take it that she said no?"

"Only once. It was right after she broke up with me. The second time she really never gave me an answer, but I know she meant no."

"Maybe it's the way you proposed. Was it romantic?"

I can't tell my father that the second time I proposed was right after we had sex in the shower, but it wasn't romantic.

"No."

"Well, maybe that's your problem."

"You don't think it's too soon."

"Why do you?"

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I can't imagine my life without her."

"Then I think you have your answer. You need find a way to break down that wall, and of course you need a ring."

A ring! That's always part of an actual proposal.

I decide to make a very important phone call while my dad joins my mom and Anastasia.

Finally my parents leave, and for the first time all day, it's just her and I.

"How was your conversation with my mom?"

"Can I trade you moms?"

I laugh at the comment. My mom tends to have that effect on people. I'm lucky that she was the one who found me at the hospital all those years ago.

"So I take it that is went well."

"Your mom put everything into perspective for me, and now I'm feeling a little better."

"Want to share with me her words of wisdom?"

"It's private."

"Is it a woman thing?"

"Fine if you must know she said the silver lining in this shitty situation is that I will finally get the boobs I've never had," she says and blushes.

Personally, I love the size of her breasts, but I don't think that will help if I tell her."

**_Ana POV_**

Since Christian will be taking off the next few days to be with me he said that he needed to finalize some business. He excuses himself to his office, and I go get ready for bed.

After I'm alone, I think about my surgery and everything that can happen. Dr. Warren did talk about all the risks so I know what can happen. If something should go wrong, I want Christian to know that I love him, and that it's okay to move on. I decide is to write him a letter and if I don't survive he will at least have this letter.

This is probably the hardest thing I have ever done, but I know that I will feel better knowing that I left something behind for him. I hope that Christian will never have to read this, but just in case.

_My dearest Christian,_

_It pains me that you are reading this letter because it means that I didn't have the strength to fight this cancer. I wanted to write you this letter to tell you just how much I love you, and that the very short time we have spent together has been the very best time of my life. That is all because of you. I always dreamed about falling in love, and with you it does feel like a dream. You love me unconditionally, and I'm grateful for your undying love and support. I'm sorry that I couldn't fight harder to stay with you. From the first time I laid eyes on you, I knew I loved you even before you uttered a single syllable. Thank you for loving me and please know that I will continue to love you from wherever I am. But I need to know that you will take care of yourself and one day move on. You are truly capable of love Christian Trevelyan Grey and I need you to know that. _

_My only regret is that I never accepted your marriage proposal. I'm sorry for never saying the word, but know that I only did that for your benefit not knowing what our future holds. However, I need you to know that I would have loved and been honored to be your wife, and eventually start a family because I know you are going to make an amazing husband and father._

_I will never forget you._

_I love you with everything I have._

_Your Ana._

I fold the letter and find an envelope and seal it. I write Christian's name on the outside and then I place it in my work bag. I need to find a good place for him to find it if I don't make it home.

I go to get ready for bed and remove my scarf, blouse and bra. I look at my breasts and wonder what it will be like with them being gone. I touch them to remember the feeling.

All I can think about is how my body could fail me like this. Grace told me not to focus on the negative because it's not healthy, but when I look in the mirror its hard not to.

"Anastasia," I hear Christian call when he enters our room. I grab a robe and cover up. I don't want him to know what I'm doing.

"In here."

"What are you doing?"

"Just thinking."

"You know you can talk to me. I wish you would," he says leaning against the vanity.

I don't know how I can tell him that I'm worried about how I'm going to feel about the surgery.

"I'm just thinking about what I'm going to look like after surgery," I say and drop my robe.

"You are going to look gorgeous."

I know he has to say that, but I want him to tell me the truth.

"Anastasia, tell me what's really on your mind."

I pause and I don't know how to say it.

"Will you still love me when I'm all hacked up?" I say looking down at my hands that are rest on the sink.

"Anastasia, please look at me," he says tilting my chin up so I look him in the eye. "You will never be anything but pure perfection in my eyes, I love you so much. I just want you healthy, and I will do whatever it takes to ensure that."

"But I won't look like a woman without my boobs," I finally admit out loud.

"Breasts don't make a woman; it's what inside the person that makes her a woman."

"So would you be okay if I didn't opt for a reconstruction?" I ask knowing that I will have reconstruction, but I want to see what he says.

"I will support any decision you make. If it makes you feel better, you know that I'm an ass man more than anything." He jokes.

I can't help but laugh.

"Thank you for standing my by side," I say kissing his sweet delicious lips.

"There is no other place where I would want to be."

**_Christian POV_**

All Ana wanted after we made love was for me to hold her, and there wasn't anything else I wanted to do. To have her fall asleep in my arms is just about the best feeling possible. Who would have thought Ana was the key to finally letting down all my walls so that she could touch me?

I reflect on the first time that I allowed her to touch my chest; it was right after we made love for the first time. Ana had just told me that was a virgin and I couldn't believe it. Before we threw sex into the mix of our very young relationship, she had to know about my alternative lifestyle. I needed her to know about my past and that meant explaining to her about Elena and the 15. At first, I thought Ana was going to run, but she surprised me yet again but staying. That night I opened up and didn't leave anything out. I think it helped her to understand why I am who I am.

I told her that when I'm with her all those feeling of needing power and control were gone, and all I needed was to be with her. No matter what I needed to do to prove it to her. That night we learned how to make love together. We didn't just fuck, and it was the most powerful feeling in the world. That was the night I told Anastasia that I loved her for the first time. But what made the night truly perfect was when she told me that she loved me too.

I woke up before the sun rose and left Ana a note telling her that I needed to go into the office but I would see her in a few hours.

**_Ana POV_**

Christian is gone when I wake up and I find a note on his pillow. He asked me to call him when I wake up.

"Hello beautiful," Christian says when he answers the phone.

"I miss you," I say.

"I'm just wrapping up here now. I would love to take you out to lunch so get dressed and Sawyer will be ready to bring you to me."

Christian's up to something, but I decide to play along.

"I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you more," he answers before hanging up.

After I shower, I walk into the closet and find a garment bag with a sign tag on the front that says open me.

I unzip the bag to find a beautiful blue chevron striped maxi dress with matching scarf and a jewelry box.

Oh Christian.

I know that he wants to make today special to help keep my mind off of the surgery, and so far he's doing a great job.

The best thing about shaving my head it really cuts down my getting ready time.

I walk into the foyer and find Sawyer waiting for me.

"I'm ready to go," I say.

When I get into the SUV, Sawyer hands me a blindfold.

"Mr. Grey asked that you wear this?"

"Of course he did. So I take it you won't give me a hint as to where you're taking me?"

"Sorry Ana, it would be my job if I did."

"Well, we wouldn't want that."

I try to figure out where we're going but once we hit the freeway I'm lost.

Twenty-five minutes later I feel us going over a gravel road.

The car finally comes to a stop and then I feel Sawyer open my door and help me out of the car.

"Can I take this off now?"

"Not yet," he says and I know we haven't reached our final destination.

Finally, after walking what feels like a mile, I feel Sawyer stop and turn me just so.

"Take off your blindfold."

"Christian is that you?"

He says nothing. I take off my blindfold and I gasp at what I see.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Ana POV_**

I'm in utter shock at the scene that is playing out right in front of me. Christian is dressed in a sharp black suit with matching tie, and he is down on one knee. We are surrounded by flowers and candles, but I have no idea where we are.

"You have my heart and here are the flowers," Christian says producing a black box from his coat pocket.

I can't believe this is happening.

"Anastasia Rose Steele, I have loved you since the moment I saw your beautiful face through that silver mask. I was lucky to get to know the beautiful face behind the mask and to my disbelief you love me for the person I am even knowing all of my faults. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you please do me the greatest honor in the world by agreeing to be my wife? Will you marry me?"

He opens the box to reveal the most incredible ring I've seen. I don't even know how to describe it. All I see is this huge diamond.

I think my jaw has dropped to the floor.

I look from the ring and then to his beautiful face. I can't leave him in agony any longer.

"Are you sure?"

Why did I just say that?

"Anastasia, I have never been surer of anything in my entire life."

"Yes," I say and he slips the ring on my ring and then kisses my lips.

"You have made me the happiest man in the world. I love you so much," he says picking me up and swinging me around.

"Now are you going to tell me exactly where I am?"

"We're home."

Home?

"What are you talking about?"

"I bought this house a few weeks ago. Actually the day you broke up with me, I signed all the papers. I came home to tell you only to find you leaving me. I want this to be our home. Elliott is going to do all the renovations and he says that we can be in by Christmas."

"You bought this for us?"

"Yes, I want to start our life together as husband and wife in this house. This will be where we will raise our children."

Children, what if I'm not able to have children? I haven't even thought about that. Will Christian still want me if I can't bear his children?

"Ana, what's wrong?"

"What if I can't have babies after all this?"

"Is that why you are so upset?"

"I need to know that you are okay if I can't have your children."

"We can adopt. I got lucky when Carrick and Grace found me. There are thousands of children out there that need a good home, and we can give it to them. Ana, I don't need to have biological children all I know is that I want you."

"You know I don't deserve you right?" I ask as he finally gets up from his knees.

"I think you have it backwards. It's me that doesn't deserve you. Now, follow me I want to show you around."

I can't get over this beautiful house, more like a mansion.

"And this will be our room," Christian said.

The room is gigantic; it has two closets and an enormous bathroom.

I think I'm in love.

"So what do you think?"

"Can we move in tomorrow?"

"Let's see what Elliott can do for my future wife."

Christian then leads me down the massive staircase and out the back door to one of the most incredible views I have ever seen. But the best part is when I spot a blanket on the tall grass with a picnic basket.

"I thought we could have our first meal together right here," Christian says as we both sit down facing the water.

My new fiancé has really outdone himself this time.

"So when do you want to marry me?"

"I don't know, I'm still getting used to the idea that we're engaged," I say looking down at my ring.

"What about you?"

"Me? I would marry you this afternoon if you would agree."

"Christian, I don't want to marry you looking like this and right before my surgery. I don't think spending our honeymoon in a hospital is very romantic do you?"

"I could make it romantic. Plus we could just delay our honeymoon until you are feeling up to it."

"How about this? After I recover, then we can discuss dates. Is that acceptable to you Mr. Grey?"

"Fine," he pouts.

God he is so sexy when he pouts.

"Are we all alone?" I say pushing Christian down on the blanket.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I wanted to pleasure my fiancé and thank him for loving me."

"Oh really?"

In a flash Christian whips out his cell phone and quickly barks orders to Taylor. I have no idea what he says as he's talking in code. He throws his phone down and looks at me and smile.

"You may continue."

Good thinking on Christian's part for buying me a dress. If not this would prove to be a little more difficult.

I unzip his pants and his manhood springs to attention.

"I am the luckiest man in the entire world;" he says taking my face into his hands and crushes his lips to mine."

If today happens to be my last day on Earth, this how I want to spend it.

We are lost in each other and I want to remember every touch and sensation.

I position myself over Christian just so, and slink down taking all of him.

Christian closes his eyes and tilts his head back.

I grab a hold of his muscular thighs and begin to move.

I don't know who could be watching us, so I decide I want to make this memorable but quick. I know the grass is tall and we are nearly hidden, but I'm not quiet.

Christian grabs hold of my hips and helps me create an amazing friction between us. I lean back slightly and really start to absorb the power that is Christian Grey.

The next thing I know I'm bouncing up and down on Christian and my orgasm just rips through my body, and I know his release is nearing. I build up my speed and Christian pulls me down faster and harder down on him.

"Christian," I moan and close my eyes.

I don't know how he manages to do it, but somehow he also finds a way for us to come together. I think it makes the experience so much better, but I don't know the alternative. Christian is the only man to have ever seen me naked let alone have sex with.

With everything I have, I wish that we could freeze this moment and pretend that I never had cancer and wasn't going in for life-altering surgery.

Finally I pull myself off of Christian and readjust my dress and he tucks himself back into his pants. We start to pack up our wonderful lunch when I hear someone coming toward us.

"Sir, if I may have a word," Taylor says from a little distance away.

I wonder how he knew it was safe for him to approach us. I get the sneaking suspicion that he saw or heard what was going despite Christian asking him to stand down. I can feel the blush spreading across my face.

I watch Christian and Taylor talk so that I can't hear. This can't be good. Christian runs his hands through his hair, and then he looks over to me and attempts to smile but I know it's forced.

What now I wonder.

He walks back over to me and I know he's deciding very careful on his words.

"Anastasia," he begins, no this isn't good at all.

I think about all the possibilities of what he's about to tell me and then looking at his face. I know what's wrong.

"She isn't coming is she?"

"How did you know?"

I was so hoping that I was wrong.

"I told you. What was her excuse this time?"

"She just called my office and said that she wouldn't be able to make the flight even though it was already at the airstrip awaiting her arrival."

I can't believe she called Christian's office and not me. I find my purse and grab my phone. Just as I thought, there isn't a missed call, text, or even an e-mail from my mother.

"Unbelievable!"

"Please don't let this spoil our day," Christian says attempting to take the phone.

"No, I need to do this. I'm done making excuses for that woman who claims to be my mother. If the situation doesn't suit her then she finds a way to weasel out of it. Just like what she did to the marriage to Ray." Ray is the only father I've ever known and loved. It doesn't even matter that he's no blood relation. He has been more than just a father to me and I can't wait to see him tomorrow.

I dial my mother's number and I'm shocked that she actually answered and didn't let it go to voicemail.

"Ana, I know what you're going to say, but I couldn't help it this time, it's Bob," she says in an attempt to plead her case.

"Wait, don't tell me, he has a case of the sniffles and you couldn't bear to leave him."

There's silence.

"Mom, I'm waiting, what is it."

"Ana, Bob is passing a kidney stone and he needs me."

"Are you fucking kidding me? I'm your daughter, your only child, and I'm about to have my breasts chopped off my body because I have cancer or did you forget that key point?"

"Ray is coming up right, isn't that enough? I will come up in a few days."

"You know what? Don't even bother. As far as I'm concerned I don't have a mother anymore. Let's just pretend that I die tomorrow and then you don't have to worry about me being an inconvenience anymore. Let's be honest that's how you have made me feel for my entire life."

"Don't say that, you're not going to die."

"Goodbye Carla," I say hanging up on her ignoring her pleas.

I will not cry. I will not shed a tear over that woman. I will not cry.

Christian pulls me into his arms and I just let go.

"Why does she have that effect on me," I ask and my voice breaks.

"I'm sorry; Carla doesn't deserve you as a daughter."

"Try telling her that."

The only thing that comes to my mind is Ray.

"I need to call my dad."

"Annie is everything okay."

"No, it's mom."

"I know, she just called me. I am so sorry. In fact, I'm actually on my way up your way now. I didn't want you to be alone."

That is my undoing and I completely lose it.

"Daddy, why does she hate me so much? Why does her want to hurt me like this?"

"Your mother doesn't hate you."

"Then what do you call it?"

"You know I promised never to speak ill of your mother in front of you, and even though I had several choice words for her when she called me I will not repeat those."

God bless my dad.

"So, is my future son-in-law taking care of you," he asks.

How does he know?

"Pardon me?"

"Christian called me late last night to ask my permission for your hand."

I look up at Christian and he heard everything and smiles.

"I wanted to do it the right way," he whispers in my ear before he kisses my cheek. "Is this what you want Annie?"

"More than anything, I love him daddy."

"That's all I needed to hear."

"Call me when you get into Seattle and I will give you directions to Christian's. I love you daddy."

"Annie, I love you too."

**_Christian POV_**

Thank God for Ray. He was the key to finally getting Ana to stop crying. From the moment we got back to Escala she went into our room and cried. All I knew to do was just hold her. Then the moment Ray was shown into our room, Ana's demeanor changed and she went over to him and he just held her. From the moment on, the tears stopped flowing. She just needed her daddy.

My parents arrive for dinner and it was nice to finally have our parents meet so we can celebrate our engagement properly.

Gail made Ana's favorite meal tonight complete with a chocolate cake.

Ana excuses herself to go and pack for the hospital. I wasn't sure if she wanted to be alone so I followed her into our room.

"I don't even know what to pack?" She says opening her drawers. "I guess I won't need these anymore?" She says holding up a bra.

"You promised no negative thoughts."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Something else is on your mind, please talk to me."

"You know Mia doesn't even know that I have cancer let alone that I'm going in for surgery tomorrow morning. I wish she was here."

"Did I hear someone say my name?"

We both look at the door and there is my last minute hail Mary.

When Ana sees Mia, she instantly breaks down, but this time I think it's a good cry. My little sister runs over and takes my fiancée in her arms.

Ana looks up and mouths the word thank you to me, and all I can do is smile but inside my heart is breaking. I leave them together and go in search of my father and Ray.

**_Ana POV_**

I don't know how he did it, but Christian is a miracle man.

"Why didn't you call me and tell me? I had to learn that you had cancer from my brother."

"I didn't want to ruin your trip."

"You are my best friend."

"I know. I asked him not to tell you and then we scheduled the surgery and I didn't know what to do. When did Christian call you?"

"Last night, he told me everything and I got on the first flight home. I had to be here for you."

"You have no idea how much I need you with me. I don't know how I'm going to get through this Mia. Christian says he understands what I'm going through but he's a not a woman."

"Well, I'm here now, so let's talk."

"How am I going to get through this and still feel like a woman?"

"You can't think like that, and besides it will only be temporary right?"

"Yes. So what they will do is remove both breasts and put in tissue expanders, and then I will go through one more round of chemo. Hopefully in 6-8 weeks after the chemo they will be able to do the reconstruction."

"If Christian wasn't in the picture would you even care about this?"

Mia is right. Man, I wish I would have told her all of this when I first was diagnosed she can put everything into perspective for me.

I also share my hatred for my mother right now, and again she is the logical one in this situation.

"You've told me before that your mother can't handle the tough stuff. You grew up taking care of your mother as if you were the mother and not the child. Now I'm not saying that it justifies her behavior, it just fits her pattern. But you shouldn't worry about her because everyone you love and care about will be in that hospital tomorrow for you."

"You're right. I asked your mom to be in the operating room with me."

"See what did I tell you?"

"Will you stay here tonight?"

"Like I have any better offers. Plus we need to discuss you moving out?"

"What?"

"I see your clothes hanging in my brother's closet."

"Well, we're engaged," I say showing her my ring.

"Christian failed to mention that. You're going to be my sister?"

I nod and we both start crying.

I'm awake well before my alarm and Christian is fast asleep.

I head into the bathroom and lock the door behind me.

I need to do this by myself. I strip off my top and look at myself one last time in the mirror. I touch my breasts and remember what they feel like.

I get into the shower and then dress before heading out of the bathroom.

"Why was the door locked," Christian asks as I find him standing by the door waiting for me apparently.

"I needed to do something and I wanted my privacy."

"Want to talk about it."

"Not really, but I'm ready to do this," I say and smile. I then kiss him lightly on his lips.

About 45 minutes later, Christian, Mia and Gail join me in the foyer waiting to head downstairs. I couldn't believe when Gail asked me last night if she could be with me during my surgery. Of course I said yes. I can use all the love and support I can get.

We arrive at the hospital at seven o'clock and we are shown to my room, where I change into the most fashionably gown and get into bed waiting for Dr. Warren to go over my surgery one last time. Christian is there the whole time holding my hand as the nurse inserts my IV and takes all of my vitals.

"You nervous?" He asks me.

"A little. I just wish that we can just get on with it. This waiting is going to kill me."

Christian looks at me with a strange look, and then I realize why.

"Okay bad choice of words, but you know that right."

"Nothing is going to happen to you."

I don't want to share my doubts again, but I did my online research and I know the risks.

"I know."

"I love you," he says stroking my cheek.

"I love you more," I reply and lean my face into his cheek and close my eyes.

After Dr. Warren and Dr. Becker leave my room, I'm greeted by my dad, Carrick, Mia, Elliott, Gail, Taylor and Sawyer. Everyone tries to keep the room light and Elliott of course makes several inappropriate jokes that make me uncomfortable especially with my father and Carrick in the room, but they pay him no mind.

Grace arrives dressed in her scrubs and announces that its time to go.

Christian kisses me one last time before I'm wheeled down to the operating room.

The room smells sterile and it's white and very bright.

The anesthesiologist inserts another needle into my IV and says to start counting backward. He tells me that I'm going to have a nice nap.

Wait, I need Grace to know something.

"Grace, if something happens, Christian needs to know I wrote him a letter and it's in my work bag that I brought to the hospital," I say in almost a panic as suddenly I feel very sleepy.

"Anastasia, nothing is going to happen to you."

"Remember the letter," I say before my eyes close.

**_Christian POV_**

I'm grateful that my mother is with Anastasia, it's just a comfort. I just wish I knew how much longer this surgery is going to take. It's been nearly five hours, and we haven't received an update in more than an hour. Mia has been holding my hand the hold time. I haven't moved from my seat.

"What's taking so long?" I ask my father looking at my watch again.

"Remember they said it would be this long son."

I wait anxiously until I see my mom walking toward us.

"She's doing great. She's in recovery right now, and you can see her in a few minutes."

Oh thank God. I look over at Ray who can finally relax.

"Ray would you like to go first?" I offer.

"No, I think I'm going to call her mother. She doesn't deserve the phone call, but I know Annie would still want her mother to know that she's fine."

I don't know how that man does it. He is a saint just as Ana as described him.

I'm shown to a private room and I see Ana who looks like she is still sleeping.

I walk over and kiss her forehead and take her hand.

I watch as her eyelids begin to flutter.

"Anastasia," I say.

"So I'm still alive?"

I start to laugh.

"It would appear so. How are you feeling?"

"Fine actually."

I'm grateful for that.

Ana starts to take inventory of her new body.

A nurse walks over to us to explain about the drains and her bandages.

"How long will I have to be here?" She asks.

"Well, that's up to Dr. Warren, but most patients are here for a few days. However in your case, you fiancée has arranged a nurse I wouldn't be surprised if you are discharged sometime tomorrow."

Ana looks up at me and smiles.

I'm waiting for the fury about using my money on her, but this time she doesn't fight me on it.

"Thank you," she says.

"Anything for you, I thought you would want to recover at home rather than in the hospital."

**_Ana POV_**

I'm desperate to see my new body, but Dr. Warren says that I can't remove the bandage until he sees me next week. I don't know how I'm going to wait that long.

He says that the surgery went great and I didn't lose a lot of blood which is a good thing. He also says that the tissue expanders went in without any problems, and once he sees my next week we will talk about reconstruction.

I don't feel any pain but the moment the nurse goes to move my arms, I feel a strange sensation in my arm pits which is normal they say.

I know everyone is waiting to see me, but I tell Christian that I would like some time with just my dad first. A few minutes later Ray walks in.

"Hello beauty," he says when he walks in the door.

"You called mom didn't you?"

"Did Christian tell you?"

"No, but whenever you call me beauty I know you are covering for mom. What did she say?

I can tell by his face that he doesn't want to tell me, but I can handle it, I think.

"She said she knew that there wasn't anything to worry about, so that's why she didn't feel it necessary to come all the way to Seattle."

"Of course she said that."

"Annie, pay her no mind. You know I don't."

I start to laugh but it's uncomfortable.

"You know you've got a good man in Christian? I can tell just how much he loves you."

"I love him so much daddy."

"I know you do, so when's the big day?"

"We haven't really talked dates. We wanted to wait until after the surgery, and I would like to have a little of my hair back first."

"Oh Annie!"


	6. Chapter 6

_**I want to thank everyone for all of your amazing reviews and comments and for sharing your stories about your battles with cancer or of loved ones. I am writing this story to honor one of very close friends who is currently fighting this. She is only 34 and I'm basing my story on her battle from having a double mastectomy to a few months ago finally having breast reconstruction. I have seen her strong will to win this fight first hand and I wanted to write her story to show her just how proud I am of her. I hope you enjoy my story! Please keep up the reviews.**_

* * *

It's been exactly seven days since my surgery, and I'm anxious to see my new body. While I was in the hospital I made sure not to look down at my chest because I knew that it was swollen and bruised. Melissa, my new home health care nurse, encouraged me to wait until my first doctor's appointment so it will be easier to take.

Melissa has been great. It's helpful that she also survived breast cancer at the age of 33. She had a double mastectomy, and is now five years cancer free. It's been nice talking to someone who has been through the same thing as me, and she can better answer my questions. She has been so honest with me in how she felt when she had her breasts removed, and what the process of being reconstructed felt like. She has been such an inspiration to me. I'm sad that she will be leaving in a few days, because she has been such an encouragement. She has been great every time she comes in to check on me and take my vitals and check my drains and dressings.

Everyone has been great during my recovery. Christian stayed by my side for the first two days I was home, but he was getting antsy so I told him to go back to work. I assured him that I would be fine having Mia and Grace here as well as Gail. Mia has been great. She has supplied me with enough magazines to last me for months, and she has given me a manicure and pedicure. We've had the best time bonding, and I hate to see it end once I'm back to my normal routine in a few days. I can't wait to get back to work, even if it will be from the comforts of my bed.

The most surprising thing in my recovery is what little pain I feel. There is a little soreness, but that's it. The drains have been the worst, and it proves hard to sleep. Hopefully today they will be removed. What I'm most looking forward to is taking a shower. These sponge baths just aren't cutting it. I feel so gross. I know Christian loves being my nurse, but he got too hands on when he was cleaning me, and I am off limits for at least six weeks. Because of that, I asked Lauren to take over.

Christian is going to meet me at Dr. Warren's office today, and then we are going out to lunch to hopefully celebrate good news from the Dr.

I'm dressed in a paper gown, and I can't wait for Dr. Warren to get in here. Christian asked if I wanted him in the room for the reveal, and although I was hesitant, I knew I wanted him to be there with me.

Dr. Warren comes in and tries to chit chat with me, but I want to get down to business. Finally he has me stand up and he removes my lovely hospital bra and then the bandages. I have my eyes closed because I am not ready to look down.

"We're ready whenever you are Ana," he says. I take a deep breath and open my eyes, and look straight ahead at the mirror.

There are no words to describe what I'm feeling.

"I'm really pleased with your progress. There is minimal bruising and your stitches are almost all dissolved. You're an ideal patient."

I know that is supposed to make me feel better, but I guess I didn't prepare myself for this.

I have scars that stretch the width of where my breasts used to be and my nipples are gone.

I can see Christian looking at me, and when I see his face I want to cry. I know I can't because I may not be able to stop once I begin.

Dr. Warren is able to remove all of my drains and the pain is instantly gone, but the image of my scarred chest is burned into my memory.

He then performs a series of tests to determine if I'm cancer free.

If everything comes out positive, we will be able to begin the tissue expander process in three to four weeks. He expects to have the expanders in for about three to six months before I can get my implants.

As we walk out of office, I can feel Christian holding my hand but I feel numb. I don't know what to say to him, and he is respecting my need to deal with this before I'm ready to talk about it.

I really don't want to go to lunch, and Christian is okay with eating at home.

When we do get home, I go straight to the bathroom and lock the door. I unzip my bra and just stare at myself.

I don't know how long I've been in the bathroom until there is a knock on the door.

"Ana, will you please let me in? You're scaring me."

I zip up my bra and unlock the door.

My silent tears have streaked my face. He says nothing; instead he just takes me into his arms.

"I feel like I've been mutilated," I admit out loud.

"Ana, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

"You could tell me that despite how I look you still love me."

Christian freezes and pulls back so that he can look at me.

"Anastasia, you could never look ugly to me. Those are your battle scars, and you should wear them proud. You chose to fight this head on, and I couldn't more be more proud of you."

That's exactly what I needed to hear.

It's been seven days, and we still haven't gotten the results back. This can't be a good sign. Tomorrow is my 25th birthday, and I am hoping I'll get the best early present with the diagnosis that I'm cancer free.

I've called Dr. Warren's office every day to check on the status of my results, and I get the same answer each time.

It's Friday and if I don't hear anything today, the earliest I would hear something would be Monday. I can't take this torture anymore.

Since I've been home, Christian has made it a point to be home to have lunch with me at Escala, and to be home every night by five o'clock. I'm really getting used to this. I hope that he continues this routine because it's great to have dinner with him at a decent hour.

He just left after having an amazing lunch, and now I'm all alone again. Gail has gone to the grocery store to stock up for the weekend, and I think she has something up her sleeve for my birthday tomorrow.

At two my phone rings. I grab my phone, and see its Dr. Warren's office.

"Hello."

"Anastasia," its Dr. Warren himself. I wasn't expecting him to call me.

"Hey Dr. Warren."

"So, we just got your results back, and I wanted to be the one to call you with the news."

I feel my body start to shake.

"Just give it to me straight."

"Well, I have great news. All of your tests came back negative. You are officially cancer-free."

Oh thank you God.

"Thank you so much," I say.

"Now, I would like to see you next week so we can start the reconstruction process. I think you've waited enough."

"Yes sir."

I end the call and I want to run around the house and scream. This has been the best news ever. I needed this so much.

I want to surprise Christian with my news, so I decide to bake him a cake and then decorate the top with the words cancer-free. Luckily, there were enough supplies left to bake a chocolate cake. It's just coming out of the oven when Gail comes home.

I can't keep my news a secret anymore, so I tell her. She is over the moon with the news. She says that she knew that was going to be the result.

She even helps me to ice and decorate the cake while I get dressed up.

And then right on cue, Christian walks in the door. I swore Gail to secretly that she wouldn't let the cat of the bag. The best part is that Christian has stopped asking if Dr. Warren has called, because it would just set me off.

I barely make it through dinner without spilling the beans.

"I helped Gail make dessert tonight," I say going into the kitchen to retrieve the cake.

"Can we just skip dessert? I'm so full."

What are you kidding me? Christian never skips dessert. Why start tonight?

"Just a little taste?"

I smile without him knowing, and then I place my masterpiece in front of him.

He says nothing and I'm waiting for his reaction.

"What?" Christian finally utters before looking up at me. I have the biggest grin on my face.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"When did you hear?"

"A few hours ago."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I thought I would surprise you this way."

Christian jumps up and picks me up and swings me around.

"We need to celebrate."

"Well, what do you have in mind?"

**_Christian POV_**

Ana has to remind me that she's untouchable for the next four weeks, but that doesn't stop her from pulling me into our bedroom.

"Now, I think you have too many clothes on," she says as she starts pulling my belt out of my pants. She keeps her eyes on me the whole time just the way I like it.

I love the way she looks up at me with those beautiful blue eyes through her amazingly long eyelashes.

What this woman does to me I will never know, but I never want her to leave my side.

The way she looks at me reminds me of the first night we made love, and I will never forget it.

She kisses my lips before she sinks down to her knees and takes me into her mouth.

Fuck this feels so amazing.

"Oh my God."

**_Ana POV_**

I wake up in the best mood ever. Today I turn 25, and I'm starting off a brand new year cancer-free. I look down to find Christian wrapped around me. This is the best way to wake up. I was thrilled when Christian told me that he planned to take the day off to spend with me, this is just about the best gift he could give me.

"Are you finally awake?"

"How long have you been awake?"

"Oh not long. I just have a schedule for today, and you know me I don't like to deviate from that. So if you would please excuse me, I need to get your birthday off to the perfect start. Wait here, don't move."

"Yes sir."

"Oh Anastasia, you know what that word does to me."

I know that Christian has sworn up and down that he has no need to retreat back into the BDSM lifestyle, but I wonder if ever gets that urge. After we started dating, Christian learned about my lack of a sexual history and he got rid of everything in his playroom minus the bed and his little drawer of fun toys. I've always wondered if I'm enough for Christian sexually. I'm all about experimenting, don't get me wrong, but after learning everything about Christian's past the thought is always in the back of my mind.

I remember the first time that he showed me his playroom. It was right after he divulged his entire sexually history to me, including his introduction into the lifestyle by his Mrs. Robinson. There were no words to describe my first reaction when he opened the door.

"I need you to tell me exactly how you feel," Christian says as he turns on the lights.

"Is this what you want to do to me?"

I see the whips, canes and other items I've never seen before.

"A small part of me wants to."

I'm glad that he is being honest with me.

"What do you think of everything?" Christian asks while looking down at me with his smoldering grey eyes.

"It's a lot to take in. I don't understand why you like to do this to women?"

He explained what he did to his subs, but he never divulged why he needed to.

"For the power and control."

Christian stops there, but I know there is so much more behind that statement.

"But why?"

I don't know if I should be pushing this, but he decided to tell me about his history before we take our relationship to that next level.

"I just needed too."

"Christian, if we want to make our relationship work I need to know why?"

He reaches over me and turns the light off. He pulls me out of the room, and closes the door.

"If I'm going to tell you the whole story, I can't do it with you in this room."

"Why?"

"You looking the way you are right now is tempting me to resort to how I used to be," he says kissing me on the forehead."

I don't say anything because I can see the fear in his eyes.

He leads me back his bedroom, and I sit down on the bed while he starts to pace his room.

"Well, you already know about Elena and my subs, but you need to know why. I want us to have a future, so please promise me that you'll not run after what I'm about to tell you."

Oh God, what is he going to tell me?

I sit back and listen to the man I have serious feelings for tell me about his childhood before he was adopted by Grace and Carrick, and his need to beat young brunette women that happen to look like me.

"So when you first met me, you thought I fit the bill as your next sub?"

He doesn't say anything, but his eyes give him away.

"If I consented, would you want me as a sub?"

"Absolutely not."

I don't know how I feel about that. I know I should feel relieved but a part of me feels like I'm not all that he needs, wants or desires.

"Why?"

He puts his finger to his lips and tries to temper a smile that is forming on his lips.

"First off, you don't have a submissive bone in your body, and the other reason is that I don't see you like that. I feel much more for you than I've ever felt before, and part of that scares me."

It scares me too, but it's comforting to know that he feels the same way.

"Are you going to leave me?" Christian asks really concerned.

It's now or never, I need to convince him that I'm not going anywhere.

I slowly rise from the bed and face Christian. I slip out of my dress and let it fall to the ground.

"What are you doing Anastasia?"

I'm still debating if I can do this. I need to gather all my courage and strength and just tell him.

"I think I'm falling in love with you Christian," I say as I walk over to him and place my hands on his chest.

"You think?" He breathes into my hair.

I push back and look at him and all I can focus on are his lips.

"Anastasia, I love you," he says as he takes my face into his hands and kisses me.

Is this really happening? I can't believe what he has just confessed.

"Anastasia," I hear my name but I don't want to wake up.

Finally I open my eyes and see Christian carrying a beautiful silver tray filled with delicious goodies.

"Happy Birthday beautiful."

Christian has really spoiled me today. He has converted the guest room into a mini spa and I got a facial, a massage, and my nails done. The last step was getting my make-up done. When I enter our room there is a large black box with a bow on the bed. There is a card on top of it that says _Open Me. _I open the box to reveal an elegant red cocktail dress with matching high heels.

I put the dress on and look at my reflection at the mirror in the bathroom.

My hair has just started sprouting in patches so I decide to pull out a white scarf and wrap my head.

"You look unbelievable, but I think you are missing something," Christian says looking quite dapper in his dark charcoal suit and matching tie. I almost want to cry he looks so amazing.

He pulls a rather large black box out of is suit jacket and hands it to me with the biggest smile on his face.

I open the box to reveal a gorgeous diamond drop necklace.

"This is beautiful Christian, but it's way too much," I say closing the box.

"Oh no you don't," he says and puts the necklace around my neck.

**_Christian POV_**

I really wish that Anastasia would start accepting my gifts more willingly. I told her that I wanted to give her the world, and I truly intend to fulfill my promise.

"I hope you're hungry," I say leading her downstairs to the parking garage where Taylor is waiting for us.

"I'm starving."

I hope that she likes what I have planned.

We arrive at the Mile High Club and I ask her to close her eyes once we walk off the elevator.

"And you're going to tell me why I need to close my eyes."

"It's a surprise," I whisper in her ear and then I walk her into the main dining room. "Open your eyes."

**_Ana POV_**

"Surprise," everyone that I love and cares about yells.

This is the best surprise party I've ever had. Honestly, it's my first surprise party.

Mia is the first person to run up and hug me,

"Happy Birthday," she says squeezing me so tight, Mia is just about the world's best hugger. "Are you surprised?"

"I would say so."

"Did you do this?" I turn and ask Christian. He just nods as several waiters come out carrying trays of champagne.

"Speech, speech," Elliott calls out from the crowd and I blush.

Christian kisses my cheek and hands me a flute.

"Wow, I don't even know what to say. Thank you everyone for coming out to celebrate my birthday. There is another reason for celebration tonight, and I guess this is the best time to tell everyone. I found out yesterday that I'm 100% cancer free."

I hear gasps in the crowd and there isn't a dry eye in the house. I look over and see my dad. I smile at him and mouth I love you.

"I want to say thank you to everyone in this room for all of your love and support over the last few weeks. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all of you."

Christian takes my hand and I can feel him giving me his strength to continue.

This is the reason why I am so in love with this man.

The rest of the evening I'm surrounded by all my friends and family. Well, Ray is my only family present, but I feel like Christian's family is my family. I'm so glad that my mother isn't here, I wonder if Christian invited her?

As my very elaborate birthday cake is wheeled out, Mia brings me over to the cake and tells me to make a wish and blow at the candles.

I don't need to make a wish because all of my dreams have already come.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Ana POV_**

I don't know why I am so nervous today for my first injection into my expanders. I asked Melissa to come with me today, and I'm grateful that she will be by my side. Christian asked if he could attend my appointment and as much as I want him there, I told him no because I don't want him to see me like. I wasn't sure if I hurt his feelings, but he said that he understood.

Being back at work has been the best way to get on with my life, and get back to my normal routine. Grace insisted that I take as much time as I needed before coming back to work, but after two weeks, I was itching to get back into the office. I have so many people counting on me.

At four, I shut down my computer and let Sawyer know that I'm ready to head to my plastic surgeon's office.

When we pull up to Dr. Appleton's office, I see Melissa waiting for me at the front door. Instantly I feel better.

"How are you feeling?" She asks.

"I'm ready to start this process."

"You know it's okay to be nervous."

That's why I asked Melissa to be with me. She knows exactly how I feel.

We arrive and when I open the door I find Christian and Taylor in the waiting room.

"What are you doing here," I ask as Taylor gets up and walks out of the office.

"I know you didn't want me to come to your appointment, but I still wanted to be here for you. So I'm going to wait out here while you're in there."

"You have one amazing fiancé," Melissa says with a smile.

"I sure do."

After waiting about 10 minutes, I'm called back and I give Christian a hug and quick kiss.

I'm lying down on the exam table in my favorite paper gown waiting for Dr. Appleton.

Dr. Appleton has been so great to work with. When Christian and I met with him for the first time, he made me feel very comfortable right away. I didn't get a chance to meet him before my surgery when he inserted my expanders, so I'm very happy that he has such a great bedside manner.

When it came to what size I wanted to go, I wasn't really sure what I wanted. Before the surgery I was a small B and I knew that I wanted to go a little bigger, but I wasn't sure just how much bigger I wanted to go. I asked Christian what size I should get but he said that I should pick the right size for me.

After trying out a few sample implants into my beautiful hospital bra, I decide to go with a full C. When I looked in the mirror at my new shape, I feel like more a woman, and not the little girl I always saw.

I will never get over Christian's face when I showed him, his eyes bugged out of his head.

After we left the doctor's office, I turned to Christian and stopped.

"I thought you told me that you were an ass man," I ask and laugh.

"I was, but I can always change my mind."

"Good afternoon Ana," Dr. Appleton says walking in.

He makes the usual small talk before he opens my gown to look at my chest.

"Everything looks really good," he says touching my scars. "You ready to get started?"

He pulls out a big syringe with a long needle, and Melissa comes over and holds my hand.

There is only a slight twinge of pain where he inserts the needle into the valve under my skin, but it's not bad. The sensation is a little funny. It's kind of like blowing up a balloon; only in this case the balloon is my breast.

After 10 minutes I've survived my first injection. Dr. Appleton says I may be sore, and tells not to sleep on my stomach. I'm glad that I sleep on my back.

I look in the mirror after Dr. Appleton leaves and I can't believe what I difference one session makes. I can't believe how great I feel. Sadly, I know that after my next session my breasts will be bigger than what my original boobs looked like. After I put my shirt back on, I could really notice a difference.

"I told you," Melissa says looking at my reflection in the mirror.

"Thank you for coming with me."

"Anything for you."

We walk out into the waiting room and I can tell that Christian has been anxiously awaiting my return.

"How did it go?"

"Piece of cake," I say and kiss his lips.

"You look beautiful, but you looked beautiful before today."

That man always knows what to say to make me feel like a million bucks. I can't believe that we've made it to this point.

Today is the big day when I get my new breasts. Christian and I arrived early this morning so I could get all checked in.

Dr. Appleton comes into my room to go over the surgery and verifies my desired size. He tells me that the surgery will take about two hours.

When we are left alone, I can tell that Christian is nervous.

"I will be okay Christian, now please relax you're making me nervous."

"I'm sorry baby; you know how I feel about you and hospitals."

"Do you want me to ask the nurse to give you a Xanax?"

"Very funny Anastasia," he says and kisses me on the forehead before I'm wheeled into the operating room.

"I love you Christian Grey."

"Okay Ana, now start counting backward from ten," Dr. Appleton says and I can feel my eyelids begin feeling very heavy. I make it down to seven before I'm out."

**_Christian POV_**

Mom and Mia have now joined me in the waiting room. I know Ana said that they didn't have to come, but knowing my mom and sister there was no way they could stay home. Ana didn't even bother calling Carla to tell her of her surgery after I told her that I had invited her to Ana's surprise party, and she said that it wasn't a good time for her to fly up to Seattle.

The nerve of that woman. I can't believe she's a mother. I think I'm more upset about the situation than Ana is, but that doesn't mean I couldn't give her a piece of my mind.

Ana and I finally decided on a wedding date. We are getting married on June 17, the day we met. I tried with all my power to convince her marry me tomorrow, but she thought it was appropriate to wed on our anniversary. So I will just have to wait rather impatiently for the next seven months. The one thing that Ana did agree to rather reluctantly was that I was going to fit the bill for everything no questions asked. Ana said she would agree only if we could hold our wedding and reception at my parents' house.

I knew exactly what she was doing. The Coping Together Gala is going to be held the day before at my parents' house, so everything would have been rented for the weekend.

She's a tricky one; that Anastasia Steele. My mother was thrilled when we told them of our plans and asked if they would be willing to host. Of course, we already knew the answer.

I think out of everyone involved, Mia is the most excited in planning this event. She is really going overboard, and Ana has been gracious enough to let her plan our wedding. Ana even asked Mia to be her Maid of Honor.

"Christian, hello, I'm talking to you," Mia says pulling me away from my cell phone.

"What is it Mia?"

"I need your input on cakes," she asks shoving a couple of drawings in my face.

"Whatever you think is best Mia. All that matters to me is that there is a layer of chocolate cake," I say and go back to my e-mail.

"Oh Christian, that's not helpful."

"Tough."

"You're impossible," she says in a huff.

An hour later, Dr. Appleton comes in and gives us the good news that Ana is out of surgery. Everything went perfect just like he predicted, and she is going to be very happy with the outcome.

Finally, I'm showed to recovery, and I see my girl lying there.

"Hey there," she says when I take her hand and kiss her forehead.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore, very sore," she says. "How do they look?"

"Great," I lie, because she's wrapped up in a cocoon and I don't want to look in fear I would hurt her.

"Oh good," she says and I know she wants to go back to sleep.

"I've got great news; Melissa is going to check on you tonight, and the next few days at our house."

"Really?"

"I would do anything for you."

I sit by her side for the next few hours just waiting for her to be discharged.

**_Ana POV_**

I don't think I've ever been in this much pain before in my life. I would take the double mastectomy over this any day. That was a cake walk compared to this. Thank God for pain pills. That's the only thing besides the two large bags of frozen peas on my chest that's helping.

I've tried to sleep most of the day, but I've been so uncomfortable. I can't seem to get into a relaxing position.

Melissa arrives just as Christian and I have finished dinner. I really wasn't hungry for anything besides Gail's homemade tomato soup and grilled cheese.

"How is my favorite patient doing today?" Melissa says trying to laugh.

"Why didn't you tell me that this was going to hurt this bad?"

"Now wait a minute, I told you it hurt. It's different for everybody. You must not have as high of a pain tolerance as I do."

"Very funny," I say adjusting the peas.

Melissa carefully checks each of my drains and takes my vitals.

"You look good."

"Well, that's good because I feel like shit."

"So how do your new boobies feel?"

"Like two hard rocks."

"They will only feel like that for a few weeks until the swelling and bruising go away. I bet Christian can't wait until he can help loosen them up with a massage. That was my husband's favorite part.

I blush a little at her comment, but I'm looking forward to that too.

"For the life of me, I don't understand why any woman would want this surgery if they didn't have cancer. This is not fun."

"You won't be saying that once you are completely healed."

"How long for you?" I ask candidly.

"After my surgery, I had a hard time feeling anything in my new constructed breasts. I dealt with the emotional pain that these weren't my natural breasts, and with some therapy I was able to see them as a part of me and then I could really enjoy them with my husband."

I love that Melissa isn't shy about talking about this because I wanted to know the same thing. I was just a little afraid to ask.

"Did he mind that you didn't have nipples anymore?"

"At first when I looked in the mirror I felt different, but then I bought those adhesive ones after seeing an episode of Sex and the City when Samantha bought herself a pair. To be honest, I never liked them, and I don't think Michael cared either so I don't use them, but who knows what you want to do."

I can't wait until I get to see what Dr. Appleton has created.

"Christian, I'm not ready for you to see me like this yet. I want to be perfect," I say when we get to Dr. Appleton's office.

Today I'm three weeks post-op, and hopefully I will be able to see some real progress. I'm still really swollen and bruised and I look like I'm smuggling watermelons in my bra, but I'm not ready for Christian to look.

"You are perfect, why don't you believe me?"

"Please, do this for me. When I feel ready for you to see I will show you okay?"

"Fine," he says pouting as we wait for Dr. Appleton.

I'm turned away from Christian as the good doctor examines me.

"And you can tell here that your scars are starting to fade very nicely. Now remember they will always be visible, but not that noticeable as your body has taken nicely to the implants.

"Yeah, I wish I got to see," Christian says again pouting, and I flush as I look at Dr. Appleton's face.

I don't even dignify his statement with a response. I am mortified.

"Well Ana, like we discussed previously, we are at the stage that manual stimulation of your breasts will help with the healing process. Sometimes it helps when it's done by someone else."

I know exactly what he's doing, and I'm not going to give Christian the satisfaction.

"That's why I have Melissa," I say whipping my head back and smiling at him.

"I would pay to see that," Christian said.

Damn it, I should have expected that response.

"Well, that's it for now. Remember, I want you to refrain from any physical activity for another two weeks until I give you the go ahead," he says this time looking directly at Christian.

Checkmate!

I have a big surprise in store for Mr. Grey tonight, and he doesn't even have a clue. I decided to change my doctor's appointment from Monday to today. I thought this would be a great way to start our weekend.

After receiving the go ahead from Dr. Appleton, I make my way downtown for my appointment with Caroline Acton at Neiman Marcus. She has supplied me with an entirely new wardrobe since none of my clothes accommodate my new look. She even selected a few pieces that I would love to wear this weekend however, for what I have planned for Christian I may not need them.

I texted Mia to meet me, but I didn't tell her what for. I knew if I told her she probably wouldn't come because what I need her help with is really for her brother.

"Wow Ana, you look amazing," Mia says when she sees me in my low cut t-shirt. I've never been able to pull off this kind of look with my old boobs, but now I can courtesy of my new cleavage.

"Is is too much," I ask and blush.

"Not at all."

We walk through the mall until I stop in front of the destined location.

"Oh no, I'm not picking out slutty lingerie for you to wear for my brother."

And that's why I didn't tell her.

"Then don't think of it that way."

"It's hard not to."

"Mia, please. I have no idea what I should buy, and I've seen your closet."

"Are you calling me a slut?"

"Of course not, you have great taste."

"Flattery will get you everything," she says and bee lines it to the back of the store to exactly what I'm looking for.

"So what kind of look are you going for? Naughty school girl or complete whore."

"How about somewhere in the middle?"

"Well all right then."

Mia sends me back to the dressing room and I just wait as she brings several arm loads of choices.

"Will my brother be funding this trip?"

I open my purse and pull out Christian's Black AMEX card.

"There may be something in it for you if you play your cards right," I say and Mia beams from ear to ear.

"Let's start with these and then ease our way to those."

The first outfit I try on is a pink baby doll dress that is nearly see through with a matching thong.

Mia is insistent that she sees everything to best rule on a yeah or nay.

"Are you coming out?"

"No way," I say looking at myself in the mirror."

"Too bad, I'm coming in," she says and busts through the door.

"You look sexy Steele," she says looking me up to down like I'm a piece of meat. "Now try this."

She throws me two scraps of black lace. This can't be considered lingerie.

I can't believe I'm actually putting this on.

Mia manages to get in again, damn these fabric curtains. Why aren't there locks on the dressing rooms?

"This is it. You have to wear this tonight when Christian gets home," Mia says. "Shit if I didn't love boys so much, hell I could turn for you."

"Mia," I scold.

"What you're hot."

"It's not too much."

"Umm…no."

A $1,000 later, I think I have enough lingerie to last me until the end of the world.

"I need a boyfriend," she says as Sawyer meets us at the front of the store. I could tell he was a little embarrassed when we went into the store knowing exactly what I was purchasing.

As we take Mia to her car she pulls me aside.

"Is Luke single," she asks, and I can't believe she's asking me that.

"I'm not sure, I've never asked him. Why would you need to know that Mia?"

"You know exactly why Steele."

"Would you like me to ask him?"

"Please, it's the least you can do after I had to watch you try on everything with your killer new rack."

I make a final few phone calls to ensure this weekend is perfect. Then I wonder how I'm going to talk to Sawyer about this.

"Luke can I ask you a question," I ask.

"Go ahead Miss Steele," he says looking back at me in the rearview mirror.

"I've told you to call me Ana, but never mind that. I was wondering if you had a girlfriend."

Sawyer stops at the stoplight and turns around.

"Excuse me?" Oh no, I think he has the wrong idea.

"I have a friend who wants to know." Yeah that sounds so much better.

"A friend?"

Sorry Mia, I'm going to have to give you up. I can't have Sawyer thinking I have a crush on him, that won't go over well.

"It's Mia Grey."

"As is Mr. Grey's sister?"

"That would be the one."

"No I don't have a girlfriend."

That's what I thought.

I pull out my cell phone and text Mia with the good news.

Ana: No girlfriend!

Mia: Really?

Ana: Yes, I just asked him.

Mia: Did he ask why?

What do I say now?

Ana: Yes

Mia: And?

Ana: I told him that I wanted him.

Mia: You told him it was me didn't you?

Ana: Don't hate me.

"Luke, would you ever consider going on date with Mia? She's very pretty."

"She's more than pretty Ana. I'm a man, I'm not blind, but there is no way that Mr. Grey would ever allow that."

"Leave Mr. Grey to me. Look you're off this weekend and Christian will be otherwise occupied. So why don't you take Mia out tomorrow night and just see what happens."

"I don't know about this."

"Please Luke, do this for me. You will have a great time, I promise."

"Do I need to call her?"

"No let me set everything up."

Ana: Dinner tomorrow night, 7pm at Mile High Club. I will arrange everything.

Mia: You are the best!

When we arrive back at Escala, I tell Luke the plan and he actually looks excited.

Gail helps me prepare dinner before Christian gets home.

After she's gone, I get the house ready for Christian's arrival and go into the security room and turn off all the cameras. There is no way, I want any eyes on what is about to happen except for Christian and mine.

I go into the bathroom and do my hair and make-up just right, and then get dressed.

I turn down all the lights in the house to illuminate the whole house with candles, and take my place by the front door.

Taylor texts me once Christian is heading up in the elevator all alone.

I take one last deep breath just as the elevator dings and the doors open.

"Welcome home sir."


	8. Chapter 8

**_Christian POV_**

Taylor has been acting strange all damn afternoon, and he seems to be very preoccupied. When we arrive home, he just sends me up on the elevator by myself.

When Taylor gets his ass up here, he and I are going to have a little chat. I've had a hell of a day and all I want to do is make myself a very stiff drink and go to bed. Shit, I can't wait till Monday. I don't know if my dick can take another day of being unused. It's been 11 weeks since Ana and I had sex. The only things I've had are a handful of blow jobs and hand jobs. I've even had to resort to masturbating a few times in the shower. Ana better watch out because I plan on taking off at least a week to make up for lost time. I wouldn't mind taking her new breasts for a spin too. I can tell by the little peeks I've gotten that they look amazing. I can't wait for the big reveal.

The doors open and I notice the darkness. I look up and see in the candlelight light my Ana looking incredible in what I describe as a little piece of black lace.

"Welcome home sir," she says looking at me with the look that nearly makes me come right on the spot. "You like what you see sir?"

I don't know how to make my mouth work. I've never been speechless before.

"Wow, Anastasia, you look incredible."

She turns and pirouettes for me, and I see that she's practically naked. I realize at any time one of my staff can walk in. I whip my head up and down the hall for any sign of life.

"Oh, no one's home it's just you and I for the next 48 hours, and I turned off all the cameras. So, now what shall we ever do?"

I have one thing in mind and I set my bag down on the ground and remove my coat and I begin to stalk my prey.

"Come here Miss Steele," I say nearly growling.

She puts her hands on my chest when I get close enough to touch her.

"I thought we would eat first," she says.

"Exactly," I say and lick my lips.

Anastasia takes my hand and leads me toward the kitchen where an elegant table has been set-up.

"This isn't the kind of hunger I wanted to quench," I say as she sits me down and takes her place at the opposite end of the table.

"Call this foreplay."

All throughout dinner, Ana teases me in the way she eats her meal, and I can't take it anymore.

"Fuck this, I need you now," I say and push everything off of the table. I grab Ana and lay her down gently on the table.

"What no dessert?" she asks giggling.

"You are the dessert," I growl unzipping my pants freeing my rock hard erection. "I'm sorry baby but this is going to be quick because it's been too long, but don't worry I'm going to pleasure you all night long."

"Christian?"

"Yes baby?"

"Shut up and fuck me."

"Yes ma'am."

I unsnap her outfit and slam inside of her.

"Fuck," she screams.

She is so wet and tight; my favorite combination. I reach down and rub her throbbing nub as I pound her over and over again.

"Harder, I need it harder."

I'm afraid I'm going to hurt her, but I can tell she needs this just as much as me if not more.

I grab either side of the table and brace myself.

My Anastasia is back, she has never looked more beautiful than she does right now. I stoke down her body, and I watch her new breasts rise and fall with every breath she takes. There is a slight sheen of sweat building on the top of her immense mounds, and all I can think about is how I want to touch them. I know I need for her to say its okay first.

"Oh God Christian, I'm coming."

"Now baby." I feel her tighten against my cock, and that's my clue to let go and pour everything I have into her.

"Thank you," she says through her ragged breathing.

"No, thank you!"

I shift on the table and Ana sits up.

"Now follow me, I need to show you something," she says hoping off the table. She grabs my hand pulling me down to our bedroom, I assume.

She gets on the bed and sits up on her knees as I stand at the end of the bed.

"Babe, you've been so patient with me, and now I want to show you my new body. But remember I still have scars and they don't look like they use to," she says and blushes. I know exactly what she means. She worried about the fact that she doesn't have any nipples.

I watch her as she pulls down the lace from her chest revealing herself.

"What do you think?" She takes her breasts into her hands and starts to play with them.

"They look great, but I think I need a closer look. I need to examine them fully."

"Why go ahead doctor," she teases.

**_Ana POV_**

As I touch my breasts, I notice there still isn't any feeling. Dr. Appleton is optimistic that I will have any feeling in my breasts again, but says that it all depends on the patient. Right now, I don't care. The look on Christian's face is all the satisfaction I need.

"They look great, but I think I need a closer look. I need to examine them fully," Christian says.

"Why go ahead doctor," I tease and scoot back to allow Christian on the bed.

I try not to tense up as his gentle yet nervous hands replace mine.

"Don't worry I'll be gentle," he says and kisses my lips softly.

I close my eyes and the moment he touches me, I feel so much better. His hands are cautious. Just having his hands on my body makes me feel amazing. I've missed his touch for too long.

"What do you think," I ask looking into his eyes.

"These are amazing," he pronounces. "But you know I loved what you looked like before."

"I know," I breathe. I feel his lips on my neck, and instinctively I throw my head back. He knows exactly the spot on my neck that sends me over the edge. "Christian I want you inside me."

"We have all weekend remember," he breathes against my neck and I nearly come on the spot.

I wake up naked lying on Christian's chest and the feeling is amazing. I have to readjust to my new breasts as they are a bit bigger than the last time I fell asleep on his chest.

"Don't you dare get up," Christian growls and I know he's awake.

"I just have to move. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm perfect just as I am."

"How are you feeling this morning," he asks wrapping his arms around me. I can feel his cock twitch under my stomach.

"A little sore but really hungry," I admit. I glance at the clock and see that it's nearly noon. We didn't fall asleep until after three. Christian said that he wanted to make up for lost time, and I don't think my body can take anymore at least for a few more hours.

"Well, how about I make you breakfast," Christian suggests. I give him a look that says we both know better.

"How about you stay here and I make you breakfast in bed," I ask as I pull myself out of his arms, grab one of his t-shirts and throw it on.

"You are a sight Miss Steele," Christian says sitting up and putting his hands behind his head.

"Any special requests."

"Not about food, so surprise me."

I walk out the door and throw him a look that leaves him wanting more.

"Oh you are in so much trouble."

I giggle all the way into the kitchen.

I hit the remote the on stereo and start making breakfast.

I decide to go for a very hearty breakfast as we won't be eating again until tonight's dinner with Mia and hopefully Luke. I still need to find a way to make my plan work, but I'm determined that it's going to work and Christian will not be mad even if it means I will be his sex slave for the rest of my life. I'm totally fine with that.

Between the music and the mood I'm in this morning, I'm dancing all over the kitchen. I haven't truly been this happy in a very long time, and it feels so good.

"Do you have any idea how long I could stare at you while you do that."

I look over and spy Christian sitting at the breakfast bar and I blow him a kiss.

"We need to do this more often," he suggests. That reminds me about when he told me that his subs used to cook for him on the weekends.

"I'm not a sub if you can recall." I say with a slight attitude.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. What I thought is that we could dismiss the staff for the weekends and it could just be you and I. Plus I think Gail and Taylor would like it."

"We just can't send them on vacation every weekend, but if we want to continue this they can't be in the staff quarters either."

"Well when our house is done, they will have their own freestanding house. Can you hold out for another month?"

"What? I was just at the house the other day and there is no way we can move in next month."

"If you can promise me more weekends like this, I will pay whatever it takes to get the house finished."

"You are very cute this morning Mr. Grey."

"Not as cute as you."

We feast on buttermilk pancakes from scratch, scrambled eggs, bacon and the most delectable fresh fruit. I am so glad that I went grocery shopping with Gail yesterday. I think I could get used to cooking for my man. I don't know what it is, but I feel like more a woman through my prehistoric notion.

"This is amazing," Christian says practically licking his plate clean.

"As good as Gail's," I ask this very dangerous question.

"Don't tell her, but yes."

"Right answer" I say as I rip my t-shirt off and walk back to our bedroom. "I'm waiting Mr. Grey."

That's when I hear him start running down the hall.

Three more earth showering orgasms later, I wake up from a fabulous sex nap and see that's its five.

Shit, we are going to be late if I don't get up now and get ready.

Christian is still sleeping when I peel myself away and start a shower.

"Why did you leave?" My sexy fiancé says opening the shower door as he comes in.

"No touching mister," I say as I finish washing the conditioner out of my hair.

"Why not," he asks pouting.

"Because we have a dinner date and I need to get ready and so do you."

"I thought we had the weekend all to ourselves, and I was going to have you naked?"

"We will, but Mia has a big date tonight and she was nervous and wanted some morale support."

That's a bold face lie, and there is no way Christian is going to believe me.

"Who is this date of hers?"

"I don't know some guy."

I walk out of the bathroom and select one of my new dresses.

"Fuck, there is no way, I can let you out of the house looking like that," Christian growls.

"It's just a few hours and then I will be all yours."

"Anything goes?"

I wonder what he has in mind, but I nod and smile.

Sawyer arrives looking very handsome and ready for his date. Christian is still in his office so I fill him in on my plan.

I can tell that he's nervous, and it's quite adorable.

We arrive early after I texted Mia the plan. There was no way I could risk calling her today.

We have a drink in the bar before we see Mia Grey arrive. Wow, she looks incredible in her ivory skin tight dress. I see Sawyer looking at her, and I can tell that he likes what he sees.

"Mia, what's wrong," I ask setting my plan in action.

"My date cancelled on me right before I got here," she says and that's got Christian's attention.

"I'm sorry Mia. Do you still want to do this tonight?" he asks, and there is no way I'm going to let him out of tonight.

"She can't eat alone, that's no fun. Hey Luke come over here," I say and motion for him to come over to us. He walks over and braces for the wrath of Christian Grey when he finds out what I have in store.

I see Mia finally take her in real date and she looks pleased as well. The sexual tension in this room is amazing, and surprisingly it's not coming from Christian and I this time.

"Would you like to join us for dinner?" I ask. Christian doesn't even seem to be paying attention as he's on his phone, probably sending an email.

"If it's okay with Mr. Grey."

"Christian?" I ask trying to get his attention.

"Yes, that's fine."

We are shown to Christian's private table and he proceeds to order a bottle of Bollinger.

We make small talk and I can really see the dynamic between Mia and Luke. They are the perfect couple. I hope this works out between them.

After dessert, Mia and I excuse ourselves to the bathroom so we can catch up.

"Oh Ana, I really like him. What do you think he thinks?"

"Well, that's the most I've ever heard Sawyer talk since I met him, so that has to be a good sign," I say reapplying my lipstick.

"So what I am supposed to do now?"

I guess I didn't think about that fact, shit.

"Let's play it by ear."

When we come back to the table I see that Christian is deep in conversation with Sawyer, but Luke is holding his own.

"You know, I'm really tired," I say as I finish my last glass of Bollinger. I give Christian a look and he motions for our check.

"I've asked Sawyer to take Mia home since she took a car service here, and White is on his way to come pick us up."

White? Who the hell is White? I've never heard that name before. Does Christian have security on back up?"

I watch Mia and her face practically lights up.

We all walk downstairs and Sawyer helps Mia into the front seat of the car.

"Goodnight," Christian says as he helps me into our car.

"I had a very nice night," I say as I lean my head on his shoulder.

"So you're little plan worked tonight just like you wanted?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Anastasia Rose Steele, I can smell a set-up from miles away. Did you really think I wasn't going to figure it out?"

There's no point in playing dumb any longer.

"You caught me. Mia has a little crush on Sawyer, and I didn't know how you would react so I come up with this plan."

"Am I really that terrible?"

Oh no, did I hurt his feelings?

"No, I just know how you feel about me interacting with staff, so I didn't think you would want Luke going out with Mia."

"When you and my little sister went to the ladies' room to obviously chat about us, I had my own little chat with Luke and he admitted to everything. I did what any good big brother would do, and I asked him about his intentions with my sister. After being satisfied with his answer, I decided that she needed to end the date just the two of them."

"You are one amazing man Christian Grey," I say as I unbuckle my seatbelt and jump on his lap. I hit the button to raise the security glass.

"As much as I would love to take you right here and now, hold this thought for five minute and I promise to make it all worth your while."


	9. Chapter 9

**_Christian POV_**

I'm not happy about my sister's little crush on a member of my security team, but it's Mia and I have never been able to stop her so why would I now. At first, I was tempted to fire Sawyer on the spot, but he has been so great for Ana and I know she really trusts him but he better tread lightly. After White drops us off at Escala, I have a little conversation with Taylor and instruct him to take a drive by Mia's apartment to see what the situation is.

We've been home for a total of 26 minutes, and still there is no sign of Sawyer.

"Christian, please stop and come to bed. I'm naked and waiting for you," Ana calls out from our bedroom as I wait for Sawyer in the foyer.

Fuck, as much as I want Anastasia, I need to know that Sawyer is not fucking my little sister.

I call Taylor again and he tells me there is still no movement at Mia's apartment, and my SUV is still parked in the driveway.

I check my phone again and Ana has texted me. I guess she gave up yelling for me

Ana: If you don't come to bed and fuck me right now, I'm off limits until further notice.

Shit, what the hell am I supposed to do?

Christian: Five more minutes

Ana: NO, I want you to strip down and march back to our room so I can have a proper fucking. I'm horny and I need you. Mia is fine, get over it.

She has a point. I slip out of my shoes and take of my clothes, leaving them where they are. I streak down the hallway; hopefully Gail will decide not to come out for any reason. I know she's seen me naked before, but never with an erection.

I walk into my room and lock the door. I find Ana propped up against the headboard with her legs spread eagle and she is teasing me by rubbing her wet center.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm horny Christian and you weren't here," she says looking at me with those sexy eyes.

"Need a hand?"

"A mouth would be better," she says as she removes her fingers and slides them into her mouth and sucks hard.

Fuck that is so hot.

I'm on the bed and in between her creamy thighs in no time.

I thrust my tongue into her and she bucks her hips in response. I grip her hips to hold her in place.

"Oh Christian, I need you to fuck me," she pants as I continue my assault on her with my tongue and then I had a finger into the mix. "I want you to come right here for me baby. I want to watch you come."

I add a second finger and I nearly combust as her body explodes. I lap up every drop of her release.

"That was mighty fine Miss Steele, and just think I almost missed it. My apologies."

"What about my proper fucking?"

"I'm nowhere near finished with you, baby. I owe you a proper fucking, and that's what I intend to do."

**_Mia POV_**

I have never been this nervous with any guy before. It's not like I'm a virgin, but I'm not a whore either. There's something about Luke Sawyer that gets me all in a tizzy. I couldn't stop staring at him throughout dinner, and I couldn't believe Christian encouraged him to escort me home. We exchanged some idle chit chat during the short drive, and if I didn't know any better I would say he was just as nervous as me.

"Can you not think about my brother? He's not here, remember?" I ask. He turns and looks at me and smiles.

"I'm not thinking about your brother aka my boss," he says, but I know he's lying.

"You're off the clock, and I don't care what my brother told you."

Now, I'm getting bold. I had an amazing first date with Luke. What I really want is to get him naked and have him make me scream his name for a few hours, but I don't know what he's thinking. The last thing I want is for him to think I'm easy. I just wish that he would give me a clue as to what he's feeling.

"Mia, you are really making this difficult for me, you know that right?"

Ah ha, he's definitely interested. Now, I'm going to make him work for it. Checkmate.

"Would you like to come in for a glass of wine or a beer?"

"As much as I would like to, I'm driving remember?"

Shit, score one for Mr. Sawyer.

"Coffee perhaps."

I look at him and can see the internal struggle going on in his brain.

"Another time perhaps," he says as he comes over to open my door.

As he walks me up to my door, it's now or never.

"Luke, I had a really nice time tonight," I say as I put my key into the lock.

"Would it be too much to ask if I can take you out again, just the two of us?"

"I would like that very much."

Now we are just standing here looking at each other. It's the most awkward moment. Why won't he kiss me?

"Well, goodnight," I say and close the door.

I go straight to my room and change, but not before I call my brother and of course it goes straight to voicemail.

"Well, Christian, I hope that you're happy. I don't know what you said to Luke, but don't worry he didn't make a move or even kiss me goodnight. Thanks to you. I really like him Christian and you scared him off. If so, I will never talk to you ever again, and this time I mean it."

I'm so angry right now. I would have thought Christian would have been more sympathetic because he has truly become a new person since Ana came into his life. I think that Christian still thinks of me as a little girl and not a grown woman. Hell, I'm older than Ana; only by a few months but still. He's going to get a piece of my mind when I see him. If I didn't love Ana, I would march my ass over to Escala right now and chew him out.

Instead, I'm going to take a bubble bath to try to take my mind off of how much I want Sawyer. I turn down the lights, turn on the gas fireplace, and turn on my iPod. I've just submerged my whole body into the lavender scented bubbles when I hear the doorbell. Fuck what now? Maybe it's Christian and he's come over to apologize. I wrap a small towel around me and open the front door. I nearly drop my towel when I see who's standing at my door.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to do this," Luke says as he grabs my face and crushes his glorious lips to mine.

Man, he knows how to kiss. I don't think I've ever been kissed like this before. I reach up and put my hands behind his head, and really throw myself into the kiss forgetting about my towel. I feel my towel slipping down, but I don't care, I'm not stopping this kiss. I feel my whole body on fire.

It doesn't take long before Luke notices that my towel is now at my feet.

I see him look down and ogle my body. I must admit, I look pretty damn good naked. That's what working out everyday does for you.

"Would you like to stay," I say unembarrassed at my current state of nakedness.

"I should say no, but I want to," he says and I start to pull his coat off. He surprises me by picking me up and grabbing a hold of my ass.

"Where's your bedroom," he says as I bring his lips back to mine.

"Last door on your right," I say and squeeze my legs as tight as I can while I try to unbutton his shirt.

"Do you have any idea how much I wanted you the moment you walked into the restaurant tonight?"

"Not as much as I want you."

"I doubt that," he says. I twist and push my door open, and he lays me down on the bed. I'm right back up onto my knees feverishly pulling down his pants and boxers to reveal him in all his full glory.

Shit, I knew he would be big, but not like this.

"You like what you see?"

"I sure do," I reply as I start to stroke him with my hand while he removes his undershirt.

I look up and see his eyes closed and I can tell he is really enjoying this. I decide to take him by surprise and change my position so that I can take him into my mouth as I grab his tight ass. Oh what a glorious ass it is.

"Fuck," he says running his gentle yet firm hands through my hair.

I slide my tongue up and down his shaft and then I feel Luke start to move my head with every movement when suddenly he stops.

"Mia, stop. I don't want to come like this."

"Are you ready to fuck me?" I say as I scoot back on the bed.

"The question is are you ready for me?"

"I guess we will just have to see."

**_Sawyer POV_**

I never thought in a million years that I would be here in Mia Grey's bed by the end of the night. All throughout dinner, I couldn't stop staring at her; she looked so beautiful in that dress. I can't believe that this stunning woman wanted to go out to dinner with me.

Now, here I lay with the most gorgeous woman lying on my chest and there is no better place to be. I'm exhausted, Mia has taught me a lot in the few short hours we have been together. It doesn't hurt that she was a competitive gymnast for 15 years.

I hear the faint buzzing of my phone in my pants pocket and wonder if I will still have a job when I show up to work in a few hours. But after a night like this, I can always find a new job. There is no other woman that I want.

I finally fall asleep around three, and then I'm up again at five to report to work.

"Mia," I say and kiss the top of her head.

"It's still dark out; you're not sneaking away are you?" She says and giggles when she sees the clock.

"I have to get ready to go to work."

"I think your boss will understand."

"Let's you and I not push your luck with Mr. Grey. If I'm lucky I might still have a job after today. I wouldn't be surprised if he had Taylor watching me all night to see if I stayed."

"Can I shower with you?" She asks after she rolls off of me and lies on her stomach staring at my backside.

I turn my head and look at her and say, "There's no better way I would want to start my day."

**_Christian POV_**

By six, I'm up and ready to go out for my run, and I'm surprised to find Sawyer not Taylor dressed and ready to go.

I say nothing to him until we are in the elevator.

"I hope you enjoyed your night with Mia," I say as I try to keep my composure.

"I know you know that I spent the night, but I'm not going to apologize. If that costs me this job then so be it."

"I am going to say this once. If you hurt my sister, I will make sure that you never work again. Do you hear me?"

"Yes sir," he says and then off we go.

Little does Sawyer know that Ana told me if I did anything to ruin whatever relationship they have, I would be sleeping alone in the guest room.

I really make Sawyer work today as we run 10 miles. He knows that I'm punishing him for fucking my sister, and this is the only way I can make him pay for what he did with Mia.

As we make the final turn toward Escala my cell phone starts to go off. I look and see that it's Mia.

"Grey," I answer coldly so Sawyer doesn't know who is on the other line.

"Does Luke still have a job?"

"Yes."

"Is he there with you right now?"

"Yes."

"I hope you got my voicemail last night."

"I did, so I guess your little threat is null and void."

"For now, but mark my words Christian Trevelyan Grey, I really like Luke and I think he likes me. So please don't do anything that changes that, okay?"

"Agreed."

"Did Ana have anything to do with your reasons?"

"Partially."

"That's what I thought. Now please say hi to Luke for me and play nice."

"Mia says hi."


	10. Chapter 10

**_Ana POV_**

We rang in the New Year in our brand new house, and what a grand time we had to celebrate. All of our friends and family were there and it was just a magical night. As I drink my coffee this morning, I can't help but be amazed about what has all transpired in the last seven months. And then to think in less than five months, I will be Mrs. Christian Grey. Who would have thought?

Christian is off to Hong Kong for the week and he insisted that I accompany him. As much as I would have love too, I am so far behind at work and still trying to catch up. This is the longest that I've ever been without him, and he's only been gone for less than 48 hours. I miss him terribly. I regret not going with him, but I need to concentrate on work and start working on donors for this year's Coping Together Gala.

My goal for Coping Together is to double what we raised last year without Christian's donation, and I know it will be a daunting task. Not to mention trying to plan a wedding on top of that.

On my way out the door, I catch my reflection in the mirror and my hair is really starting to grow in more evenly now, and less in patches. I reach up and touch my hair. The reason why I delayed our wedding was because I was scared of what I looked like, surprisingly I really like having short hair. It's sassy and to be quite honest it's so much easier to take care of.

The next four days drag by. With the time change and Christian's busy work schedule we've barley had five minutes to talk, and I'm desperate for him to come home. Three more days, that's all that gets me through the day.

When I wake up in the morning, I'm warmer than normal. I open my eyes to find arms encircling me, and instantly I panic. I turn my head and when I see that face I relax.

"Good morning beautiful," he raspy says.

"What are you doing here? I didn't expect you until late Saturday night."

I look over, and he's under the covers wearing nothing.

"I couldn't bear to be without you for another minute so I worked through the night to broker the deal, and here I am. Now you are wearing far too many clothes of my liking."

I push on Christian's chest. I have to say this to him now or I won't have the courage to in a few minutes.

"About the wedding," I say and I see the look of panic flash.

"You're not calling it off are you?"

"Oh no, I was thinking if you were okay with it, I would like to push it up a few weeks even months."

He takes my face into his hands to try to read my face.

"What are you saying?"

"After you being gone, I realized that I don't need to wait any longer to marry you. I love you and want to marry you now. I mean if that's okay with you."

"Okay with me? How about we get married tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?"

"That's if you really love me," he says and as crushes his lips to mine.

"Tomorrow it is," I say.

For the next two hours, Christian makes love to me while loving every inch of my body.

After we shower together, I give Christian the go ahead to plan our very intimate wedding with just our family and very close friends.

I call my dad and tell him about our plans and ask him to give me away. He says he can't wait until tomorrow.

We decide to head over to the Grey's to tell them the good news. I can't get a hold of Mia so I guess I will just have to tell my Maid of Honor later.

When we walk out to the car, I see Mia sneaking down the stairs from Sawyer's apartment.

"Mia Grey," Christian calls out and I know she wasn't expecting to see him home early.

"You weren't supposed to be home until Sunday," she says trying to fix her hair, but she can't fool us, we know what they have been up to.

Ever since their date at the Mile High Club, Mia and Sawyer have been inseparable. They are so cute together, and I think slowly Christian has come to accept that fact.

"Well, it would appear that I'm home early. Can we give you a lift to mom and dad's as I don't see your car anywhere?"

"Thanks. What's up," she asks hopping in and winking at Sawyer who is already in the driver's seat. Christian gave Taylor some time alone with Gail following their trip to Hong Kong.

"Oh no, you will just have to wait to hear our new when we get there," he says as Mia whips her head in my direction.

"Are you pregnant?" She whispers to me and I laugh.

"No Mia, she's not pregnant," Christian says after eavesdropping, and I can't but laugh even harder.

I can barely contain my excitement as we get to Carrick and Grace's.

"Ana, Christian, Mia what are you all doing here?" Grace asks when she opens the door to find us all on the front step.

"We're getting married," I announce as Christian takes my hand and squeezes it before kissing my cheek.

"I know that dear," Grace replies.

"I mean tomorrow, and we would love for you to be there."

"Carrick, will you please come out here?" She yells back into the house. "Where is this wedding going to happen?"

"We haven't quite decided that yet. All we know is that we want to get married tomorrow."

"Vegas. Definitely Vegas," Mia pipes in.

"No way. I will not marry Anastasia in Vegas. I want a proper wedding," Christian says and we all start laughing.

"You know, the offer still stands to get married right here. It's supposed to be sunny tomorrow; so what do you think?"

Christian and I look at each other and we both smile.

"Grace, we were hoping you would offer," I say as I hug her. "Now, we want it small. Just our family, but I'm not inviting my mother. Ray is coming up tonight to stay with us."

"We have so much to do Ana. We need to go get your dress," Mia says pulling my back down to the car.

"Umm, I guess I will see you later," I say as I blow a kiss to Christian, who is being left at his parents' house.

Three hours, and about a half dozen bridal salons later, I finally find my dress.

"Ana, it's perfect. I can't believe it. This dress was meant for you," Mia says as I turn around to see the beautiful lace detail on the back.

"You don't think it's too much?"

"Absolutely not!"

For a small intimate wedding, I thought about a very simple white dress. Instead I find a winter wonderland Maggie Sotterro dress. It is Alencon lace over Romance Satin fit and flare, with a plunging V-neckline. It is complete with illusion short sleeves, a grosgrain ribbon belt with sparkling Swarovski crystals, and finished with alluring open back and signature corset closure.

The moment I put the dress on, I knew it was mine. I guess I just needed Mia's approval that it was the one.

"Christian is going to die when he sees you in this dress," she says as she picks out my shoes. She also picks out her Maid of Honor dress that is a floor length navy silk gown.

"What would I do without you Mia?"

"Obviously you wouldn't, and that's why I'm your Maid of Honor."

After we leave the salon, I call Christian. I find out that while we've been out, he and his mother have asked their family priest Father Michael to officiate, and they have my flowers ordered. Grace asked her favorite caterer to prepare us the best wedding meal and they are going to also make our wedding cake.

I can't believe that they have planned an entire wedding in less than three hours. Why didn't I suggest that Christian and I get married weeks ago?

We arrive back at the Grey's with my father in tow; this time for dinner. I'm surprised when I see a woman with Elliott.

"Who is that?" I whisper into Christian's ear and I take him by surprise.

"Her name is Kate Kavanugh and they are officially dating," he says kissing my cheek.

Elliott Grey has a girlfriend. Who would have thought? In the very short time Christian and I have been together and he's never brought a girl to the Grey's for dinner.

"Is it serious?" I ask peeking in the other room and he's holding her hand.

"I'm not sure but I've never seen him like this ever," he says. This time we both look into the room.

All throughout dinner, all of us are fixated watching the soap opera that is playing out right in front of our faces.

Elliott Grey is in love and it's too cute.

"So are you like boyfriend/girlfriend," Mia finally asks the million dollar question that no one else has the balls to ask. Poor Sawyer he looks mortified, but I think he's used to Mia just speaking her mind.

We watch Elliott and Kate both look at each other and smile and then turn to us. We all know the answer before either of them utter a single word.

As the men head out to the patio for Whiskey and cigars to celebrate our upcoming nuptials and with Grace upstairs finalizing details for tomorrow's big day, Mia and I are left alone with Kate. I hope she's ready for the inquisition that is Mia Grey.

"So Kate, how did you meet my brother," she asks starting off with an easy question.

"I actually interviewed him about his company being the most eco-friendly construction company in Seattle, and then he wouldn't leave me along until I agreed to go on one date with him. We've been together ever since," she says with such confidence.

"And that was a few days ago?" Mia asks.

"Try two months."

"Two months!"

I don't know how Elliott has been able to keep this a secret for two months. I can't wait to hear more about Elliott's love life, but I can't stop thinking that in less than 24 hours from now, I will be Mrs. Christian Grey.

**_Christian POV_**

"How come you have been hiding the lovely Miss Kavanaugh from us all this time?" I ask my older brother.

"I just didn't want to jinx it. I really like Kate and I think she likes me. In fact she just agreed to move in with me."

Who is this man sitting in front of me? It can't be my brother who has been rumored to have slept with half of the women in Seattle.

My dad and I just look at him in disbelief.

"I love her," he admits, and I can see it in his eyes that he believes it. "Would you mind if I bring her to the wedding tomorrow as my date?"

"Do you even have to ask? You just admitted that you love the woman that is about 100 feet away, of course she can come. My best man does need to have a date for his younger brother's wedding."

"Thanks bro," he says and slaps me on the back.

**_Ana POV_**

When the men remerge, Christian pulls me away before Mia and I head to The Fairmont for my bachelorette party.

"I'm going to miss you," he says taking my face into his hands staring deep into my eye.

"There is no way Mia is going to let me out of girls' night, plus its bad luck to see the bride before I walk down the aisle."

"Fine," he pouts. Every time he does that I'm instantly turned on. "I'm going to be thinking about you. So, what does my little sister have planned for your Bachelorette Party?"

"Wouldn't you like to know Christian," Mia says.

"I trust you and, I mean the both of you." He says throwing Mia a warning look that would scare the hell out of me, but Mia just laughs him off.

"Just relax Christian, go out with Elliott and take Sawyer with you."

"No way. Sawyer is Ana's security, and he will be stuck to the both of you for whatever your plan is tonight."

"Fine, only if you promise to not check up on us with Sawyer."

"Deal," he says. Why do I feel that these two have just brokered a business deal concerning my Bachelorette Party?"

Christian finally lets us go and Sawyer takes us to The Fairmont where my party awaits.

We enter the Presidential Suite that Mia and I supposed Christian arranged, and it's fully decorated. On the couch are two pairs of pajamas. One in white with the word bride on the back.

"Mia, what exactly are we doing tonight?"

"It's just going to be you and me, a few bottles of wine and our favorite chick flicks."

And this is why I love Mia. This is exactly what I wanted to do on my last night as Ana Steele.

We quickly change and I have Sawyer take a photo of us with our bridal jammies and send it over to Christian so he knows just what we're up to tonight.

"Now Mia, I don't want to be hung-over so I think I can only have one more glass of wine," I say after my third glass.

Poor Sawyer, he looks so bored as he just watches us.

"Sawyer would you like a drink?

I see from his face that he's desperate for an adult beverage. Of course he will refuse because he's still on the clock, and there's nothing Mia can do or say to change his mind.

"I'm fine, but thank you."

After finishing our third bottle of wine, Mia and I hop into bed and Sawyer takes the guest room.

"Mia, you don't have to stay with me. I saw the look you were giving Luke, go be with him."

"No way, this is your night."

"Mia I insist. Tonight has been great, but I would like to be alone."

"Is everything okay? You're not getting cold feet are you?"

"No, I can't wait to marry Christian. I just can't take you snoring, and I would like to get a few hours of sleep."

"Who me? I don't snore."

"Remember I was your roommate, and you've been drinking so I know what I'm in store for."

Mia skips out of the room turning to stick her tongue out at me before going into her boyfriend's room.

I snuggle into bed and think about my life and where I would be if it weren't for Christian Grey. I love this man and I can't wait to be his wife.


	11. Chapter 11

**_I want to warn everything that you might find a few grammar errors in my story. i leave for vacation tomorrow and I wanted to get another chapter posted. I am looking for a new editor so please don't mind the errors. I hope you enjoy the story._**

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**_Christian POV_**

I couldn't sleep all night, I missed having Ana in my bed, my only comfort was the photo that Sawyer texted me around midnight that showed her in her bride pajamas so I felt a little relieved that they weren't spending their evening with strippers or other men at some seedy bar.

Elliott tried to make me feel bad that I didn't want to go out for my last night of being America's most eligible bachelor, but I didn't want to go, all I wanted was my Ana in my bed.

Instead I spent my night working and finalizing the details of our surprise honeymoon. I spoke with Ros and she has everything under control at GEH and told me to just relax and enjoy my trip. I've never really been on an extended trip when work wasn't involved and I really don't know to relax so hopefully Ana can show me how. I hope she likes my surprise.

It's just after two, when I hear a commotion in the foyer and Taylor is nowhere. I walk down the hall only to find Elena dressed in one of her Dom outfits eyeing me up and down as all I'm wearing is a pair of boxer shorts.

"I just heard the news," she says with a look that actually puts fear in my eyes. I haven't seen the woman in months and then she shows up now of all nights in my home. What does she think is going to happen?

"You should leave now before I have Taylor escort you out," I growl.

"You can't marry her," she slurs.

"Watch me."

"She doesn't know about us and your past, she can't be enough for you. I am all what you need baby."

"Anastasia knows everything including my past with you and by some miracle she loves me, faults and all."

When I spit the words at her she backs down. She knows that she has lost and she's scrambling to find a way to wound me, but I won't let her.

"I said leave now."

And just then Taylor runs down the hall with gun in hand and pointed right at her head.

"Fine, I'll leave, but mark my words one day you will come crawling back to me."

"Not a chance in hell will that ever happen."

"Mrs. Lincoln, Mr. Grey has asked you to leave twice now and if you don't follow his wishes I will forcibly remove you," Taylor snarls.

"I'm leaving."

"Sir, are you all right?"

"Never better," I say and walk back to my bedroom and get into bed.

Finally, I think that chapter of my life is officially closed. Elena and I really never ended our personal relationship when Ana and I started dating but after her little stunt it's over. I decide to sever all my ties with her and I will inform Ros to take my name off of anything I have shared with her.

I think I actually slept six hours in a row, I can't recall ever doing that without Anastasia by my side. I feel like a new man.

I get out of bed and come out to a breakfast of champions. I think Gail is more excited about my wedding than I am. She has been buzzing around the house in such a good mood and I look over at Taylor who has this dopey grin on his face.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" I ask pouring myself a cup of coffee.

"Shall we tell him Jason?"

"Might as well, he will find out sooner or later."

What the fuck is going on?

"Jason proposed this morning?" Gail says holding up her left hand to reveal a beautiful engagement ring.

"Congratulations you two, it's about damn time," I say and hug Gail.

"Well, it's thanks to you, but mostly Ana," Gail says placing a few extra pieces of bacon on my plate.

"Pardon me?"

"Taylor has been asking me for over a year to marry him and this morning I finally told him yes."

After breakfast, Taylor comes with me for a run and I have to get to the bottom of this.

"So what's the real story Taylor," I ask after he hit mile three.

"What do you mean sir?"

"You know exactly what I mean, why do you think Gail finally agreed to marry you."

"It's because of you sir. After Gail heard that you and Ana were going to be married today I think she finally could feel that you were in the right place and that she could devote her entire self to me. So I guess I owe you a big thank you."

I head over to my parents around five and I get changed in my old childhood bedroom. It feels so strange to be in this room getting ready for my wedding.

"They've arrived," I hear my mother call out and then I hear her voice. She's laughing and I want nothing more to see my beautiful bride but know in just a few minutes I will.

Elliott comes and collects me a few minutes later after Ana is safely tucked away I assume and then we walk downstairs and outside to the lawn overlooking the sound. Mom and dad are already seated as well as Ros and her partner, Jason and Gail and Kate.

I take my place with my best man alongside me and I look over and see the string quartet begin to play. Mia emerges from the patio first and she looks beautiful. After she walks up the aisle she comes over and hugs and kisses my cheek.

Then I see her escorted by her father flanked by Sawyer. Remind me to give him a raise.

She is breathtaking. I can't take my eyes off of her the whole time as she walks to me.

Finally, she makes her way to me and I shake Ray's hand and he hands her over to me.

"You look so beautiful," I say as we take our places in front of Father Michael. I don't see anyone except for my Anastasia.

We recite our own vows and I get choked up that I almost can't make it through them and then to hear Ana's read hers I lose it especially she says that if it weren't for me she didn't know if she would make it, I squeeze her hand.

Father Michael declares us husband and wife and I look into her eyes and kiss her like the world is going to end tomorrow.

"I love you so much."

**_Ana POV_**

Today has been a blur. I don't even remember getting pampered as Christian arranged for the spa to come to us in our hotel room after an amazing breakfast.

When my dad showed up before I got my dress on, he suggested that at least I call my mom before the wedding so she doesn't find out from the tabloids.

"Dad, this is my wedding and I don't want to ruin it by talking to mom," I say.

"It's up to you," he says. He knows me and decides not to push it.

Mia helps me put on my dress and I feel like a princess.

I emerge from my room to find my father dressed in a tux and I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Oh Annie, you look beautiful," he says when I hug him.

"You don't look bad yourself daddy."

"You ready to get married?"

"I've never been more ready."

We arrive at the Grey's with a few minutes to spare and all I want to do is see Christian and tell him how happy I am and I can't wait to marry him.

I'm left alone and I start to get nervous when I hear the music begin to play.

My dad knocks on the door and asks if I'm ready and I take his hand and we talk outside. I see Sawyer standing by the back door and she smiles.

"Mr. Grey is one lucky man," he says and I can't help but hug him and kiss his cheek.

As we walk outside that's when I see him in all of his beauty waiting for me.

I can't fight the tears anymore that are streaking down my face.

Christian takes my hand and we stand in front of our family and friends to commit our love and lives as one.

"You look so beautiful," he says and I can't seem to find my words so I just smile.

I wasn't quite sure when Christian suggested that we write our own vows, but around three this morning, I was able to find just the perfect words to express just how I feel about the man that is standing in front of me.

Christian's vows are beautiful and he wipes my tears after he finishes. Now, it's my turn. How in the hell am I supposed to top that. I take a deep breath and the look into his eyes.

"Christian, today I begin a new chapter of my life with you as my husband and I couldn't be happier. I knew I loved you when you first touched my hand and then for you to tell me that you loved me too was amazing. Then when I got sick you stuck with me even after I left and I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you more every day and I'm grateful that you are part of my life and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us."

I know my words don't quite compare to his but it was straight from my heart.

We exchange rings and then Father Michael pronounces us husband and wife and I can't believe it, we are married.

"I love you so much," Christian says before he takes my face in his hands and kisses me. I feel my heart stop as he deepens the kiss. I don't care who is watching. All I know is this man is mine for as long as I live.

Our wedding is truly magical. After the ceremony, my make-up is retouched and after an hour or so of photographs we are treated to a beautiful meal. Our guests each give a toast and I'm crying at each and every one of them. For Elliott's toast I cry because I was laughing so hard. I look over at Christian and I don't know whether he wants to kick his brother's ass for the stories he's sharing or what his touching message to his brother. But after Elliott finishes, he surprises us all but hugging his brother for a long time.

We end the evening by thanking all of our guests and then Taylor is there to escort us back to The Fairmont for our wedding night.

"So, Mrs. Grey, can I throw a wedding or what," He says kissing me in the privacy of our car.

"You can Mr. Grey, now that you have me alone; whatever are you going to do with me?"

He looks at me with hunger and desire in his eyes.

"Oh I can think of a few things," He says slipping his hand under my dress until he reaches his final destination. "By the way, you haven't asked about where we are going for our honeymoon."

"Honeymoon, I just assumed that this was it."

"You have underestimated me Mrs. Grey. Tomorrow morning we board the GEH jet to fly to Europe for three weeks.

"Europe?"

"We start in London and from there it's just call," he says and I jump on his lap and take his lips by surprise.

We barely make it up to our room with my dress still in one piece. By the time we get through the door, Christian has ripped my dress off and I mean literally from the seams.

"I loved that dress," I say as the two pieces float to the ground.

"Fuck, I will buy you another one if that will make you happy."

I jump into Christian's arms and wrap my legs around his waist as he makes it into our room that someone has decorated with candles and flowers.

"You are all mine Mrs. Grey," he says as he lays me down on the bed and runs his hands up my legs to remove my bride white thong. "You are a mighty fine sight."

I may nearly combust at just his touch.

"I'm going to make you scream my name over and over again," he growls before crushing his lips to mine.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Sorry about all the errors, trying to edit myself has been quite daunting so I apologize in advance. I am still looking for a new editor if anyone is interested. Please PM if you are up for the job!_**

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**_Seven Months Later_**

**_Ana POV_**

I walked into Dr. Warren's office extremely nervous but with Christian holding my hand I know whatever he has to say I'm ready for.

"Everyone is going to be all right," Christian reassures me as we wait in the office.

"I hope your right," I say trying to keep my voice from shaking.

Finally, Dr. Warren comes in and sits down opening my massive folder.

"Well, let's just get on with it. All of your scans and tests came back negative, no sign that the cancer has returned," he says and finally I can breathe a sigh of relief. Christian kisses me cheek and I don't know whether to scream or cry.

"Thank you so much, you have made my whole day, month even," I say and I can't stop smiling.

"However, there was one test that wasn't negative that we need to discuss."

I immediately think the worst.

"Okay, I can handle it. Just tell me."

"Well, you're pregnant."

Pregnant, I wasn't expecting that.

I look at Christian and he just looks at me for what seems like an eternity and then he smiles.

"Are you sure," he asks.

"Quite sure, now I arranged for Dr. Warren to exam you?"

"Excuse me, you?"

"Oh no, I'm sorry, I should have told you that my wife Melissa is an OBGYN whose office is just down the hall and is expecting you. But first, I want you to know the risks to your body if you continue with this pregnancy."

"Risks, what kind of risks, Ana is cancer free right now;" Christian says bursting my little bubble of happiness.

"Yes, she is cancer-free but with the additional hormones and her compromised immune system there is a possibility that the cancer could return and combine with being pregnant proves tough with treatment as it will have negative effects on the baby. I know my wife will tell you a little more but I think the two of you need to decide if you want to progress with the pregnancy."

I don't remember even walking down the hall or even putting on the paper gown before the other Dr. Warren comes in and tells me about what she is about to do.

"Ana, please say something you're scaring me," Christian says.

"We're going to have the baby I don't care about the risks. I want this baby more than anything," I say and the tears start to fall.

"Are you sure?" Christian says looking into my eyes.

"And there is your baby right there," Dr. Warren points to the screen next to me. "It looks like you are about six or seven weeks pregnant."

"I love you so much baby," Christian says kissing my lips. "Does everything look okay with the baby?"

"Everything looks good, but I need to explain to you the risks," she said.

Dr. Warren tells us that about what risks to my body this pregnancy could bring. Although I listen to everything she has to say, all I can do is look at that most precious creature on the screen and know that it was created out of the love that Christian and I have and there is no way I could end its life to save my own. I wouldn't be able to live with myself and I might as well be dead.

"Are you okay with my decision about keeping the baby," I ask and I touch the screen.

"I don't want anything to happen to you, I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to you again, but this baby, you have given me the best gift in the whole world," Christian says.

"So I take you that you're happy?"

"I couldn't be happier."

"We haven't even talked about having a baby, I mean…" Christian cuts me off.

"It doesn't matter, you're having a baby now," he says and places his hand on my stomach and then kisses me.

As we walk out to the car I can't wipe smile from my lips.

"I didn't mean to overhear but congratulations on the baby," Taylor says.

"Thank you, Jason that means so much."

"Children are such a blessing, I love my little Sophie and I have her back in my life because of you and Christian," he says.

After we came back from our honeymoon we surprised Jason and Gail with a wedding and even had Sophie surprise him on his big day.

I just fell in love with that little girl and I could tell just how much that Jason needed his little girl so Christian and I worked out a deal with his ex so that she could come and live with them. It's been the best thing to have Sophie with us and I can't wait to add our baby to our big happy family.

When we arrive home, Christian tells me to wait in the car and then my door opens and it's Christian who scoops me up into his arms.

"What are you doing Christian, please put me down," I squeal.

"Now way, I need to treat the mother of my child with kid gloves," he says.

"Christian, I'm pregnant not dying," I say almost regretting my choice of words and I watch Christian's face change.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I say.

"I know I just don't want you to ever say something like that again, please promise me," he says walking up the stairs and laying me down on our bed.

"Christian, I really need to go back to work," I say trying to get up.

"Not today, you and I are going to lie in bed thinking about our baby."

I think I might have fallen asleep because when I wake up it's nearly dark and Christian is not by my side.

"Christian," I call out before I hear him answer me that he's down the hall.

I walk into what used to be our guest room to find a magnificent white sleigh crib against the wall.

"What have you done?"

"You think it's too much?"

"It's perfect," I say and throw my arms around his neck.

"You are going to be the most amazing mother," he says.

"This baby is so lucky to have you as their father."

**_Six Weeks later_**

"Oh my gosh baby, you finally have a little bump," Christian says rubbing my belly as I wake up.

I look down and sure enough there is a little bulge between my hips. It literally came out of nowhere, when I went to bed last night my stomach was near flat with the exception of just looking really bloated but now I can tell that I'm pregnant.

Since we found we were pregnant it was both a joy and a little scary with Dr. Warren's warning, but I'm going in every two weeks to have blood work so we can watch my levels just in case something were to pop up.

When we told our families that we were pregnant, everyone was thrilled but I could tell by Grace's face that she was nervous as her medical education would make her be. She pulls Christian and me into her office to talk about my health and we reassured her that we were taking all precautions to ensure I was healthy along with the baby.

"I can't believe I'm going to be a grandmother," she says taking me into her arms.

"Christian come here, right now," I yell knowing full well that he's downstairs getting me a bowl of chocolate ice cream with marshmallows, my latest pregnancy craving.

I hear the bowl crash onto the floor and he's flying up the stairs.

"What is it?" He says finally making it into our room and I'm smiling with my hand on my belly.

"Come feel, the baby just kicked me."

"Are you kidding, I thought something was wrong," Christian say laughing and then jumping on the bed. Ever since I found out I was pregnant he has been walking on egg shells around me waiting for the other shoe to drop and treating me with kid gloves.

I take his hand and press it to my side where I felt the baby's last kick.

"Just wait a second," I say pushing down a little.

I just watch Christian's face and then I see it light up.

"I felt it. That is so amazing. It makes it so much more real."

For the rest of the night, Christian laid his head on the bed and positioned his hand to feel our baby. The ice cream was very helpful as it was up and dancing all night. This became our nightly routine. Christian couldn't get enough of the feeling.

The weird part was every time we had sex, the baby would go crazy in my stomach. The first time it happened I thought something was wrong so I went to see Dr. Warren who said it was quite natural and to only be concerned when I didn't feel the baby move.

I think it just encouraged even more to keep me naked in our bed. At first I thought he was just being really kinky, but as my pregnancy progressed so did my sex drive that went haywire and I couldn't get enough of my husband. If I couldn't wait until he got home from work or if I needed a mid-day release I would find my way over to GEH for some private time with my husband.

At one point, Christian said that he didn't know if he could catch up with my sexual appetite. I had to laugh that I was hornier than Christian Grey, the ultimate sex God.

**_Three months later_**

"Ana if you don't hurry up we're going to be late for dinner," Christian says as I attempt to find a dress that doesn't make me look like a beached whale.

"I'm not going." I say laying back down on the bed and pout.

"What do you mean you're not going?"

"Look at me."

"Why Mrs. Grey, you are a mighty fine sight," he says finding me in only a maternity thong and strapless bra.

"Christian, nothing fits."

He walks into our closet and pulls out a beautiful floor length navy blue dress.

"This is perfect, please put it on."

"I need some help then," I say and lift my arms so he could pull me off the bed.

At 37 weeks, I want this beautiful baby out but there is no sign they are coming anytime soon.

"What are you talking about you look incredible," he says turning me around to look in the mirror.

"I'm huge."

"That's the way I like it. But it's only because you are doing the most important job of your life."

"You are so weird," I say as Christian helps to fasten my sandals.

I can't even bend over anymore to tie my shoes so I need Christian or Gail to help me every morning when I get dressed.

"Have I told you just how beautiful you are? I love you being pregnant. I wish you could stay like this forever," he says sweeping my hair off my shoulder and he kisses my neck.

"You know if we don't leave now, we are going to be late for your big dinner."

"We could always be a few minutes late," he says.

"No way Mr. Grey, if we have sex, I'm going to get all sweaty and then I'm going to have to shower again and start this whole process of getting dressed all over again."

"Fine," He pouts and we walk, well I waddle down the stairs.

**_Four Weeks later_**

"Christian," I call out as I make my way out of the shower.

"What is it baby?" He runs in and looks at the panic look on my face.

"I think my water just broke," I say.

I've been having contractions for the past few hours, but we've had so many false alarms I was waiting for my water to break before we went back to the hospital this time.

"We need to get you to the hospital," he says wrapping a towel around me before helping me over to the bed and hands me a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt and he grabs our hospital bag that he has had packed for six weeks now.

Christian helps me down to the car as I wouldn't let him carry me and Gail is at the bottom of the stairs waiting for us.

"I can't believe it's time," she says hugging me.

"Aren't you coming," I ask. Over the past seven months Gail and I have developed a much stronger bond because of this baby that I almost consider her and Grace as my mothers as my own mother hasn't reached out to me after she found out that Christian and I got married and didn't tell her. I don't even know if she knows that I'm pregnant, but in truth I could care less.

"I will be there once you get all settled in, don't worry," she says

On the way to the hospital Christian calls Ray who says he's on his way.

After we are checked in, Dr. Warren comes in to examine me and says that I'm six centimeters dilated and this would be my last chance to get an epidural and I jump at the offer. I'm not crazy, I want the drugs.

After the anesthesiologist administers my epidural I feel instant relief and finally Gail and Grace come in.

"How are you doing darling?" Grace asks.

"I just want this baby out?" I say. "I want to know if I have a son or daughter."

Christian never understood why I wanted to wait until the baby is born to find out its sex. My only reason was that there are truly only a few real surprises in life and this was one of them. We have a few names picked out but we've both decided to wait until the baby comes before we name it.

Two hours later, Dr. Warren says that it's time to stop pushing so she turns off the epidural and my room is quickly transformed. My bed is broken down and a few more nurses come in and they bring in the bassinet.

"This is it," Christian says wiping my forehead.

I've asked that Gail and Grace stay in the room for the delivery and they are both over the moon.

"Okay, Ana now I want you to push with everything you have," she says.

"I can see the head," Christian proudly announces looking down.

We talked about this and I wasn't too keen on him looking down at when I delivered but right now I could care less, because I feel like this baby is ripping my insides out.

"He or she has a lot of hair," He announces with the biggest grin on his face.

"Come on Ana, one more push and you will meet your baby."

I give it all that I have and the next thing I know is that I look down and Christian is helping Dr. Warren deliver our baby.

"It's a girl," he says and places her on my chest. "We have a daughter."

I start crying as I take one look at my gorgeous little girl who is looking into my eyes.

"I love you so much Gracelyn," I say and Christian comes over and kisses our daughter's forehead.

"I'm sorry Christian."

"For what baby, I love Gracelyn."

I look over at the two waiting grandmothers who are holding hands and crying.

"Would you two like to meet your granddaughter?"

Ray comes in a few minutes after Dr. Warren finishes with me.

I know that he's instantly in love with Gracelyn as we all are.

Our guests decide to give me some private time alone with my husband and daughter.

"You are amazing, do you know that?" Christian asks as he sits on the corner just watching me.

"Thank you for making me a mommy," I say.

"It was my pleasure, thank you for making me a daddy. Now I can't wait to get the two of you home where you belong."

**_Christian POV_**

As we drive home, I ask that Taylor go slowly because of the precious cargo but he tells me he goes any slower we won't be moving at all and all we can do is laugh.

I look at my wife who is just looking down at our daughter who is fast asleep in her car seat.

"I never can get enough of looking at my two beautiful girls," I say and Ana looks at me and smiles.

"She's our perfect little miracle," she says and I lean over and kiss my wife.

I can tell that Ana is exhausted. Miss Gracelyn decided that she didn't want to sleep at all the two days we were in the hospital so I know Ana needs to nap.

When we get home, I take Gracelyn out of the car and then come back for Ana who looks like she is going to fall asleep standing up.

I take my girls upstairs and put Ana to sleep and then I take Gracelyn out of her car seat and into her nursery where I just hold her while I sit on the rocking chair.

"I love you and your mommy so much," I say as I rub her back. I could never get tired of holding my little girl.

I let Ana sleep for as long as I can before Gracelyn is too fussy for even me to handle.

"How long was I sleeping," Ana asks when I hand her the baby so I can prepare a bottle, but Gail is already ready with one.

"Almost two hours," I say and kick off my shoes and get into bed next to my girls.

"Thank you. I needed that."

"Anytime."

I know that Ana feels a little cheated because she isn't able to nurse Gracelyn. I don't know what to say but just be there to support her.

"So when do you want to have another baby?" She says and surprises me.

"Well, let's just concentrate on this one first and remember Dr. Warren told me that you are off limits for the next six weeks and then we can start practicing again."


	13. Chapter 13

**_I want to give a very special thanks to my new editor Ashley. Thanks so much for stepping up to the challenge._**

**_This chapter was a tough one for me to write and I want to give all of my loyal readers a warning. Many times cancer takes those who mean the most to us. In this chapter Ana will receive some life altering news. If you don't want to read further then you might not want to continue this story._**

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**_Ana POV_**

The past six weeks have been amazing. Gracelyn has fit into our lives so perfectly and I love being a mother and she is probably the easiest baby in the world. She sleeps almost through the night and when she does get up, Christian is the one who gets up to feed her. I'm so lucky to have him as the father of my child.

I have my post-delivery check up with Dr. Warren today and Christian told me to have a girl's day so Mia meets me at the spa for mani and pedis and lunch. We talk about her wedding plans. I can't believe her and Sawyer are getting married in just six weeks. I hope I can fit into my dress. I purposely picked out a form fitting dress as inspiration to get back to pre baby shape and I can't wait to get back into the gym.

Dr. Warren comes in and does her exam and says that I've healed nicely and that my husband and I can resume our physical relationship and I been dying to make love to him, maybe even more than he wants me. Tonight we are going to celebrate.

I walk over to the lab to do some blood work and other tests which are standard because of the increase of hormones the other Dr. Warren just wanted to make sure that everything was okay. He told me not to worry, but of course I will worry until I get a clean bill of health.

I have just put Gracelyn down for her morning nap when my cell phone rings and its Dr. Warren's office.

"Hello," I say and I can feel my heart start to beat fast.

"Ana, it's Dr. Warren," he says and I know that's not a good sign that he's calling.

"Just tell me, I can't wait to come into your office."

"Ana, I am so sorry, but your blood work and scans were pretty alarming and I need you to come into my office to run more tests."

"I need to know Donald, what is it?"

"I'm not 100% sure and it's serious enough that I need you to come in today."

I end the call and fall to the floor and start crying.

"Ana, what's wrong," Gail says when she discovers me on the floor.

"I'm sick," I say and I watch as she throws her hand over her mouth.

"I bet he's wrong, you aren't sick, you look just fine to me," she says trying to make me feel better.

"Can you watch the baby when I go to Dr. Warren's office?"

"Of course."

I tell Sawyer where we need to go and I call Christian once we are on the road. I try to keep my voice light when I tell him where I'm going and when we pull up to Dr. Warren's office I see Christian waiting for me.

When I get out of the car, I start crying and run into his arms.

"Whatever it is, we are going to beat this just like last time, you are the strongest person I know," he says stroking my hair.

We walk hand in hand into the doctor's office and Dr. Warren comes in and I can tell by the look on his face that it isn't good.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush, your blood tests revealed that you have leukemia and it's advanced."

I squeeze Christian's hand and I'm frozen.

"So what do we need to do fight this," Christian says trying to sound positive.

"That's the problem, due to the pregnancy and the overload of hormones the leukemia has advanced quicker than normal and there's nothing that can be done."

"What do you mean there's nothing that can be done, there has to be some kind of surgery, chemo, radiation or magic pill," he says.

"It's too advanced for any of that to work, but I have forwarded you results to several other oncologists for a second and third opinion. Ana, I am so sorry."

"How long do I have?"

"Less than a year," he says and I gasp.

**_Christian POV_**

It's been three days and Ana still refuses to discuss her prognosis that Dr. Warren delivered to us. She's acting as if nothing has happened. I'm scared, angry and heartbroken and all I want is for her to talk to me. It's almost like it's not real.

I haven't even spoken to my mother about this and I feel if I don't I can't talk about this I'm going to explode. When I emerge from my office, I find Ana lying on the couch with Gracelyn on her chest and they are both sound asleep. I grab the camera off the counter and begin to snap away. I want to capture every of my little girl's life. Then I focus on Ana. She looks incredible and so relaxed and without a care in the world and I wonder how will I ever be able to go on once she's gone. I know I shouldn't think about it, but I have to be realistic, at least that's what Flynn said what's going to help. I started seeing Flynn the day we got the prognosis when Ana refused to talk to me. He told me to wait for Ana to open up to me, it's like when she was first diagnosed with breast cancer and her way to deal with it was to break up with me.

She's as affectionate as ever and even more so, trying to make up the last six weeks. I can't get enough of her and I try to savor every last kiss and touch not knowing if it will be our last time.

I spoke with Gail as she knows that Ana's sick but not to what extent but deep down I think she knows but she's not letting on.

"Christian, are you ready for dinner," Gail asks coming out of the laundry room and then sees Ana sleeping.

"That's just about the most precious thing I've ever seen," she says and takes my hand.

"Gail, I need to talk to you."

She looks at me and smiles.

"I already know Christian. She told me this morning," she says with tears in her eyes. "She's trying to be strong for everyone but I think it's only a matter of time before…"

"I know you're talking about me," Ana says opening her eyes and looks up to find the two of us hovering over her.

"We need to talk about this, Anastasia," I say.

"What is there to say, I'm dying. Life isn't fair, but I don't want to dwell on it. I want to spend whatever time I have left with the people I love. Now, Gail I would love your world famous lasagna."

"Coming right up," she says heading back into the kitchen.

"Can I get you a glass of wine," I ask her and she smiles and nods and I return with two glasses of our favorite red wine.

I take Gracelyn who is still sleeping and hand Ana her wine.

"This is what I needed," she says downing her wine in two long drinks and then holds it out for another glass.

Gail takes the baby so Ana can eat alone.

"Christian, I'm scared," she finally admits thanks to the help of the wine.

I walk over to her and sit down next to her and pull her on my lap.

"Me too baby," I say as she begins to cry against my chest.

"She's not going to even know me Christian."

"Oh yes she will, I will do everything to remind her about her incredible, talented, beautiful mother who loved her with everything that she had."

She looks up at me and smiles.

"I'm going to write her letters and make videos," she says and I see that spark in her eyes.

"She will love that, just let me know what you need and how I can help and I will do it."

"I think I'm ready to tell everyone, but can we wait until after the wedding, I don't want to ruin Mia and Sawyer's big day."

"Whatever you want."

**_Ana POV_**

I spend my time while Gracelyn sleeps writing in a journal and writing her letters for every occasion. I decided to write a letter that she can open on every birthday and now I'm up to her wedding day. It's hard to think of my baby getting married, but I know that one day it will come and I won't be there to share it with her.

Christian on the other hand has thrown himself and his entire research team into finding a cure for me. I know it's his coping mechanism and I don't want to deter him, but right now I want to focus on the three of us living together.

Two weeks later we celebrated Mia and Luke's magical wedding and tonight we are having the whole family including my father over for dinner and we plan on telling everyone the news together. For me, I wanted to say it only once as it will be much easier than telling the same story over and over again.

I hear Gracelyn over the monitor so I know her afternoon nap is officially over. I can't get over just how much she has grown and changed. Something is new every day. Right now we are at the fun stage where she is really discovering her surroundings, but my absolute favorite thing is to hear her laugh, it is the most wonderful sound I've ever heard. I remember the morning the other day when I went to get her up for the day and I looked in her crib and tickled her belly as I changed her diaper and she laughed. I started crying because I know that every day I spend with her and Christian are precious.

I'm happy that Christian has decided to spend more time at home with the two of us. He hovers sometimes so I insist that he go into work but he's home by five every night and each night we make love like it's my last day on earth. I think every morning when she sees me wake that it's a miracle.

Physically I don't feel sick and that's the strange part in all of this, I expected to feel different but I feel like any other new mom feels. Dr. Warren said that with this type of cancer, the side effects vary from person, but because it is so rare no one really has documented what or how I will feel. I am going to relish how I feel now but things begin to deteriorate which I know is only a matter of time. I have weekly blood tests to track the progression of the cancer and my immunity is rapidly declining so I have be careful not to catch or cold as it will be lethal to me.

Gail has been cooking for a few hours and she refuses to let me help so I just had time to write.

"Did you have a nice nap," I ask Gracelyn and she just looks at me and smiles and my heart just melts.

"Do I hear two beautiful girls up here," Christian says as he walks up the stairs.

"Daddy's home," I say as I put on the most adorable little dress on her.

"You are a mighty fine sight Mrs. Grey," Christian says kissing my lips and picking up my daughter.

"As do you, Mr. Grey."

"You ready for tonight," he asks as we walk into our room so we can change.

"Christian I need to talk to you about something and please don't say anything until I'm finished," I say and he pops his head out of the closet.

"Okay," he says walking over to the bed so I can have his full attention.

"I want you to fall in love again. I need you to find a woman whom you can share your life with and be a mother to Gracelyn. I know you can't think about it now with me here, but I want know that you won't spend the rest of your life pinning for me. I need you to be able to move on. I'm giving you permission."

"Ana, I don't know what to say," he says running his hand through his longer than normal copper hair.

"Don't say anything, just remember this conversation and know that I won't be mad and I know that you won't be replacing me and I accept that."

An hour later the first of our guests arrive and we start with a round of cocktails and told Christian to make them stronger than normal.

Gail has prepared an amazing meal and then we have everyone go into the living room with another round of adult beverages.

"I'm glad that everyone was able to come over tonight, now I have something important to share with you," I say and Christian is by my side with his arm around my waist. I take a deep breath and look at everyone's faces one last time because I know after I give them my news they won't look at me the same way anymore.

"I'm sick again," I announce and I can't look at their faces and I focus on Gracelyn is in the arms of my father.

I hear gasps and I am fighting back the tears.

"It seems as if I have a form of leukemia that is untreatable and I've been given about six to eight months."

"Have you got a second opinion," Grace asks.

"In face we have had a second, third and fourth," Christian says.

"I decided that instead of undergoing treatments that won't work or might prolong a few weeks or months and I will suffer the side effects, I am going to live life to the fullest and I hope that all of you can do the same. I know that this is a lot to take in but today is a good day and I have a beautiful baby and an incredible husband who loves me and that's all I can ask for."

**_Christian POV_**

I still can't believe the strength and courage that my wife has displayed tonight. Now every member of our family is having private time with Ana. I think Mia is having the hardest time with all of this as she hasn't said a word since Ana's revelation which isn't my little sister. Sawyer has his arm around her and she is just staring off into space. I have ever seen her like this. My mom says that she needs to process this before she is ready to talk, that's how I know that she and Ana are so alike.

Kate is in the kitchen chatting with Gail as they both watch Elliott give his niece a bottle. I can't believe in just a few months, they are going to be welcoming a little boy. I have come to love Kate like my own sister and she has had such an amazing effect on my brother. She is the perfect addition to our family.

"You look like a natural big brother," I say as my little girl drains the remainder of her bottle and I teach Elliott how to burp her as there is a special technique.

"I can't believe I'm going to have one of these soon," he says as he gets Gracelyn to burp.

My mother is the latest person to come out of my study and she is all red and her eyes look blood shot. Ana comes out a few minutes later and she wipes her tears before joining is in the kitchen.

"I was just telling Christian that you and Kate should take Gracelyn overnight so you can get used to having a baby around," she says pouring herself another glass of wine.

"How is Mia doing?" She whispers in my ear and we both turn around and look at her and she still has the same expression on her face."

"Maybe you should go talk to her," I suggest and I kiss her on the lips.

**_Ana POV_**

I walk over and sit next to Mia and Sawyer but she still won't acknowledge.

"Mia, please say something to me," I ask reaching for her hand.

"How long have you known and please don't lie to me anymore," she accuses me.

"We found out a few weeks before your wedding."

"I wish you would have told me, I am your best friend or at least I thought I was."

"Mia, please don't do this. Would it matter if I have told you then or now, I have whatever time I have left and I want you to be there for me."

"Of course I'm going to be there for you, I love you Ana."

"Good because I need to ask you a very big favor, can we go and talk?"

We head upstairs to my room and I remove a letter and a DVD.

"This is for you to give to the woman that Christian falls in love with one day."

"Ana, don't do this."

"Mia, please take it. This is already so hard me to do and I need you to support me. Now I need to ask you another favor."

"Whatever it is I will do it."

"I want you to watch over your brother and help him with Gracelyn. I have a feeling that after I'm gone he's going to go into some kind of depression but you can't let him, okay. I need you to be strong for him like I know you can and be there for my daughter."

"I don't want you to die Ana," she says and wraps her arms around me and we both start crying.

"I don't want to die either."

**_After reading this chapter, I know that many of you might not be happy with me with the course of this story, however not everyone survives cancer and for my story Ana is not one of those. I hope that you will continue this journey with me as Ana prepares not only herself but her family for what life will be like without her._**


	14. Chapter 14

**_First off I want to thank everyone for continuing this journey with me. I knew it was going to be a controversial one but this is my story and this is how I envisionsed my story. I want to thank everyone who sent me nice reviews and/or PMs saying they liked my story but could not continue, I appreciate your honesty. As for those people whom I shall not name (mostly guest reviewers) it was never my intention to deceive anyone with my story. If are you continuing this journey with me I would love to hear what you think._**

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**_Ana POV_**

I never thought I would live long enough to see my baby girl take her first steps but here we are and my 11-month little girl is walking.

"Christian, please get the camera before she falls over," I say trying not to distract my beautiful Gracelyn.

I start crying as she says mama and holds her hands out to me.

"Did you just hear that? She said mama."

"I did baby," Christian says wrapping his arms around me.

These days I can feel the effects on the cancer more readily now. I tire very easily so trying to chase after a now walking baby brings with it a whole another set of challenges.

For the next hour, Christian and I just sit on the floor and we have Gracelyn walk between us and we praise her every time she does and we all laugh together.

Today with the help of Mia, we started planning the ultimate first birthday party for my little princess, which also happens to be the theme of the party.

"Ana there is something I want to tell you," Mia says as we plan out the party menu.

"You're pregnant."

"How did you know?" She says and we hug and laugh.

"Mia, there is something I need to tell you. I know that youare going to think it's a little strange but just hear me out okay. For the past few days, I have been having these really strange dreams and I don't know what to make of them."

"What kind of dreams?"

"Well, the first one was of you with a little baby in your arms and I think Gracelyn playing on the lawn with Luke and Christian watching from afar. It seemed so real especially since I wasn't there. Then there was this dream last night."

"And…"

Gracelyn looked like she was five or six maybe a little older and Christian was holding hands with a beautiful woman and they all looked happy.

"Ana, I don't know what to say, it was just a dream."

"No Mia, it's a sign that Christian will be okay after I'm gone."

"Please stop Ana, you still have a lot of time, please don't talk like this Ana."

**"**Mia, it's inevitable. I need to know that my family is taken care of once I'm gone."

She starts crying, which always happens when I talk about the future.

"In my dream, you had a boy so when you find out what you're having and it's a boy you will know that my dream came true. The woman that Christian will fall in love with her name is Tenley."

"I don't know a Tenley," she says.

"Please don't tell Christian any of this. I don't want to worry him about my dreams."

"You look so relieved," Mia says.

"I am. The only thing I'm worry about now is Christian and what is going to happen to him."

"Ana, I promised I would take care of him and you have everything you need to ensure that."

"I do."

"I can't believe you're having a baby," I say.

Mia and Luke decided to take Gracelyn for the night so Christian and I could have some alone time.

I make him dinner and we eat on the patio and watch the sun go down.

"You are so beautiful," Christian says tucking a loose stand of hair behind my ear. I hear the sadness in his voice but there will be none of that tonight.

"You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Grey**,**" I say standing up and moving to sit on his lap and I kiss his lips. "How about you take me to bed so I can lose myself in you forever."

"I think I can arrange that Mrs. Grey," he says and he lifts me up and carries to me up to bed.

Christian is all about taking his time tonight as he slowly pulls my dress off and lays me onto the bed as I watch him strip his clothes off.

"Are you enjoying the show?" He asks as he turns around to give me the full view.

"I sure am," I say as he slides next to me running his hand up my leg over my breasts and touches my lips with his.

I move so I straddle him.

"Oh Ana, I love you so much," He says gripping my hips as I slowly take him all the way.

"I could stay like this forever," I moan as I begin to slowly move my hips.

"Fuck, you feel so good baby," Christian says trying to control my rhythm to really feel every movement.

My body craves a release so I fight against his hands and finally Christian gives up and lets me ride him like I need to.

The slight sheen on my chest is a sign that I'm getting tired but I know Christian is trying to ignore that fact so he helps me to find my release.

I collapse on top of him as my orgasm rips through me and into Christian as I feel his release inside of me.

It takes me a few minutes to catch my breath and I know that worries Christian. Everything does these days but I just laugh it off, that's how I'm coping with it.

I fall asleep on his chest listening to his heart beating and it's one of the those things that I'm going to miss.

**_Christian POV_**

Ana didn't wake up after we made love and I didn't have the heart to wake her so I fell asleep with her in my arms. The tears came flowing down my face when I know that these moments are numbered and the full weight that in a few days, weeks or months she will be gone.

I know that her time is coming to an end but I don't want to dwell on that, becauseI know that's not what Ana wants and I want her to be happy.

My wife has been so strong trying to deal with her death sentence. I don't know how she does it. She always has a smile on her face and never once does she let this get her down. She wants to enjoy her time with Gracelyn and me and everyone that matters in her life.

When I woke this morning, the sun was shining and the birds were chirping and I knew what I had to do. Ana is still sleeping so I carefully move her off my chest and I throw on a pair of shorts and go down to my office and make a phone call.

**_Ana POV_**

I can't believe that Christian let me sleep the day away, but after last night, I needed my body to recover as our lovemaking took a lot out of me.

I shower and get dressed and head downstairs to find Christian in study.

"When will Gracelyn be back?" I ask.

"Later on tonight, would you like some lunch?"

We sit at the kitchen table while I make us each a big salad and subs.

"What would you like to do today?" Christian asks.

"You!"

"Oh Mrs. Grey, hold that thought," He says when I hear a knock on the door.

"I think it's for you."

I give him a look like what have you done and I openthe door and I'm shocked at who is standing in front of me.

We don't say anything but stare at each other. I'm the first to break and I run into her arms and start crying.

"Ana, I'm so sorry," she says and what has happened in the past is just what it is in the past.

"I'm glad you're here," I say and invite my mother inside.

"Hi Carla," Christian says walking over.

"Thank you for calling me Christian," she says and I look over at my husband.

"What did you do," I ask him.

"You were crying in your sleep last night and you kept saying you're sorry to your mom so when I got up this morning I called Carla and told her that you needed her and got her on the first flight here."

"Christian Grey, you are amazing. Thank you."

Mom and I spend the next few hours talking on the patio before I hear a door open and we both turn around when we hear a little giggle and then we see Gracelyn walking toward us with Christian closely behind her just in case she falls.

"Mom, I would like you to meet your granddaughter Gracelyn," I say picking up my little girl.

"She is beautiful Annie," she says holding out her hands looking for my approval to hold her.

Gracelyn has my mom already wrapped around her finger and she's only been in my mom's arms for less than five minutes.

"How long can you stay mom," I say over dinner.

"As long as you want me?"

"We have a lot to catch up on," I say and we both toast over a glass of Bollinger.

Having mom here for the last month has been great. She and my dad have mended their relationship so at least they can be in the same room together. Now, here we are celebrating my daughter's first birthday.

The past week has been a taxing one on my body. All I want to do is sleep as I'm so tired and I try to fight against it but I know I'm losing my fight. It's like the harder I fight the quicker I feel that I'm losing.

Yesterday I couldn't even get out of bed as I was so exhausted and my body hurt. I wanted to save all my energy for today's party.

When I woke up this morning, I feel like a new person almost like the past week never happened. I get ready early and head into Gracelyn's room to find Christian already in there changing our daughter.

"Anastasia, I told you that you needed to rest until the party starts in a few hours," he says with a concerned look on his face.

"I feel amazing Christian," I say and run up to him and our daughter and kiss them both.

"Are you sure?"

"I've never felt better," I say and the three of us head downstairs for breakfast.

At 11, Mia stops by with the cake and the rest of the food that she has prepared and when she sees me she nearly falls over.

She pulls me into the laundry room and closes the door.

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean, I feel great."

**"**Talk to me Ana," she panics.

"Mia, please don't freak out. I think I'm just having an adrenaline rush which Dr. Warren tells me is quite normal at the end. Don't get upset or worry Christian; he already has enough on his plate. I don't want him to know."

I see the tears forming in my best friend's eyes.

"This is it isn't?"

I look at her and smile.

"Remember you promised, today is all about Gracelyn."

"I love you Ana," she says taking me into her arms.

We have nearly 100 people over at the house for the party. We invited all of Gracelyn's friends from her various play groups and all of our family and friends are here. I joked with Christian when I showed him our guest list that we had more people for our daughter's first birthday party than we did for our own wedding.

The party was a smashing success and I think Gracelyn loved herlittle cake that Mia made for only her. I think she got more frosting on her body then in her mouth. I don't remember laughing that hard ever.

After the guests have left, Gail and my mom were upstairs giving the birthday girl a much needed bath while Christian and I sit on the patio watching the sun go down.

"Today was an amazing day," I say lying down against Christian's chest.

**"**It couldn't have been more perfect," he says and kisses my neck.

My mom brings Gracelyn out to us dressed in her birthday jammies and I take her into my arms and just snuggle with her.

"I love you so much baby never forget that," I say kissing her sweet cheeks. "You are going to do amazing things young lady and I'm sorry that I won't be here to see them but know that I will always be looking down on you and daddy."

Christian's arms squeeze me harder knowing that I feel it happening.

The three of us stay on the chair and watch the sun dip below the water and soon my darling daughter is fast asleep against my chest. I fight back the tears knowing that I won't be here when she wakes up and I can feel the tears start to fall down my cheeks.

Christian calls my mom over to take Gracelyn to bed and I tell her I love her. I don't want her to know.

After our daughter is safely inside Christian adjusts me so we are facing each other.

"I don't want to say goodbye," he says crushing his lips to mine. I feel his emotions in his lips and I feel his tears on my cheek.

"Then don't say it," I whisper against his lips. "I need you to let me go Christian."

"I'm not ready," he says.

"I know, but I will always be with you, right here," I say placing my hand on his chest. "These past three years with you have been the best of my life and I wouldn't have changed anything. You made me a wife and mother to the most amazing little girl and I'm grateful that you came into my life. But Christian I need you to promise me that you will move on."

"Ana please don't," He says.

"Christian, please I can't die like this. Promise me that you will move on one day, if not for you, but for Gracelyn. It's okay."

"I promise," he says and I kiss his lips for the last time.


	15. Chapter 15

**_I am blown away by all of your responses. Also, thank you to all my my new readers. Welcome. I also want to thank my amazing editor Ashley. You are amazing!_**

**_To answer a few of your questions, I plan on continuing this story for as along as people wants to read it as I'm wrapping up my other story._**

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**_Christian POV_**

My beautiful angel left our world so peacefully and in my arms just as she wanted. One minute we were talking and then she was gone. I didn't feel the pull to her anymore so I knew that she was in Heaven. I held her in my arms until my mom found us. I didn't want to let her go because when I did I knew she was really gone.

It took Taylor taking my beautiful Anastasia out of my arms before I finally let go.

Once her body was taken out of the house I ran up the stairs to my beautiful little girl, my only reminder of my sweet Anastasia and just held her in my arms.

"Your mommy loved you very much," I say and just cry. Mia comes in a few minutes later and just sits on the floor next to me holding my leg and cries softly.

"What am I going to do without her?" I ask Mia and she looks up to me and smiles.

"I have something for you," she says standing up and takes Gracelyn out of my arms and places her back into the crib. We walk into my study and she produces a DVD from her bag.

"Ana wanted you to watch this after…"

She hits play on my computer and I sit down and she leaves the room.

I see my beautiful Anastasia on the screen and she does look beautiful. I touch the screen.

"Christian, I'm sorry that you have to watch this right now, but I wanted to say a few more things to you. Thank you for loving me and for giving me Gracelyn. I know I'm not there with you but know that I love you so much and I need you to be strong, not only for yourself but for our daughter, she is going to need you more than ever. Remember what you promised me and know that one day we will be reunited. I love you Christian Grey."

Then the screen goes back. How did Ana know that I needed to see this?

Mia comes back in a few minutes later.

"Did that help? Ana was hoping it would."

"Thank you Mia, I feel better."

Ana's funeral was beautiful just like she designed it. There were flowers everywhere and even a slideshow of her life growing up then with me and then Gracelyn. It even had a few video clips from our wedding and of her with Gracelyn. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. Everyone in this room loved Ana just like I loved her. We celebrated her life and didn't dwell on her death. I held Gracelyn in my arms during the whole service and this little girl has given me all the strength I need. I'm grateful for her.

Per Ana's wishes after the funeral she is cremated and a few days later, the funeral home delivers her ashes in a beautiful vase that she picked out herself. Along with the vase, there was a little locket for Gracelyn that contained some of her ashes so that she could always be close to our daughter's heart.

I don't know where I want to place her ashes so for now she will be on the mantle in the family room.

The last six months Mia has been a godsend for not only me for but Gracelyn. She has taken on the mother role for Gracelyn even though she was due to give birth to my nephew any day now. One concern I had was when Gracelyn began walking around the house saying mama as if she was looking for Ana. It started shortly after we began watching the videos Ana recorded of her reading books. For me, I thought it was going to be hard to hear her and see her beautiful face, but it has been helpful. I think it confused Gracelyn at first because after we stopped the movie she would walk around the house looking for Ana. I spoke to Flynn who referred me to child psychologist who said that it's quite normal for Gracelyn to exhibit those signs but just to watch her and if she seems upset then maybe we should stop watching the movies.

One day, I watch Ana read Goodnight Moon to Gracelyn and the look on my daughter's face was priceless. She held the book on her lap and she just smiled and laughed and pointed to the screen and said mama.

"That's right baby, that is mama," I say and kiss her on the forehead.

I decided that even though Ana wasn't physically with us anymore that didn't mean we should stop celebrating her life. We remember her for her birthday, our wedding anniversary and of course during the holidays. I think it doesn't only help me to remember my best friend but it's a way for Gracelyn to get to know her mother.

The videos have been the best gift. As Gracelyn has grown up she asks to watch a certain video or two if she's having a bad day and seeing her mom's face makes her smile.

As for me, the last four years have been tough but if it weren't for my family and of course Gracelyn I don't know if I could have made it. Now, as I hit play for Gracelyn as she prepares for her first day of kindergarten I will never get tired of hearing the sweet words of wisdom that she has for our daughter on a day like this.

It kills me that I can't be the one to take Gracelyn to her first day of school but I have an early morning meeting with my team in Hong Kong and it couldn't be rescheduled so Mia has agreed to take Gracelyn and I will pick her up.

I have kept Sawyer on to serve at Gracelyn's personal security which gives me more flexibility to be at home with my niece and nephew and a very pregnant Mia.

**_Mia POV_**

Gracelyn looks like a little doll in her frilly pink dress that I know that she picked out for herself when I arrive with Lucas and Stella in tow.

"You look like a princess," Lucas says to his cousin.

"I know because I am a princess just like my mommy says."

I can't get over just how intelligent my niece is. The way she talks about Ana is so confident like she really knows her and not just from his videos. It's quite amazing to watch this girl in action.

Explaining to Lucas about his aunt Ana that he never met has been tough. He has seen the videos but I know he's confused and I try to answer my four-year-old's questions as best I can. As for Stella, she's only two so she doesn't understand anything.

"You ready for your first day of school?"

"I'm ready when you are," she says and I nearly start crying as she reminds me so much of my best friend not only in her looks but her voice and choice of words.

Sawyer drives us to the most prestigious private school in the state and I tell Sawyer to stay in the car as I want to do this alone.

We walk to Gracelyn's classroom and once she sees the toys she's off dropping off her backpack and sweater on the floor.

"Mrs. Sawyer?" Gracelyn's teacher Ms. Whittier asks. "Mr. Grey called the school to alert us that you would be dropping her off."

"Do you mind if I stay a little while to make sure that she's fine," I say knowing full well that my niece whom I nearly consider my daughter is more than okay and in capable hands.

"We find it best for the children if parents wait here if you don't mind," she says.

I like her already, I know that's not normal protocol but everyone at the school knows about Gracelyn's situation so she lets me wait outside.

"Thank you, Ms. Whittier," I say.

"Please that's too formal, call me Tenley."

I gasp and I look at the woman in front of me. I can't believe Ana was right…again.

**_Christian POV_**

I wrapped up my meeting early and I couldn't get out of GEH fast enough to head to Gracelyn's school. It kills me that I missed taking her on her very first day of kindergarten so I will have to make it up to her somehow. Probably the newest American Girl will be in order.

First day of school, my little girl is growing up. I wish that Ana could have been here to see what an amazing little girl our child has become. One wouldn't think by spending a few minutes with her that Gracelyn is only five. She speaks like a grown up and can read and write and is the spitting image of Ana. If I didn't know better sometimes I mistake Gracelyn for Ana, which she finds funny but it's the truth. I have the best piece of Ana with me.

I'm grateful for Mia and Kate and of course my mom and Carla not to mention Gail for their influence on Gracelyn but other times she asks why she doesn't have a mommy on earth as she does in heaven. I would love to give her an earth mommy as we call it but I haven't been ready to date let alone think about ever marrying anyone ever again.

I know what I promised Anastasia all those years ago but it just hasn't been the right time nor do I think it ever will be and I will be content with my beautiful daughter by my side.

I enter the school and ask that Taylor wait for me in the parking lot, I find Sawyer trying not to be obvious but he's peeking in the window.

"How's she doing," I ask catching him off guard.

"She's a hit, everyone loves her but that's no surprise," he says. I'm thankful that Sawyer agreed to stay on to keep an eye on Gracelyn. I know how close he and Ana were and deep down I knew that he would do anything to keep our daughter safe and out of harm's way.

Sawyer gives me the rundown of what Gracelyn has done for the day. He said his highlight was at lunch when Gracelyn asked if he would come sit down by her in the lunchroom, but he politely declined.

I look through the window and there's my girl sitting alongside her classmates listening to a story and she is so content. I could watch her like this until time stood still. Then she sees me and starts waving at me in the window. There's a bit of commotion in the classroom and I try to step back when her teacher turns around and looks at me and smiles.

I never thought I would ever react that way to a woman after Ana but there's something about that strawberry blond woman.

A few minutes later the bell rings and I stand in the hallway and wait for Gracelyn.

She doesn't emerge with the rest of her class whose parents, mostly mothers have gathered and they are all staring at me. It's just a face ladies, nothing more, I think to myself and have to chuckle.

Instead I walk inside and find Gracelyn putting on her sweater and telling her teacher a story and she looks very animated.

"Ms. Whittier, that's my daddy," she says coming up to me to pull me over to her teacher.

"Christian Grey, it's to meet you Ms. Whittier," I say and extend my hand as does she and I feel a spark. Nearly the same spark I felt when I first touched Anastasia.

I pull my hand back immediately and instantly I regret it. I look into her eyes and she looks rejected.

"Come along Gracelyn, we need to get home," I say and Sawyer comes in to collect her sweater and backpack.

The two amigos walk in front of me while I linger behind taking another look into the classroom to find Ms. Whittier staring at me.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and call Welch.

"Welch, I need a full background check on Ms. Whittier, yes Gracelyn's teacher."


	16. Chapter 16

**_After reading your comments, this is my story and you may choose to read it or not, but I have a plan for my story for Christian to move on as it was Ana's dying intention and I plan on seeing this story out. If you don't want to read about Christian moving on, stop reading here, again this is MY story!_**

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**_Christian POV_**

"You already have Tenley Whittier's file. I sent it over last month. Do you want me to run a new one?"

What the fuck am I doing?

"No, I will just take another look, thanks Welch," I say and slam my phone closed.

"So daddy, what do you think of my teacher? She's really pretty and she's not married," my very perceptive daughter says. I think it's her very subtle hint that I need to ask her out.

"She is very pretty," I say and almost feel guilty for saying that. Since Ana passed away I never once thought twice about another woman let alone went on a date or had sex. It's been a very very long time since I've had sex and I thought I would miss it but without Ana I've never wanted to experience what the two of us shared physically.

"I think you need to ask her to dinner," Gracelyn says snapping me out of my little daydream.

"Gracelyn, I'm not sure about that, she's your teacher."

"Don't you like her?"

How do I explain to my 5-year-old that I'm still not ready to go on a date with anyone?

"Daddy, but you are so sad and I want to see you happy. Ms. Whittier can make you happy and I would like her as my new mom."

"Gracelyn Marie what would ever give you the idea that I'm sad?"

"I don't know but I've seen the movies of mommy and you and you looked different. Maybe if you're with Ms. Whittier you will be happy like with mommy."

"Sweetheart, you make me happy and that's all I need."

"What about me?" I can't help but look at her pouty face that reminds me so much of Ana and my heart breaks even more.

"What about you?"

"Did you see all the other mommies when you came and got me from school? You were the only daddy there."

"Gracelyn, we talked about this."

"I know but it still isn't fair."

"I know baby and if I could make it that your mommy could be here today I would."

"Do you think mommy is looking down at me from Heaven?"

"Without a doubt. I know how happy she is today for your first day of school."

"I wish I could talk to her."

"You can anytime but remember she won't be able to answer."

"I miss mommy."

"Me too baby, me too."

After Gracelyn's piano lesson, we head home to find that Gail already has dinner at the table and Sophie is doing her homework at the breakfast bar.

"How was your first day of junior high?" I ask Sophie who looks at me and blushes. Gail told me the other day that Sophie has a little crush on me and I don't know how to act around her other than to act normal.

"It was good."

Gracelyn hops up next to Sophie, whom she treats as her cool older sister, with her coloring book and crayons and pretends to do her homework as well.

We eat dinner as a family and when I head upstairs to tuck my daughter in I can't stop thinking about Ms. Tenley Whittier. I don't know why I feel guilty but I do.

"God bless my daddy, Gail, Taylor and my best friend Sophie. And God, please let my mommy be able to talk to me from heaven. I miss her and love her. Oh and one more thing, please let my daddy ask Ms. Whittier out. I would like her as my new mommy."

I lean against the door jam and just listen to her. I remember when she was a baby, Ana made it part of our nightly routine to say our prayers together and I have kept up that tradition.

Those first few months after Ana passed; I had Gracelyn sleep with me in our bed. I missed not having Ana in my bed and Gracelyn kept the nightmares away. It was my daughter that got me up in the morning, so I wouldn't wallow in my depression. She was worth living for and I couldn't let Ana down. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Gracelyn.

"You ready for a bedtime story?" I ask after she hops into bed.

"I want to have mommy read it," she announces and opens her bedside table and hands me a DVD. "Chapter 18."

_Sleeping Beauty_ is Gracelyn's favorite and I know why. I think she thinks that I'm the handsome prince who will be able to awake his love by just one kiss. I think it gives her hope that one day her mommy will come home.

This is the sign that she needs to start seeing Dr. Martins again. Last year was when Gracelyn first started seeing a psychologist that Flynn recommended and it was helpful when she was having separation issues and she started watching this video every night and would cry and nearly throw a tantrum when I didn't let her watch it. I thought we had gotten past that moment in her life but I don't want her to go back to that place so I will set-up an appointment.

I give in today and press play and there is my beautiful Anastasia on the screen. God I miss her, even after four years, I still miss her every second of every day.

I kiss my daughter goodnight and turn off the lights as it's obvious she doesn't want me in the room.

I head back down to my study and look through my files until I find the one marked Tenley Whittier.

Gracelyn's teacher is 26 and from Mercer Island and it says that she's single and has never been married. She has a Masters in Early Education and this is her third year teaching. I continue to read the four-page document and stare at the photo on the front of the folder.

She is rather striking with her long strawberry blonde hair and green eyes but she is nothing more than my daughter's kindergarten teacher.

That night I can't sleep as the vision of Tenley Whittier was present in every thought.

Taylor and I go for a very long run to try to get my mind off of her but it doesn't work. I think Taylor can even tell that something's up but doesn't pry. I think he's waiting for me to open up.

"Taylor, can I ask you a question?" I finally ask we make the turn for home.

"Sure boss."

"Do you think I should date, I mean, do you think I've left enough time pass? You know never mind, I don't know what I'm thinking."

"Christian, if you are asking me if Ana would be okay with you dating then we both know the answer. Ana wanted to see that you continued to live your life and she told Gail and I that she didn't want you to be alone. Is there anyone that you might be interested in going on a date with?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Does it have anything to do with Gracelyn's teacher?"

"How the hell you do know?"

"It was something that she said to Gail last night about wanting you and her teacher to go out a date and that it would be nice if she had a new mother."

I can't believe she talked to Gail, wait, it shouldn't surprise me as Gail is the closest thing to a mother to her and I know she feels comfortable with her.

When I shower and make my way downstairs, my daughter is already eating her breakfast without me. She always waits for me before starting.

"Come on daddy, we are going to be late for school," she orders and quickly finishes her milk and jumps up from the table to grab her jacket and backpack.

"Slow down, we have plenty of time."

"I would like to go to school now Sawyer," she says as he finishes his coffee. I don't like her ordering Sawyer around. God, Ana was right she is exactly like me.

"I would like to go with you Gracelyn," I say but she's already by the front door.

"I want to go myself; I'm not a baby you know."

"No one called you a baby."

"You can pick me up from school, I love you daddy."

Then she's gone.

Where did my little girl go?

"Remind you of anyone?" Gail says and she and Taylor both laugh.

"Do I really act like that?"

They both look at each other, smile and say nothing.

"Taylor I will be ready to go in five minutes."

Then I head down the hallway and I hear the two of them laughing.

I have Andrea schedule me a break so I can go and pick up Gracelyn from school. When I arrive I'm the last parent to arrive and we still have 10 minutes before school is out.

I feel about a dozen or so pairs of eyes descend on me before the first mother makes her move.

"Mr. Grey, I'm Desiree Roman, Paige's mom. You know my daughter can't stop talking about Gracelyn and I would love to set-up a play date between our daughters," she says and I notice that she isn't wearing a ring.

I can't be rude so I decide to give her Gail's work cell phone number.

"You can call this number to arrange a play date," I say rather coldly but I don't think she notices.

After Ms. Roman walks away, the rest of the mothers do the same thing. Do they think I'm going to be their playmate too? They have another thing coming.

When the bell rings, the children begin filing out of the classroom, but just like yesterday I spy Gracelyn with Ms. Whittier.

"Daddy, I was just talking to Ms. Whittier about if she wanted to come over tonight for dinner," she says and I know exactly what she's up to. "Is that okay? I don't think Gail will mind."

"What if Ms. Whittier has plans?"

"She doesn't I already asked." Of course she did.

"Well in that case, Ms. Whittier would you like to join us for dinner at our house?"

I can't believe I just asked her out courtesy of my daughter.

I can tell that she looks uncomfortable at the thought of dining at the home of her student.

"I would like that, Gracelyn says that your housekeeper makes the best lasagna and that's my favorite."

That was Ana's favorite dish of Gail's too.

"That she does. How about we say six?" Gracelyn recites our address and my cell phone number so if she gets lost she can call me.

All the way to the car my daughter can't stop smiling.

"I told you that she liked you daddy."

"Oh Gracelyn, Ms. Whittier is just coming over for dinner nothing more."

"But it's a date."

I don't have the energy to argue with my daughter so I just leave it there.

When we get home, I head into my office as Gracelyn hops off to chat with Gail about our dinner menu.

At five to six, I hear the door bell ring and suddenly I feel nervous.

"Daddy she's here," my daughter announces as I make my way to the front door.

I open the door to find Ms. Whittier looking beautiful in a navy sundress and her hair falls in loose curls down her shoulders.

"Thank you for inviting me to dinner Gracelyn," she says handing her a little bouquet of flowers.

"It was my daddy's idea," she says. I don't know what I'm going to do with my little matchmaker.

"Well in that case, thank you Mr. Grey," she says and smiles.

"Please call me Christian Ms. Whittier."

"Only if you call me Tenley."

We head into the dining room to find it lit by candles. I think my little matchmaker had a little friend and then I notice that there are only two place settings.

"Have fun you two," Gracelyn says with her little sly smile.

"Aren't you eating with us?"

"Oh Gail fed me earlier," She says before skipping off upstairs.

"I'm sorry I had no idea that my daughter had this in mind for tonight," I admit and I'm embarrassed.

"Clearly," she says.

"If you don't feel comfortable I would understand."

Instead she surprises me and takes a seat.

"Well, as long as I'm here I don't think we should let this food go back to waste."

I take my seat and Gail comes out with our salads and a bottle of red wine.

Gail has that same smile on her face.

I pour myself a glass and then I offer Tenley a glass.

"Water is fine," she says.

Maybe I should be drinking water too? I put my wine down and take a sip of my water.

For the next hour I have a great conversation with Tenley and I find her very interesting besides being very beautiful.

"Thank for inviting me to dinner," she says as we both get up. "It's getting late and I should be getting home."

I can tell that she's nervous but probably not as nervous as I am.

I walk Tenley out to her car and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. Do I shake her hand or kiss her?

"I had a really nice time," she says lingering by her door and this is the perfect opportunity to lean in and take her mouth with mine.

I make the conscious decision to kiss this woman.

I lean down and I can't gauge her reaction.

"I'm sorry but I have a fiancé," she says placing her hands on my chest and instantly I freeze. No one but my daughter and Ana have touched my chest with their hands and I'm not sure how I feel about that but it feels good until she tells me that she's unavailable.

What? Why would she agree to come over to have dinner with me if she was involved? In our hour long conversation she never once mentioned that she was engaged? I glance down and there is no ring on her finger.

"I mean I had a fiancé and I'm not sure if I'm ready to move on."

"My apologies, I'm sorry."

"Please don't apologize; I don't know why I came here tonight. I really like your daughter and she was so insistent about me coming over for dinner. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come."

And with that she starts her car and backs away staring at me the entire time and that's when I know that I want this woman.


	17. Chapter 17

**_To all those guest reviewers out there who couldn't bear to write a constructive review, this is for you. I am continuing my story the way I want it to go. If you don't want to read it, don't. I don't understand why people have to be so negative in their reviews as its so uncalled for. This is FAN FICTION not real life. I write because I enjoy it and this is a hobby of mine. I'm all for constructive reviews and PMs, but if you want to get nasty and call me names don't bother._**

**_Thank you to all those people who enjoy my story and continue with the awesome reviews and PMs. I am doing this for you and you give me the strength to continue writing MY story even though those negative guest reviewers makes it tough._**

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**_Tenley POV_**

What am I doing? I knew that I shouldn't have accepted Gracelyn's invitation to dinner but the look on that little girl's face I couldn't possibly say no. Then to have the most amazing dinner with Christian after we were obviously set-up by his daughter who was trying to turn our casual dinner into a date. I know that Christian had no idea what Gracelyn had planned by just the look on his face so that's why I decided to stay, plus I was interested in learning a little more about _the _Christian Grey.

Then when Christian walked me out I knew he was just as nervous as I was. When we said our goodnights, part of me wanted him to kiss me as did the butterflies in my stomach but the other part of me was saying that it's too soon as I'm not sure if I'm ready to move on.

When I back out of his driveway, I can't take my eyes off of the man who is staring daggers at me. I feel so bad for ending our night this way but I couldn't lead the man on, I mean I just took off my engagement ring last month for God's sake, how could I do this to Blake?

The drive home seems to take forever, but when I do arrive home I pour myself a large glass of red wine and sit on the couch and stare at the photo right in front of my face. Blake and I would have celebrated our one-year anniversary last week instead, I'm sitting all alone in the home that we purchased together and the only memory I have of him are the photos of him that I will treasure forever.

I don't know what came over me as I down my third glass of wine, I pull out my phone and text him.

Tenley: Christian, I'm so sorry for tonight.

I wait what seems like hours but in reality was three minutes before Christian responds.

Christian: It's my fault, I crossed the line, and you're my daughter's teacher.

Oh that's not good. How do I tell him that I wanted to kiss him but my love for Blake is still in the back of my mind? I know from Gracelyn's file that her mother died when she was a baby so I know Christian is going through the same thing as me.

Tenley: The thing is that I wanted to kiss you.

The wine is helping me to reveal my true feelings to the beautiful man that I spent a wonderful evening with.

Christian doesn't text me back and I don't know how to react. I know I must be sending him so many mixed signals. I think its best that I just leave it alone and treat him as one of my parents and end whatever we had.

I throw on a pair of yoga pants and tank top and jump into bed. My mind is racing a million miles and I can't seem to calm down. I decide to go for a run. I'm grateful that my street is well lit and hopefully I can run out all of my emotions.

I grab my keys and open the front door and I'm shocked as to who is standing on my doorstep.

"Christian, what are you doing..."

He cuts me off by grabbing my face and crushed his lips to mine. His lips are soft and full of confidence and I nearly faint at the power of our first kiss. Finally he pulls away and we are left to catch our breath.

"I wanted to give you a proper goodnight kiss," he says and turns around and walks down to his car.

**_Christian POV_**

When Tenley texted me tonight I was running on my treadmill trying to figure out what I did wrong and then she confessed she wanted to kiss me, I knew I had to do something about it.

I tell Taylor that I'm going out for a drive but I think he knows exactly where I'm going. Gracelyn has been asleep for nearly an hour so I tell Gail to keep an eye on her and I will be right back.

I'm a man on a mission when I make the 20 minute drive to Tenley's house. I wonder what she is going to say when I just show up.

As I pull up to her house I realize that I never texted her back. Shit, what must she think of me?

I take a long slow breath, head to her front door and I'm shocked when I see the door already opening. Does she know that I'm here?

Fuck me, what is she wearing? I need to keep a level head but to see her in those skin tight black yoga pants and super tight pink tank top is causing me a very large problem in my sweatpants.

"Christian, what are you doing..." She says when she finally looks at me.

I decide not to say anything but just do what I came here to do. I take her soft face into my hands and kiss her.

Her lips taste so sweet and I can tell that she's had some delicious wine. I decide not to push my luck and I don't touch anything besides her face.

"I wanted to give you a proper goodnight kiss," I say and walk back to my car and I don't look back.

I drive home thinking that I want so much more from this woman and it scares me.

A few minutes later, my phone alerts me that I have a new text message.

At the stoplight I look at my phone and my heart skips a beat when I see that it's from Tenley.

Tenley: That was the best goodnight kiss I've ever had.

Well, I'm glad that she thought it was as good as I thought it was.

Christian: Me too. I can't wait until I can do it again.

Tenley: Me either.

Now, I have to play my cards right with my next move

Christian: Could I take you on a proper date without the aid of our little matchmaker?

Tenley: I was hoping you would ask.

Christian: Tomorrow night?

Tenley: Name a time and place.

Christian: 7pm and I will pick you up.

Tenley: Perfect. I will see you tomorrow.

Christian: Sleep tight.

I know I will.

When I get home, I feel like I've got a dopey grin on my face and instead of facing a ton of questions. I bid Gail and Taylor goodnight and head off to bed.

Last night was the first time in years that Gracelyn woke me up.

"How was your big date?" She says jumping on my bed.

"It was good and just so you know I'm taking Ms. Whittier out to dinner tonight. But first you and I need to have a little talk."

"I knew it. I told you that you were going to fall in love and get married."

"Wait a minute Gracelyn, I just had dinner with her last night and we are friends that's it."

"I know but then you will fall in love and she will be my new mommy."

I don't know how to break it to her that I'm unsure if I ever want to get married again. I will bring this up with Dr. Martins when we visit with her today.

"Gracelyn, Ms. Whittier is very nice but I don't think she will be your mommy."

"Well, just think about it okay?"

I smile and nod.

I arrive early so I can speak privately with Dr. Martins and my concerns about _Sleeping Beauty_ and going on a date with Gracelyn's teacher. She reassures me that what I'm doing is normal and that I need to go on living my life, but I need to set boundaries with Gracelyn and whoever I decide to date. She did say that by engaging in a relationship outside of school with Tenley will confuse her but that we need to be have an honest conversation. Gracelyn is a very bright little girl and I've never had to dumb-down anything to her but we've never had to talk about me dating before now.

**_Gracelyn POV_**

"Did my daddy tell you that he's going to give me a new mommy," I say to Dr. Martins who is a very nice lady and I like talking to her because I know sometimes when I talk to my daddy about these kinds of things he gets sad and I don't like to see him sad.

"Gracelyn, why do you think you're going to get a new mommy?" Dr. Martins said.

"Because he had dinner with my teacher and they are going on another date tonight."

"You know that sometimes daddies can have friends and that doesn't mean they are going to get married."

"I know that, but you should see my daddy with Ms. Whittier. He's happy and smiles and I like to see him smile. I know he misses my mommy and that makes him sad. I want him happy and I know Ms. Whittier makes him happy."

"What do you think will happen if you daddy and Ms. Whittier decide just to be friends and don't get married?"

"Well, then I will just have to find him someone who can make him as happy as my mommy did before she died."

**_Christian POV_**

It has been more than an hour since Gracelyn walked into Dr. Martins' office. I hope that everything is going well in there.

A few minutes later, Gracelyn appears and she is looks just as happy as she did walking in.

"Daddy, I want you to know that if you don't marry Ms. Whittier I will be okay with that, I just want you to be happy."

"Baby, I am happy, you make me happy."

"You tell me that all the time."

"Because it's the truth," I say and pick her up in my arms and kiss her sweet cheeks.

I sit with Gracelyn as she eats dinner and then I go upstairs and change my clothes. I told Tenley to dress casual for tonight as I want to have a little fun.

I'm a few minutes early when I pull into Tenley's driveway. I tell Taylor that I want to go on a normal date tonight without any security so I drive myself but I know full well that he is somewhere lurking but he will keep his distance and out of my eye line.

I knock on the door and Tenley opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman dressed in dark denim, high heels and some kind of white blouse under a black jacket.

"You look stunning," I say and hold out my hand for her and she takes it without thinking twice and we interlace our fingers and it feels so good. To be honest all I want to do is kiss those juicy lips but I want to do this right.

"You look very nice too," she says as I help her into my car. "Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"It's a surprise."

We chit chat in the car and there is an obvious attraction between the two of us. I can barely control my thoughts when I look over at her.

I pull up to Canlis Restaurant and instantly Tenley's face lights up.

"How did you know this is my favorite restaurant?"

I didn't, but I'm off to a good start.

"It's my favorite."

We are shown to the chef's table and I know that I've impressed her but I need to keep a hold of myself.

"Wine?"

"It's not a school night, so I would love a glass."

I let Tenley select the wine and I'm blown away by her taste as she selects my favorite bottle.

Just like last night we had great conversation but I know we still haven't discussed our past relationships and it's almost like the elephant in the room. I know that Tenley won't bring up Ana so I know I have to bring up her fiancé.

"You said last night that you had a fiancé?"

I see the look on her face and I'm sorry that I asked her but I would like to know.

"I did, his name was Blake and he's been gone for two years."

Shit, I just thought that they had broken off his engagement not that he died. Now I feel like an ass.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I know you know what it feels like even thought Blake wasn't my husband. Blake was killed in a car accident six months before we were supposed to get married."

"My Ana died of cancer right after Gracelyn turned one."

"Does it get any better," she asks as I reach over and take her hand.

"With time, but I still miss her every second of the day and Gracelyn is the spitting image of her."

Was that too much to share, I hope not. I want to be honest with the woman sitting in front of me.

"I feel the same way. It's refreshing to talk to someone who feels the exact same way."

I couldn't agree more. I don't have any friends who have lost a spouse or significant partner so Tenley knows exactly what I'm going through.

When we arrive back at Tenley's, I open her door and take her hand yet again and when we get to the front door I freeze.

She unlocks her door and starts to walk in and starts to pull me inside.

"I think I need to say goodnight right here," I say and lean down and graze my lips against hers. I feel her mouth start to open and I want nothing more to deepen the kiss but instead I finish the kiss and head back to my car. I just sit behind the wheel attempting to catch my breath and thinking I just blew it with Ms. Whittier.


	18. Chapter 18

**_Tenley POV_**

What was I thinking? I don't know if it was the wine or just my body talking, but I wanted to see where our evening would go; now I've ruined it. First, I wouldn't let Christian kiss me last night and now he's turning me down.

Maybe this isn't meant to be. I crossed a line that no teacher should and who pays for in the end is Gracelyn. What am I going to do now? Do I quit because I don't think I can ever face Christian again or do I have Gracelyn transferred to MaryAnn's class?

I never did fall asleep last night, I just held my phone tightly in my hand hoping and praying that Christian would reach out to me but he didn't and I know that it's over.

When I arrive at school I pull MaryAnn, who is my best friend at school and the only person who knows about my two dates with Christian, aside and ask her advice.

"You really care for him don't you?"

I nod.

"I don't know what to do. I don't want Gracelyn to pay for my mistake."

"You need to keep it professional and if that doesn't work then I would love to have Gracelyn in my class."

I'm grateful that Gracelyn arrives without her father this morning, I don't know what I would do if I saw him. I don't know if I'm more hurt or embarrassed by my very brazen move. I haven't felt this way about anyone since Blake and it scares me. I have loved Blake since I was 15 years old and he's the only person I've ever been with. I enviosned my life married with kids to the love of my life and then he was taken away. Do people really get a second chance at love?

I'm glad that Gracelyn hasn't said anything to me about my date with her father. I was prepping myself all day to talk to her if she brought it up but she didn't so I know it's no big deal. Christian must go out with women all the time, what would make me so special. After all, he is the World's Most Eligible Bachelor.

In fact, I don't see or hear from Christian Grey for two weeks and I've tried to move on but it's terribly hard. Tonight is Back to School Night so I anticipate seeing him here or at least I hope that I will see him.

Afterschool I head home and shower and get changed. I decide that I need to really make a statement to Christian but I don't know what. I decide to look my very best, probably a bit too much for Back to School Night but I don't give a damn.

I decide on a red v-neck short dress that is school appropriate while bordering on naughty school teacher and my black fuck me heels. I curl every inch of my hair and loosely pull it up and put on my black rimmed glasses.

When I get back to school MaryAnn is the first to greet me.

"Damn Whittier, what are you wearing?"

"Is it a bit much?"

"Not for the statement you are going for. I think I need to borrow your outfit, Mark would surely appreciate a little special tutoring."

I giggle and say it's hers anytime. Mark has been a Godsend. When I need some help around the house, MaryAnn's husband is there for me. He and Blake were starting to be really great friends too in fact he had asked Mark to be a groomsmen right before the accident.

By seven o'clock the first of my parents arrive and I think everyone does a double take when they see me.

I'm still waiting for him to arrive. By five after, I figure he's not coming, he's a very busy man and I decide to get started. I welcome my parents, introduce the curriculum and go over what their students have done in the two weeks since school has started when he arrives and my heart skips a beat.

He freezes in place and apologizes to me with his eyes. I have no idea what I'm doing or what I've just said. I'm so flustered right now. What this man does to me is a little overwhelming.

After a quick question and answer session, parents walk around the room to visit their child's desk to see their progress and their artwork. I see Christian standing by Gracelyn's desk and he looks like he wants to talk to me. I have a few parents come up and talk to me individually, mainly my two divorced fathers who just stare at me and my dress and not into my eyes. Over the intercom Principal Edward Stanley invites all parents into the auditorium for a parents meeting. I start to clean up when I feel someone is still lingering in my room.

"Ms. Whittier, may I have a word with you?" He says walking rather cautiously up to my desk.

"Christian, please call me Tenley," I respond with a half-smile.

"Tenley, I'm sorry about the other night, but I'm more sorry for never calling you. My behavior that night was unacceptable and I owe you an explanation."

"Christian you don't have to apologize, I crossed the line and I should be the one to say I'm sorry."

"I haven't been with anyone since my wife died and I panicked, I really like you and I know that I screwed up, but I would like a second or more like third chance."

"Me either," I admit and he knows exactly what I mean.

We walk closer together until we are barely touching. He caresses my cheek and removes my glasses.

"Do you have any idea how stunning you look tonight?"

"I was hoping you would like it," I say with a slight blush.

"You did all of this for me?"

I smile and nod then wait for him to make the next move which he quickly does by kissing my lips. It doesn't take long before I'm deepening the kiss by sliding my tongue into Christian's mouth and he does me one step better by pulling me closer to his chest and pressed his hand to the small of my back.

"Tenley, you're needed in the…" MaryAnn says walking into my room and then quickly turns on her heel when she catches me with Christian.

We are both left trying to catch our breath.

"I have to go," I say putting my glasses back on as I brace myself against my desk.

"Do you have any plans after this?"

"Hopefully with you," I say making my intentions quite known.

"I will find you after," He promises before quickly kissing my lips before slipping out the door.

**_Christian POV_**

I haven't been able to take my eyes off of Tenley since I entered her classroom tonight. There are no words to describe it and then to know that she did it for me is icing on the cake. After another excruciating hour of listening to Principal Stanley, I still can't stop staring at Tenley who is making her intentions quite known. She keeps crossing her legs yet never revealing anything, which is way more of a tease, and licking her lips.

Fuck, how am I going to be able to walk out of this auditorium without my rather large boner in my pants?

I'm able to regain my composure and inform Taylor of my plans. When I find Tenley locking up her room, I sneak up to her and pin her against the door knowing that no one is around.

My hot breath on her neck causes her hair to stick up on its end.

"Where would you like to go?"

"My place?"

I follow Tenley out to the parking lot and I slip in the passenger seat.

"What are you doing?"

"I thought you could drive me?"

"How did you get here?"

"Taylor."

She accepts that and we drive back to her house in silence. The only sound in the car is our ragged breaths.

We arrive back at her house and I walk behind her until we are safely inside.

By the time the kitchen door closes behind me, my hands are all over her body as our hers. I reach around and unzip her naughty dress, turn her around and kiss her delicate back.

"I like this dress, but I didn't like those other men staring at you."

"What other men," She says gliding her hands in my hair.

Fuck this feels amazing.

She's wearing a matching red lace bra and thong. Tenley makes quick work of my shirt and pants.

When I'm left in just my boxer briefs, Tenley surprises me once again by jumping on me and wrapping her legs around my waist and begins to kiss my neck.

"Bedroom?" I say and she points down the hall.

I barely make it to her room before I unclasp her bra and then set her on the bed as she quickly pulls my boxer briefs down.

I watch her eyes widen when she takes me in.

Tenley lies down and begins to pull down her thong, but I stop her.

"Oh no, I want this pleasure," I say and slide my hands inside the sides and slowly pull her thong down.

I can tell that she's just as nervous as I am because her legs are slightly shaking as are my hands. As much as I want to make love to her, I'm scared that I can't. I try not to think about the last time I made love with my wife over four years ago.

"Christian are you sure you're ready for this?" Tenley whispers and I know she sees that I'm conflicted about this. She sits up slightly and touches my face with her soft hand.

Then I know that I'm doing what I want to do.

I lean into her hand and kiss her lips as I remove the last scrap of fabric between us.

I hover over her beautiful body and right before I position myself at her entrance I stop.

Shit, I don't have any condoms. I never thought I would be here at this moment.

"I'm on the pill but here," Tenley says leaning over and pulling a condom out of her bedside table.

"I was hoping after our last date," she says with a slight blush.

I give her a curious look as she just rips open the foil package and slides it on me and I nearly lose it right then.

Snap out of it Grey!

"I want you so much," I say as I glide into her and she feels amazing.

"Oh Christian," Tenley moans and arches her back.

Fuck, I never thought just how much I missed this.

"You feel incredible," I say and slowly start to move in and out as I fill her completely.

"Faster Christian," Tenley whispers and I obey.

I need to be as close with her as I can so I pull her against my chest and sit up so we are chest to chest. We are both breathing hard as I feel her tighten all around me and I know that she is close and I'm holding out until she finds her release first. I know I can't hold on much longer as I pull her harder and deeper onto me.

"I want you to come," I say looking into her face and we are both staring into each other's eyes. It's just an intense moment and I capture her lips with mine when I feel her orgasm take control of her body and I finally can let go.

We stay in the same position just looking at each other and not saying a word. I don't know how long we were looking at each other before she finally spoke.

"That was the most intense thing I have ever experienced," she says and kisses me.

And for the first time in four years I feel happy, happy to be with another woman.


	19. Chapter 19

**_Tenley POV_**

I wake up with my head on Christian's chest and his arms wrapped tightly around me. We finally fell asleep around three in the morning after we made love a few more times until I couldn't take anymore. As much as I loved Blake, making love with Christian was unbelievable. I didn't know sex could be like that. I know that he knows exactly what he is doing and there is so much more that I want to learn from him. I try to stretch but my whole body is sore.

"Good morning," Christian says and I look up to see the beautiful man smiling down at me. I'm so glad that he decided to stay the night. I don't know what I would have done if he left.

"Morning," I say as he leans down and kisses my lips and then I feel that pull inch of my body. "I need to get ready for work."

It's only five but I didn't know what else to say, it's my first awkward post-sex encounter with a man.

"Could I use your shower," he asks and I nod.

He takes my face and kisses me again very carefully this time before I finally unwrap myself from around him and he gets up.

I stare at the perfection that is his body as he heads into my shower.

Part of me wants to watch the show but another part of me wants to join him in the shower.

I hear the door close behind him and I have this internal battle of what I want to do.

I listen to the most needed organ of my body and tip toe into my bathroom and open the door.

"Need a hand?" I say and he turns around with the water running down his face and smiles and holds out his hand.

**_Christian POV_**

Last night was incredible, I don't know how to describe what Tenley and I had. Making love to her was much different from Ana and in a way I'm grateful for that. When Ana and I made love it was like we made the whole world disappear and it was just her and I in the world and I never want to lose that feeling.

Being with Tenley was different, more animalistic in a way but also very tender. The connection we shared was different from Ana but yet the same in many ways and that makes me so confused. I didn't think about the implications about us taking our relationship to this level but when she told me that she loved me it just felt right but still in the back of my mind I don't know how to feel. Part of me feels like I'm letting Ana go and that has never been my intention. Ana will always have the special place in my heart that no one can touch that but with Tenley she makes me feel like I can love again because of her.

Now I wake up to her head on my chest and it feels so right. Last night I dropped my guard and let her touch my chest and I never flinched. It was nice to have someone be close with me again. I hated having to get up but I need to be home before Gracelyn wakes up. There has never been a day that I haven't been with my daughter in the morning and there is no way I'm going to start now. Even when I've had to travel overseas, Gracelyn is always with me, I don't think I could be separated from her.

I feel a pair of eyes staring at me as I walk to the shower naked so I decide to take my time and flex my ass before I turn the water on.

I'm just finishing washing my hair when I hear the shower door open behind me and I was waiting for Tenley to join me, I was hoping she would join me but I wasn't sure.

"Need a hand," a sweet voice says behind me and I can feel my face light up.

"Always," I say when I turn around and take in the full beauty that is this woman standing in front of me.

She takes the body wash in her hands and stars to massage my chest and it feeling incredible. She is staring at me the whole time with those haunting eyes and I'm lost.

Before I know it she's on her knees and takes me in her mouth.

I throw my hands against the walls of the shower to brace myself.

When I thought my day couldn't get any better I look down.

It doesn't take long before I explode into her mouth.

Fuck, I need to build my stamina back up, this woman is almost overwhelming.

I pull Tenley up off her knees and its payback time.

I kiss her all the way down her body until I'm on my knees. I spread her legs and then hitch her left leg over my shoulder and attack. Fuck she's so wet. I brace her hips with my free hand. I need her to keep still or this won't work. I love just how responsiveness she is to me. I want to make her feel like how I'm feeling at this moment.

As we end our shower, I call Taylor so he can pick me up. I start a pot of coffee while Tenley gets dressed. When she emerges into the kitchen I give her a kiss and hand her the coffee.

"You didn't have to do this," she says barely grazing my hand with hers as she takes the mug out of my hand.

"I wanted to."

"Are you ready to go?"

"I have Taylor coming to pick me up."

I see that she's a little hurt but she understands.

"When can I see you again," I ask as we stand gazing at each other in the kitchen.

"Tonight too soon," she says and I smile.

"Well, Gracelyn and I have our weekly date night so how about you come out with us tomorrow on my boat and we can make a whole day of it."

"I would like that."

"So would I."

A few minutes later, I see Taylor pull up.

"Can I call you later?" I ask as she walks me to the door.

"You better."

I open the door and turn around to kiss her goodbye.

It kills me that I have to leave but I have a sweet little five-year-old waiting for me and she is my first priority.

As I walk to my car I can't stop smiling.

"How is Gracelyn?"

Taylor turns around and he's smiling.

"Still sleeping sir."

"Good."

When we get back to the house, I quickly head to my room, change my clothes and go into my daughter's room where she's still sleeping.

I could watch her for hours but it's time that she gets up to begin her day.

"Wake up princess," I say and brush her curls away from her face.

"Morning daddy," she says opening one eye at a time before wrapping her arms around me.

Now this is why I wanted to be home before she woke up. This is my favorite part of my day.

"So what are we doing tonight?"

"Can we go to a movie and dinner?"

"Sounds like a plan," I say. "And guess what we are doing tomorrow?"

She looks at me and waits for my surprise.

"We are going on the boat."

I decide not to tell her that Tenley will be coming with us so I guess that will be the second part of my surprise.

"Can we have a picnic too?"

"Of course, don't we always."

"You are the best daddy in the world."

"Well, you are the best daughter in the world."

"Can you take me to school today?" She surprises me but I can't wait to see Tenley again.

"If that's what you want?"

Gracelyn is dressed and is finishing her breakfast when I receive a text from Tenley and I smile reading her words

Tenley: WOW! Last night was incredible. Is it too much to tell you that I miss you already.

Christian: I was just thinking the same thing. I can't wait to see you again.

Tenley: I don't know if I can wait until tomorrow.

Me either.

Gracelyn holds my hand as we walk down the hall and I can feel my heart beat faster the closer we get to Tenley.

"Daddy, you're squeezing my hand too hard," she says and I look down and loosen my grip.

"I'm sorry baby."

When we reach the classroom, we are a little early and Tenley has her back to us as she's writing the schedule on the board.

I'm tempted to sneak up behind her and kiss her neck but I realize that we're not alone.

"Good morning Ms. Whittier," Gracelyn announced spoiling any kind of plan I come up with.

She turns around and then when her eyes meet mine, I see her face light up.

"Well good morning Gracelyn and Mr. Grey it's nice to see you again." I can hear the real meaning behind that comment and I smile and wink.

"You too Ms. Whittier."

"Daddy," I hear Gracelyn call out but I can't focus on anything by Tenley.

"Earth to Daddy."

"What is it baby?" I finally say looking down to her and my daughter knows what's going on.

"I said you can go to work now."

"Oh yes, well I will see you tonight."

When I get to work I can't even concentrate on anything besides my date with Tenley tomorrow, but I don't know I can wait until tomorrow.

I'm on edge all afternoon and finally when I arrive home I find Gracelyn dressed up and ready to go.

"I'm ready daddy."

"Okay, well let me go change and we will leave in ten minutes."

I run upstairs and take a very cold shower as all throughout the day Tenley and I have exchanged some naughty texts and I've practically begged if I can come over tonight after I put Gracelyn to bed. I don't think I can hold off until tomorrow and Tenley reassures me that it will be all worth it tomorrow night as its Gracelyn's slumber party with Aunt Mia and Uncle Sawyer.

I haven't told Mia let alone anyone else about Tenley and I'm not sure how I'm going to bring it up. I guess I will have to say something when I show up with her at their house.

**_Tenley POV_**

It was such a nice surprise when Christian showed up with Gracelyn this morning. Then for the rest of the day Christian kept texting me. I felt bad that I couldn't respond right away but then at lunch time he surprises me by sending a catered lunch. I couldn't believe it when I was called down to the office for a delivery.

I called and thanked him for my delicious lunch and he was too cute on the phone. He told me that Gracelyn has plans after our boat trip and I get excited that we are going to spend the night together. I did hear it in his voice that he's not ready for me to come over to his house which is totally understandable. So I invited him over to my house and he quickly accepted.

When I get home, I change and decide to go out on a run, but then I hear the doorbell. I think it's Christian so I run to my door to find a floral deliveryman who has a massive bouquet for me.

I take them inside and have to find two large vases for the beautiful white and pink roses.

I take out the card and read it and I can't believe what is written down.

"Here is one flower for every time I thought about you since this morning. Looking forward to tomorrow. Christian."

There must be more than 100 roses. I am blown away by this man.

I know he's on his daddy/daughter date night and I don't want to take away from that so I send him a text message thanking him for the flowers.

He's quick to respond saying he can't wait to see me tomorrow.

When I wake up it's a beautiful sunny September Saturday. I throw on a cute bikini that is appropriate and a sun dress and pack a cardigan just in case it's windy.

Christian insisted that he pick me up at 10 and I'm a little nervous as I'm not sure how Gracelyn will react when she sees me. I make sure that my house is perfectly clean when I see Christian pull up.

**_Christian POV_**

When Gracelyn woke up this morning, I knew that I had to tell her about our special guest who will be joining us.

"You almost ready to go princess?"

"I just have to grab my purse," she says. Gracelyn can't go anywhere without her purse. She has never let me see what's in it, but if she needs it, I don't argue with her.

"We have to make one stop before we get on the boat."

"Where are we going?" She asks as we walk hand in hand down the stairs.

"We are going to pick up someone."

"Ms. Whittier right?"

How in the hell did she know?

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Mommy told me."

I stop in my tracks and look down at my daughter.

"What?"

"Remember how you told me and mommy in her videos that I can talk to her in my dreams?"

"Yes."

"Well, I talked to mommy in my dream and told her that I needed an Earth mommy and she said that she was sending one to me and she said it was going to be Ms. Whittier."

I can't believe the words that are coming out of my daughter's mouth.

"You remind me more and more of your mommy do you know that?"

"Do you miss her as much as I do?"

I take her hand again and look into her eyes and say, "Princess I miss her everyday, I love your mommy very much and will never stop loving her. She is the most amazing person I have ever met and the best part was that she gave me you."

I asked Taylor to check the boat as I want today to be as normal and relaxed as possible so it will just be the three of us on the water.

When we pull up I see Tenley in the window and I'm excited about our adventure for today.

"Can I go get her," Gracelyn asks when I cut the engine.

"How about we both go?"

I have to pull my daughter back and she tries to beat me to the door. I let her hit the doorbell but I know that Tenley already knows that we're here.

"Good morning Ms. Whittier," Gracelyn says when Tenley opens the door and stuns me again with her beauty.

"How about this Gracelyn, when we're not at school you can call me Tenley, I mean if that's okay with your daddy."

I smile at her and tell it that it's okay.

Gracelyn takes Tenley's hand and mine and we walk back to the car together.

Today was amazing. Our trip was magical and to watch Tenley with my daughter is simply breathtaking. They get along so well; it feels so natural to have her with us.

We've had a marvelous day and I almost hate that it's over but I look forward to the second part of our date. We drive to my sister's house and I can see that Tenley is nervous. She's already met Mia so she has nothing to worry about.

When we arrive, Gracelyn jumps out quickly as I grab her suitcase. Tenley is still in the car, so I walk over and open her door.

"Come with me please," I say holding my hand out to her and I smile when she takes it.

We make our way up to the front door, Mia answers and immediately looks to Tenley and before she sees our hands intertwined, she smiles.

"Ms. Whittier, it's nice to see you again," she says and Tenley smiles.

"Please call me Tenley."

Mia looks over at me and I can tell that she's hiding something.

"Well, I won't keep you too, have a great time," Mia says and takes Gracelyn's hand and they go inside.

When I arrive at Tenley's I can't wait to take her again and again. We barely make it inside before we're both totally naked.

We finally make it to her room when my phone won't stop ringing.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

"I need to answer it," I say and head into the living room to grab my phone.

"Sawyer, what's wrong, is Gracelyn okay?"

"She's fine, she's with Kate and Elliott and our kids. Mia's water broke and we are on the way to the hospital and your sister is asking for you.

I run back to Tenley and tell her to get dressed and we both head to the hospital.

"Are you sure that you want me with you?"

I couldn't think why not.

"Please," I say and kiss her hand before we get into my car.


	20. Chapter 20

**_Christian POV_**

"Christian there is something I need to talk to you about," Mia says while I hold my new little nephew Greyson and it's only the three of us.

"What is it?"

"Before Ana died she told me something and I think now's the time to tell you."

I brace myself for what she's about to tell me and when I look at her face I see the tears streaming down.

"Mia, tell me."

"She said she didn't want you to be alone after she died. She told me that she had a dream more like a premonition and she said she saw you happy and the woman you were holding hands with was a woman named Tenley."

"What?"

"I know I didn't believe her when she told me and then when I met Tenley on the first day of school I was nearly blown over. Ana was right, not just about that but so many things. Then to see the two of you tonight and the way you look at each other, this is the way that Ana wanted it to be."

From under her blanket she pulls out an envelope and I know what it contains.

"You know what to do with this," she says and hands it to me.

I open the envelope and I'm shocked to find two letters and two DVDs, they are addressed to Tenley and me.

I look up at Mia and I don't know how to respond.

"You love Tenley don't you?" She asks and I'm dumbstruck.

"I'm not sure what I feel."

"You're lying; you know I'm the only one that can tell."

Do I love Tenley?

"I care for her deeply and for me it's more than just physically. We connect on such a level, I don't know how to explain it and after today maybe I am in love with her. I feel like I'm betraying my love and what I had with Ana."

"You know that I knew Ana almost as much as you did and you are not betraying your love, believe me."

I look up at Mia and I can feel the tears.

"She loves you too, you know."

"How do you know?"

"Oh Christian, it's obvious to anyone. Even Gracelyn sees it."

"Did she tell you about her dream?"

"She couldn't stop talking about your boat trip, how much she loves Tenley and how her mommy wants her to be her new Earth mommy."

"You don't think it's too soon?"

"It's been four years Christian; I think you have grieved in your own way and Ana wanted you to move on. Tenley can never replace Ana as her mother and you know that. Tenley can love Gracelyn like her daughter while never taking away that Ana is her biological mother.

"I'm still in love with Ana and I don't know if I can love Tenley too."

"You will never stop loving her and Tenley knows that, but I think you two need to talk about where your relationship is going, knowing that Gracelyn is also a huge part of your relationship. What you and Ana had was one in a million but your heart is capable of loving someone else and that's because of Ana she taught you that you are worthy of being loved that's why she was an amazing person and my best friend.

I walk into the waiting room and find Tenley with my mother.

"Christian," My mom says.

"Mia would like to see you."

"Ready to go?"

I take Tenley's hand and we drive back to her house.

We don't talk, I just hold onto her hand.

After I pull into her driveway, I turn and face Tenley.

"I need to tell you something," I say and I'm so scared.

"You don't want to see me again?"

"No, why would you say that?"

"Because of the way you have been acting since you and Mia talked."

"I love you," I blurt out and I watch her eyes widen.

I don't know if I expected her to say anything right away but at least say something.

"Christian…" I cut her off.

"I had to tell you and then I need to give you something."

I hand her the letter and DVD.

"This is from Ana and she meant this for you."

She looks at her name on the envelopes and she looks up at me.

"I think she will explain it all."

She gets out of the car and stops to turn around to see that I've stayed put.

"You're not coming?"

"I need you to look at what Ana left you and then I need you to think about what I told you."

"Goodnight," she says and walks in her front door.

I feel heartbroken and I don't know what Tenley is going to say to me.

When I get home, I head straight to my study after checking with Elliott who says that Gracelyn is sleeping and that I could pick her up tomorrow morning.

I put the DVD into my computer and I read the letter when the DVD is loading.

I sit back and read the words that Ana has written me.

_My darling Christian, if you are reading this then I know that you have fallen in love. I'm not sure if Mia told you about my conversation with her but I'm assuming that you have found Tenley. I want you to know that I'm okay that you move on and fall in love again. I want you to be happy and I need Gracelyn to have a mother since I can't be there. My only wish is that you don't compare me to Tenley. We are two different women and I know you are capable so much love. I know you will never stop loving me but you need to love her with everything you have and not feel guilty. You promised me and you know that I hate when someone breaks their promises. I love you so much and I hope she loves you just as much as I do and maybe more._

_Love you forever,_

_Ana_

I wouldn't believe it if I didn't read it for myself. I hit play on the DVD and I will never get tired of seeing my beautiful Anastasia's face.

At the end of the movie, I check my phone but Tenley hasn't reached out to me and I feel broken. Maybe this is too much for her.

I don't sleep that night, I just wait by my phone but I hear nothing.

Elliott calls me at eight when Gracelyn wakes up and is asking for me. I drove over there to pick her up before we head to the hospital so she can meet her new cousin.

"You look terrible," Mia says when we enter her room.

"Why thank you."

"I take it you haven't heard from Tenley."

I shake my head not wanting Gracelyn to ask a million questions.

"Just give her time," she says

I shrug my shoulders and just watch my daughter hold the baby.

"Daddy, when do you think I will get a little brother and sister?"

How in the hell am I supposed to answer that?

"I don't know baby."

"Well, you need to hurry up and marry Tenley because we need a baby."

**_Tenley POV_**

This is a lot to process, I can't believe that Christian told me that he loved me and then hands me a DVD and letter from his dead wife, I don't know if I can do this.

I sit on my couch and just hold the letter in my hands for nearly an hour before I gather up enough courage to open it but not before pouring myself a very large glass of wine.

I don't understand why my name is on here and clearly it's a woman's handwriting.

_Tenley, first don't be alarmed that I know who you are, just trust me in writing this letter to you. I assume if you are reading this Christian has fallen in love with you and you have done so also. First, let me thank you for loving him. I trust his decisions and he wouldn't be giving you this if he didn't love you. Christian was the first man I ever loved and he gave me the most incredible three years of my life and also gave me Gracelyn whom I'm assuming you have met and fallen in love with too. My wish for Christian was for him to go on with his life after I was gone. That meant falling in love, finding another partner for him and to give Gracelyn a mother. Christian had a very tough childhood that I assume you know about, if not he will open up when he's ready, just please be patient with him and give him time. Christian is capable of so much love and knowing that he has found you makes me happy. Please take care of him and Gracelyn and love him with everything you have. This is all I ask of you in return._

_Thank you, Ana_

I'm bawling by the time I finish the letter. I can't believe what I'm reading. I feel like I'm in a dream. After I read the letter for a third time I put in the DVD.

The woman in front of me is utterly gorgeous and I see how Christian could fall in love with her. Gracelyn is the spitting image of her mother. She seems like a very nice person and someone I could have easily been friends with. Then I hear a little cry, I see Ana pick up Gracelyn and brings her over to the camera, kisses her sweet cheeks and instantly she is soothed and sleeping on her shoulder. She expands on the letter but to see the words come out of her mouth and explain her dream of seeing Christian and I together, I now know what I must do.

I jump into my car without thinking what time it is. I don't want to talk to Christian over the phone, instead when I get to the gate; I believe Taylor answers and buzzes me in.

I can't get out of my car fast enough, Christian is opening the door and I run into his arms and kiss him.

I pull back and look at his face and smile.

"I love you," I say with all the confidence in the world and the tears just roll down.

"I love you too," he says taking my face and kisses me. I think we are standing on his front porch for what seems like forever.

"Do you want to come in," Christian finally manages to ask me.

"It's late," I say and start to pull away.

"I don't want you to leave, not like this," He says trying to pull me inside.

"I'm never going to leave you, but I don't think its right for me to stay."

Christian knows I'm right and reluctantly lets go of my hand.

"Tomorrow night you're all mine," he says.

"You better believe it," I say and I go in for one last kiss.

"I wish you would reconsider and stay."

"I will always be with you, right here," I say placing my hand over his heart.

He freezes in place. Oh no, what did I say wrong.

**_Christian POV_**

I'm stunned. Those were the last words exactly that Ana said before she died.

I know I'm doing exactly what I should be; this is Ana's final wish for me.

Tenley calls me when she gets home, we talk until the sun comes up and I tell her to clear her schedule as she's mine.

Gracelyn surprises me by sneaking into my room as I finally fell asleep a few minutes ago.

"Wake up daddy, you need to take me to school," she says pulling the covers off of me.

"I'm up," I say and my eyes fly wide open knowing that I will see Tenley in less than an hour.

I send my daughter back to her room to get dressed and I quickly shower and dress.

Gail has a breakfast of champions ready for me and she's grinning ear to ear, so she must know what happened.

"Morning Gail," I say and kiss her cheek.

"And how is your morning, Christian?"

"You and Taylor were spying on me last night weren't you?"

"What?"

"Exactly."

"What did they see?" Gracelyn asks piling another pancake onto her plate.

"Nothing for you to worry about, but I need to talk to you about something."

"Is something wrong?" I see her smile start to waver.

"No, I wanted to talk to you about me and Ms. Whittier dating?"

"Well, she's your girlfriend."

"Yes, but that means you can't be in her class anymore."

"Why not?"

"Well, you just can't."

I explain to her that she can stay in her class but that means we couldn't date and she says that she's okay with the move.

Gracelyn is all settled in her new class and I want to pop my head in and say good morning to the woman I love. She looks so beautiful in her black pencil skirt and blue blouse.

She is all alone, I finally get to sneak up behind her and wrap her up in my arms and she jumps a little. I nuzzle her neck and place small kisses up and down her neck and jaw.

"Christian, what if someone walks in," she says but she's not stopping me, then she turns around and kisses me.

"I don't care, we love each other and this is what people who are in love do."

The next thing I hear are the sounds of several giggles and we look to find three little girls pointing at us.

"Well, I think that's my cue to leave," I say and kiss her cheek.

"Remember dinner at my place at seven."

**_Tenley POV_**

When I get home I can't decide if I should pack a bag. I don't know what Christian expects but I know if I don't have something I will kick myself later.

I stop and get a bottle of my favorite wine before I head over to Christian's.

I'm a bundle of nerves when I pull into the driveway and Gracelyn runs out to greet me.

"Dinner is almost ready, come with me," she says pulling my hand and I grab my wine but decide to leave my bag in the trunk.

Christian is nowhere to be found when I get inside and I say hello to Gail and ask if I can give her a hand in the kitchen but she politely refuses.

I hear his voice before I see him walk into the kitchen and his copper curls are a little wet so I know that he just got out of the shower and I'm turned on. He's wearing a pair of dark jeans and a white linen shirt that is unbuttoned at the top.

My God he is beautiful.

He walks over to me and kisses me.

We have a beautiful meal and enjoy a few glasses of wine. After dinner, Gracelyn informs Christian that she can get ready for bed and then goes over and kisses him and then walks over to me and gives me a hug.

"I'm glad you came over," she says and I'm almost moved to tears. She hugs me so tightly I don't want her to let me go.

I insist on helping Gail clear the table. I know that Christian has gone upstairs to tuck Gracelyn in and I would like to say goodnight. I make my way up to her room, not knowing where I'm going so I just listen for their voices. I stop at the door when I hear them talking about me.

"You love her daddy," Gracelyn says and I peak in and see Christian sitting on her bed with a book in his hands.

"I do, is that okay?"

"I love her too and I know mommy would love her too."

"I think you're right baby."

I don't think I've cried this much in my life than I have in the past few days, but these are happy tears.

I can't keep my voice down and I see that Christian and Gracelyn know that I'm eavesdropping.

Shit.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," I say and Gracelyn invites me in.

"My daddy loves you," she says and she grabs my hand.

"I love your daddy," I announce and Christian smiles.

"Well, I love you and my daddy."

"I love you too Gracelyn."

The tears are now rolling down Christian's face and I can't judge Gracelyn's feelings.

"Will you be my mommy," she asks and I look at Christian and I don't know what to say.


	21. Chapter 21

**_Christian POV_**

I don't know what I'm supposed to say when Tenley looks up at me.

"I think we've had enough excitement one night," I finally say and kiss my daughter and tuck her in. "I love you from the moon and back."

I hit the light and Tenley follows me into my bedroom. I don't realize until she's standing by my bed looking at a photo of Ana, Gracelyn and me that this is the first time I've had another woman besides Ana in here and it's a little strange.

"Will you tell me about her?" She says smiling and I know she is really interested.

"Where do I start? Ana was my whole life. For nearly three years when she was my reason for living. She gave me Gracelyn and just like that she was gone. Anyone who met her fell in love with her. I think you would have really liked her and you would have been friends. It's hard to believe that she's been gone four years. It feels like just yesterday since I've seen her. I miss her every day."

Just thinking about Ana makes me smile, I'm not sad anymore when I talk about her and I know that's what Ana would have wanted. I hope that I didn't make Tenley uncomfortable about what I had to say about my wife.

"She seems like an amazing woman," she says and sets down the photo.

"That she was," I say and walk over and take her hand, pull her into my chest and I wrap my arms around her tightly. "Are you sure you're ready for this? I mean it's not just me, Gracelyn is part of the package and all of my issues."

"I love you and Gracelyn," she says and brushes her lips with mine.

Even though I knew she loved the both of us it was still nice to hear.

I slide my hands behind Tenley and quickly turn her around and unzip her dress and let it fall to the ground. I skim my fingers along her skin and I feel the goose bumps form on her back. I sweep her hair to the side, kiss her neck and I hear her moan then I feel my pants starting to tighten.

"Oh Christian," she whispers and I turn her around so she can face me.

She's quick in her movements as she kisses my chest with each button she undoes and I don't think I can hold out. My pants and boxers are pulled down to my ankles as I step out of them as I take off her bra and matching panties.

"I'm going to make love to you all night," I say and lay her down on the bed.

**_Tenley POV_**

I don't think I can even make a coherent sentence. All of my senses are all out of whack. I'm trying to get feeling back into my body as Christian kept his promise. I don't know if I will even be able to function at school today but I will have to manage somehow.

Christian and I share an amazing shower. I don't think I will ever get used to the way this man likes to start the day but I think I just may.

"I think you are more beautiful every time I lay my eyes on you," Christian says when I make my way downstairs to find him and Gracelyn eating breakfast.

"Why thank you," I say pouring myself a cup of coffee and fixing myself a plate. I thank Gail for making me breakfast and I feel a little embarrassed that she knows that I spent the night here.

"If you don't have plans tonight, my parents would like to have you over for dinner. My dad is already a big fan of yours you know," Christian says with a wink.

I got to know Christian's parents at the hospital while Mia had her baby and they are such lovely people. I wish that my parents were alive to so they could meet the man I have fallen in love with, I know they would have loved him too.

It was hard for me to tell Christian about the death of my parents but he was so kind and held my hand as I recalled the story of the plane crash that took their lives when I was just 19. I had just finished my first year in college and I was working at a summer camp on the East Coast. They were flying up to visit me when their plane crashed and all onboard were killed. If it weren't for Blake's parents I don't know if I would have been able to go on. After Blake's death, his parents couldn't bear living in the state anymore so they up and left for California where they lived before they moved to Washington. I still talk to Susie, Blake's mom at least once a week and Charlie e-mails me once in a while. I know it's been hardest for him but at least I still have them in my life.

"I would love too," I say as I grab my bag before I need to head to school.

"Could you drive me to school?" Gracelyn says.

"You would need to ask your daddy?"

"If it's okay with Tenley, then Sawyer will just follow you to school."

I don't know what the fuss with having security follow me, but I know not to bring it up with Christian, he has made it very clear that the safety of his daughter is crucial.

Christian walks us out to my car and when I pop my trunk I see him frown when I put my overnight bag in there.

"Are you leaving?" He pouts and it's so damn sexy. Leaving, did he expect me to spend every night at his home?

"I'm not leaving, but I am going back to my house tonight."

"Why?"

Why, what is he getting at?

"Let's you and I discuss this later," he says and we say goodbye and off to school we go.

Thank God Gracelyn didn't ask her mommy question this morning. I was so worried that she was going to ask me again but she never did. We just talked about what her plans are for the day and the upcoming weekend. She said that she is spending the whole weekend with her grandparents and she couldn't be more thrilled.

"What are you and daddy going to do while I'm gone?" she asks and giggles.

If she only knew what I have in store for Mr. Grey.

I am so nervous, what do I wear when I meet the boyfriend's parents. Is that what Christian is, my boyfriend? I mean we love each other but we still haven't declared our relationship status out loud. I think we are exclusive but again we need to define what exactly is going on.

I think I've tried on about a dozen outfits when I hear the doorbell.

"Shit," I say and I'm only wearing my bra and underwear. I decide on a basic maxi dress, pull a pair of sandals out and run out to find Christian looking unbelievably gorgeous and Gracelyn.

"Come on in, I'm almost ready," I say and Gracelyn runs in to explore.

"What's wrong?" Christian says when he kisses me.

"I'm just a little flustered," I respond while putting on my sandals.

"Why?"

"Well, we're having dinner at your parents."

And it's a pretty big deal, but I don't want to say that to him.

"And...You've already met my parents and they love you."

"Can I have some lipstick just like you," Gracelyn says coming up to me. I look for Christian's approval then I take her hand and we head into my room.

"You are really pretty," I say after putting on the light pink lip gloss.

"Not as pretty as you," she says mimicking me in the mirror as I rub in my lip gloss. I head into my closet to find a little sweater and grab my purse when I see Gracelyn holding up a photo of Blake and me?

"Who is this?" She says with a sad look.

"Well, this is Blake, he was my boyfriend but he's in Heaven now," I hope that is the right thing to say.

"Just like my mommy."

I smile and nod. She doesn't need to know how he died.

"You ready to head out?"

Gracelyn takes my hand and we find Christian waiting for us in the living room.

"Look at my beautiful girls," he says while he stands up to button his suit coat.

I should have listened to Christian and not have been so nervous. Grace and Carrick were so welcoming in their home and I felt so comfortable.

I almost didn't want to leave tonight as we were having such a great time.

"Thank you so much for having me over tonight," I say and I'm surprised when Grace hugs me.

"Whatever you are doing for my son, please keep it up, it's nice to see him happy like this again," she whispers in her ear. That just confirms that what we have is right.

As we drive back to my house, I know Christian wants me to come home with him and as much as I desperately want to be in his bed again, I don't think that would be sending a good message to Gracelyn so I insist that he take me to my house.

Gracelyn is sound asleep in the car and Christian walks me up to my door.

"I told you that my parents were going to love you," He says kissing me.

"They are amazing."

"Dream of me tonight," He says and I giggle then I watch him drive away.

I prepare for tomorrow and iron my pants before I head to bed when I hear a soft knock on my front door.

I peek out of my bedroom window and I'm relieved when I spy a familiar car sitting in my driveway.

I can't get back to the door fast enough when I throw it open and pull Christian into my house.

"These are best kind of greetings," he says taking my face in his hands and kisses me. "I couldn't spend the night without you."

**_Christian POV_**

How do I tell Tenley that I want her to move in with me and spend the rest of her life with me? I can't believe I'm really ready to take our relationship to the next level and this quickly. I don't want to scare her off, but I don't want to lose her either.

Last night was amazing and I love the way I feel whenever I'm around Tenley who is sleeping so peacefully in my arms.

I check the clock and it's five, I have a conference call with my New York team in 20 minutes so I need to leave but I don't want to leave.

Kissing her forehead, I carefully peel her arms from my chest and Tenley begins to stir.

"Don't leave," she says with her face against the pillow.

"Believe me, I don't want to but work calls," I say and quickly get dressed and head out. "I love you."

"Love you too."

I text Tenley after I arrive home just like she asked me to do and all I want to do is be back in her bed. I need to figure out what I want to do with our relationship and taking it to the next level. There is only one person who can give me the advice I need and I give my little sister a call.

"Why are you scared?" she asks after I tell her my dilemma.

"What if she says she's not ready?"

"You won't know until you ask her."

She's right.

"What if she says no?"

"I'm not even going to justify that with a response, mom called me this morning to rave about Tenley and I know she will say yes."

"Mia, I don't think I can take it if she rejects me."

"Christian!"

"Okay, fine, I will ask her this weekend."

"Good and make sure you tell me what she says."

**_Tenley POV_**

I want to make this weekend perfect so before Christian comes over to spend the entire weekend with me, I want to look my best. I asked if we could be locked up at my place instead of his because I just feel better about it. I know Gracelyn won't be at Christian's, I don't know if it's right.

"So what were you thinking about how you would like your hair styled?" The woman staring at me in the mirror asks me. I've never been to this salon before; MaryAnn said it's the best.

How do I tell her that I want her to make me look like a sex kitten for my drop dead gorgeous boyfriend whom I'm going to spend the whole weekend with in my bed?

"I was thinking up but I'm not sure," I say as she plays around with my hair.

"Well, what are your plans?"

"I have a date."

"In that case, I think we should put a lot of curls and bounce and pull it up like this."

"That's perfect," I say and just sit back and relax.

The stylist just chit chats with me until the name Christian comes up.

"How do you know Christian," I ask staring at the woman who is just pinning the last curl.

"Oh Christian and I are old friends," she says and there is so much more to that. Old is right, this woman looks like she's in her early 50s and her platinum blonde hair doesn't help her case.

"That's nice," I say trying to be polite, but this woman is starting to make me uncomfortable and all I want to do is leave.

"So how long have you been contracted with Christian?"

"Excuse me?"

"How long have you been his sub?"

"I don't think we are talking about the same Christian Grey?"

"Trust me honey, we are. I've heard lots about you from my best friend Grace."

Oh my God!

What the hell is she talking about?

"I didn't know he was taking subs again, but good for him. I knew it would just be a matter of time."

I start to panic in the chair and I try to escape but I'm frozen.

"I'm sorry I've been rude and never introduced myself properly, my name is Elena Lincoln and Christian and I well let's just call our relationship is an evolving one.

Now she's done it, I think I'm going to be sick. This woman is old enough to be his mother and she says that they are in some kind of relationship and I know she doesn't just mean a platonic one.

"Excuse me, but I need to go," I say and pull off the cape and grab my purse.

"But I'm not done yet," she says with a laugh and I run out of the salon.

* * *

_**On a personal separate from this story, I posted my YA original story How to Love Again on another Web site. If you are interested in reading my story, please PM and I can send you the link!**_


	22. Chapter 22

**_Christian POV_**

I have looked forward to today all week and it's finally here. I have my bag packed and even though my plan is for me and Tenley to be naked all weekend I still need a few essentials.

My parents are picking up Gracelyn from school so I'm headed straight over to Tenley's after work. I haven't been able to concentrate on anything all day and I should have just taken today off entirely.

By five, I'm out the door and Taylor is waiting for me by the elevator. I know he's excited about having the whole weekend off and I'm treating him, Gail and Sophie with a trip to Disneyland. After we arrive home, I say goodbye to the three of them then I jump into my car and speed off to Ms. Whittier's. I haven't heard from her after she said she had to run some errands and she would meet me at her house.

I pull into the driveway and all the lights are off. I can't wait to see what my Tenley has planned.

I knock on the door holding flowers, dinner courtesy of Gail and a bottle of wine.

There is no answer but I hear noises coming from inside so I knock again.

"Go away," she yells against the door.

"Tenley, what's wrong?"

"I asked you to go away and I never want to see you again."

Is this really happening? I don't know why she is doing this.

"Talk to me."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Did I do something wrong?"

She laughs and I know she's being sarcastic.

"Please talk to me," I beg at the door and then I feel a glimmer of hope when she opens the door.

Tenley has been crying and all I want to do is hold her in my arms but she holds out her hands to stop me.

"Why don't you talk to you other girlfriend because I was under the impression that I was the only person you were fucking but apparently I was wrong?"

"What the hell are you talking about? You are the only person I'm dating and for the fucking you are the only person I've had in my bed since Ana died, you know that."

"What about Elena Lincoln?"

I haven't heard that name in years.

"You saw Elena?"

"That's not the answer I was looking for," she says and slams the door in my face.

"Tenley, that's not what I meant. Open the door."

She doesn't answer me and I see her walk away from the door.

"I'm not leaving until we talk," I say and stand right in front of the door. I have no intention of moving.

After an hour, I'm tired of standing so I just sit on the front step and decide to enjoy the beautiful dinner made for me and Tenley.

I think back to the last time I saw Elena. It was just over a year ago when we just happened to run into each other and she was with a new sub that looked like he could be her son, he was that young. She asked me how I was doing since the last time we saw each other. She said that she had a perfect sub for me and all I needed to do was say the word.

That woman has been the bane of my existence. I can't believe when she came to Ana's funeral. I had Sawyer physically escort her from the church. Then she had the nerve to show up at my house a few weeks later to try to "comfort me." I told her that she wasn't welcome at my home and if she planned on keeping her salons that she would leave me alone.

Now what is her little game I wonder? I think I will just have to keep my promise and dissolve our business partnership. Ana knew that I was still a silent partner in the salons. She was okay with it just as long as I had nothing to do with her and I kept my promise.

Now this is getting ridiculous, I've waited for another two hours and still nothing. So I decide to walk around to the back of the house and walk on the deck.

I try the sliding glass door and I'm surprised to find it unlocked. I know that I shouldn't just walk in but I have no other choice.

I set everything down on the table and I walk down to Tenley's bedroom. When I look in her room she is lying on her bed crying.

"I'm not seeing or fucking anyone especially Elena Lincoln," I say startling Tenley who jumps up and stares at me.

"How in the hell did you get in here?"

"The sliding glass door," I say and she looks pissed.

"Do you have any subs?"

"Tenley, I think I should tell you about my past," I say and I go into my past with my birth mom, Elena, the subs and how I met Ana.

"Now you know everything."

**_Tenley POV_**

To hear everything that Christian has told me and to see the tears in his eyes, it kills me.

"I didn't know what to say when Elena told me those things."

"I would have reacted the same way if I was you, but I wish you would have talked to me and not shut me out."

"I wish you would have told me about your past."

"Would you be here if I did?"

I look at this beautiful man's face and I don't know what to say. To hear about the years of abuse at the hands of that woman, then what he did with his subs and then how Ana saved him I don't know how to answer.

"I'm not worthy of you," I say and I don't think I have anymore tears to shed.

"What are you talking about?"

"Ana, she was everything and more and I don't think I can live up to her."

Christian wraps his arms around me and looks me dead in the eye.

"Please don't compare yourself to Ana. I love you and I will always love her but you made my heart capable of love again and I can't lose you. You are everything I need and more."

I look at his face and I can see him start to cry.

"Tenley, after Ana died I never thought I could nor wanted to find someone but when I met you everything changed. I love you and by some miracle you love me too. I want to marry you."

I'm blown away by his admission. I don't know if he was asking or telling me.

I'm speechless.

"Say something."

To what?

"Tell me that you still love me," Christian practically begs me.

"I still love you," I whisper and I can see him relax then he crushes his lips to mine.

"Marry me," Christian blurts out for a second time and I'm dumbfounded.

He sees me reaction and then I see a wall starting to go up.

**_Christian POV_**

I screwed this up. I need to take it back but I don't know how.

"How about this, you think about it and I will ask you again the proper way," I say and I see her smile.

If I were a betting man, that smile means that if I ask again and the right way she will say yes.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" I ask standing up and Tenley sits up on the bed.

"You're leaving?"

"I think its best but I have a plan for the two of us if you are willing to give me another chance."

"I wish you would stay."

How can I say no to that that face.

I take Tenley's hand and lead her into the kitchen and heat up the remainder of what should have been our romantic dinner.

It's been a very long and emotional evening so after Tenley finishes her plate we walk back to her bedroom. I strip down to just to my boxer briefs and slide in next to Tenley who is just wearing a pair of boy shorts and a tiny tank top. Thank God, because if she was any more naked I don't think I could just sleep with her tonight.

I hold her tight in my arms and kiss her lips before we both fall asleep.

My natural body clock wakes me up at five after a most restful sleep. I sneak out of bed, write Tenley a note and head home to put my plan into motion.

**_Tenley POV_**

When I wake I'm a little sad to find that I'm alone. I look next to me where Christian slept to find a sweet note telling me to get up, get dressed and that he will be back at 10 to get me. I glance at the clock and it's nearly nine. I quickly shower and change not knowing what his plan is for me today. Whatever it is I'm happy knowing that everything is out in the open and the future is bright for the two of us.

I patiently wait for Christian, then at five to ten, a black SUV pulls into the driveway and I feel my heart beat out of control. Then I see Taylor emerge and there is no sign of Christian and I'm a little disappointed. I grab my purse and jacket and head out to meet Taylor.

"Ms. Whittier, I'm here to take you to Christian," he says and holds open my door.

Before I step into the car, I smell the fragrance emitting and when I pop my head in there are hundreds of flowers everywhere. I turn my head to Taylor and he just smiles.

"Where are we going Taylor," I ask.

"It's a surprise and Christian asked that you put on that blindfold."

Did he now?

We drive for about 15 minutes and I feel the car stop, then my door opens and I feel Taylor take my hand.

"If you would come with me Ms. Whittier."

"Only if you would call me Tenley," I say with a smile and he agrees.

I know exactly where we are by all of the sounds.

I feel Taylor stop, so that means that we are at our destination.

"Please wait here," Taylor says and then I hear him walk away.

I'm nervous now that it's just me and I'm waiting for Christian which seems like forever.

His lips touch mine before I even know he's standing in front of me.

"I've been waiting for you to arrive," Christian says taking off my blindfold to reveal what I already knew. We are going out on his boat.

"I missed you this morning," I say as he takes my hand to help me board.

"As did I, but I was trying to make today perfect."

He looks so handsome in gray slacks and a tight white shirt. He has his Aviator glasses on and I think I've died and gone to heaven. Thank God I also went casual with a short dress, but it is a little windy out so I'm glad that I wore panties.

We set sail for an unknown destination and I just stand by Christian as we begin our trip.

"Thank you for allowing me to spend the night with you."

"Me too, although I wish that we did a little more than sleep," I say and give him that look.

"Just be patient, we are alone on the open water and no one to bother us."

I like the sound of that.

We sail for nearly an hour before we start to slow down and I see a little island that looks deserted.

"Where are we going?"

"One of my favorite places."

Christian anchors the boat then we get into a little dingy and head for shore but not before Christian puts the blindfold back on.

"Is this really necessary," I ask and Christian just kisses my lips for reassurance but says nothing.

I feel that we have hit shore but instead of getting out Christian sweeps me up in his arms and I hear some splashing under his feet. The beating of my heart begins to pound outside of my chest again, and then he sets me down and removes my blindfold.

I'm in the center of a floral ring and in front of me Christian is on his knee with a ring box extended toward me. I can tell that he's very nervous but maybe not as much as I am.

This is too quick. I mean I've known Christian for nearly a month and now he's asking me to marry him.

"Tenley, I knew from the first moment I saw your gorgeous face that I was destined to love you. You have showed me in this short time we have been together that I can love again. You are everything I want in a partner and you are going to make an amazing mother to Gracelyn. Please let me love you for the rest of our lives and agree to be my wife. Will you marry me?"

I feel the tears build and spill over down my face and I nod. I can't speak.

"Is that a yes," Christian says beaming sliding the magnificent ring on my finger.

"Yes," I say as clear as day.

The next thing I know Christian is swinging me around and kisses me.

"How are we going to tell Gracelyn," I ask when Christian finally sets me down in the middle of all the flowers.

"Tomorrow when we pick her up from my parents if that's okay. She is going to be so excited."

Christian takes my hands and leads me away from the shore to find a little picnic area all set-up in the middle of the woods.

"How did you do all of this?"

"A man has to keep his secrets," he says and we sit down to eat the most amazing lunch that I assume Gail has prepared complete with a bottle of chilled champagne.

We spend the rest of the afternoon split between talking about our engagement and making love on our own little island before heading back to the boat to sleep or at least nap. By far it has been the best day of my life.

I woke up with a big smile on my face and found my future husband staring at me.

"I love you," I say and kiss his lips.

"Not as much as I do," he replies as he pulls me on top of him and we're lost in each other.

**_Christian POV_**

The sun is just about to set as I tied my boat to the dock. I help Tenley off and together hand in hand we head to a waiting Taylor. I'm shocked when Tenley hugs Taylor and kisses his cheek after he offers his congratulations.

This woman has not stopped smiling since I proposed to her yesterday and neither have I.

Tenley grips my hand a little harder as we walk up to the front door and I press the doorbell.

I hear Gracelyn before I see her, Tenley and I look at her and we both laugh.

"You're back," she says and jumps in my arms.

"I missed you princess," I say hugging her close and Tenley touches her back.

"How was your boat trip?"

"It was wonderful but we missed you," Tenley says and I see the sparkle in Gracelyn's eye when she spots a new piece of jewelry on her hand.

"You're getting married?" She says and starts jumping up and down. "Can I be the flower girl?"

My daughter is quick on the trigger; she couldn't wait for the official announcement.

"Is that okay?" Tenley asks but we both know her answer.

"Ummm…yes…duh," Gracelyn says taking Tenley's hand and pulls her inside. "Grammy she said yes, I'm getting a new mommy."

I take a second to regain my composure and look up to the sky and take a deep breath.

"Thank you Ana for sending me Tenley, I will always love you."


	23. Chapter 23

**_It was brought up in a few reviews about me stealing ideas from another writer SuzQuz Grey. I will admit my proposal scene does resemble the one in her story but in no way was it my intention. I would never want to take away the power and beauty that is her marvelous story. SuzQuz Grey is not only my Beta but also my friend and I value her friendship too much to ever want to hurt her. We have spoke several times since yesterday and everything is fine and she thanks me for bringing this to her intention. _**

* * *

**_Tenley POV_**

Christian and I decided that it was best if I didn't move in until after we were married. I wanted to set a good example for Gracelyn even though I spent all day at the house before going back to my house. I know Christian thought it was ridiculous but I wanted to do this right. The other bone of contention was our wedding date. If Christian got his way he would have gotten married the night we announced our engagement; however I wanted to wait as we were moving so fast. I didn't want to rush it so we decided to start our new life together as a family on New Year's Eve.

We spent our first Christmas together and it was truly magical. Now set to wed tomorrow night and I couldn't be more thrilled.

Today was spent packing up the rest of my house and it's a little sad. I told Christian that I wanted to do this alone as it's officially the chapter I had with Blake. We bought this house together and now it belongs to a new family. My best friend and Maid of Honor MaryAnn came over and brought dinner as we celebrate my last night as a single lady.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" MaryAnn asks as we finished our second bottle of wine.

"More than ready. I'm kind of rethinking my decision to wait to get married and should have just eloped like Christian wanted to do."

"No way, every woman needs a wedding and with Christian Grey you are going to have the wedding everyone dreams about."

When planning my wedding to Christian, I didn't want to do anything that I had planned for Blake and mine's wedding and that meant finding another dream dress. It didn't feel right to wed Christian in a dress that I planned to marry another man in. Instead Christian sent MaryAnn, Gracelyn and I to New York to find the dress of my dreams and that's just what we did. It happened to be the first dress I tried on at Vera Wang. MaryAnn cried and little Miss Fashionista Gracelyn said it was the dress. We also found the perfect Maid of Honor and flower girl dresses.

I can already tell the Christian and I are going to have our hands full with the little princess herself. I can't believe I'm going to be a mom, rather step-mom but I am so excited just the same. When Gracelyn brought up the idea of a baby at Thanksgiving in front of the whole Grey family, Christian had to have a conversation with his daughter. Everyone had a little laugh and all I could do was blush.

That night, Christian told me about his conversation with his daughter. He asked me if I wanted a child with him and I said of course. I've always wanted to have children especially since I was an only child. I would get pregnant right now that's how bad I want to have a baby. If Blake hadn't died, I would have had at least one baby by now if not pregnant with my second. I decided to be honest with Christian hoping that he felt the same way.

He told me that he never thought about having more than one child, but he never thought he would have fallen in love with someone else. He said that he would be honored to have at least one baby if not a few more. I was over the moon. Seeing him with Gracelyn just proves what an amazing father and husband he is. I can't wait for our turn so we decided that we would start trying on our wedding night. I officially went off the pill last week and we decided to abstain until then. I think its killing me more than it is him, but I would never give him the satisfaction.

I go to bed a little easier thanks to the wine and I have an amazing night's sleep when I wake up just after ten. Since our wedding is going to start at 11:30pm, Christian thought it best to change up Gracelyn's schedule so she will be able to stay awake.

Christian spared no expense for our wedding. We are getting married at the top of the Space Needle. I don't know how he did it but he is Christian Grey. Since its New Year's Eve and our ceremony is late, we changed the order of our wedding starting with a cocktail hour, followed by dinner, then we will wed before the firework display and then dance the night away.

Mia and Gracelyn arrive just after lunch so we can get pampered. Having Mia become one of my closest friends has been a Godsend. I know how close she was to Ana made it that much more special and she loves Gracelyn as if she was her own daughter. I know I have a lot to live up to.

My hair is swept up off to the side, my make-up is done to emphasize my eyes and I feel beautiful. Gracelyn comes out and does a pirouette then we all start to get teary-eyed. For the last three days she has been bouncing up and down and can't wait for our family Hawaiian honeymoon before Gail takes her back home after a week. We plan on staying another week exploring all the islands. I've never been to Hawaii and I'm excited for our trip.

Everyone helps me into my ivory lace gown and I'm truly happy. Our limo arrives and the drive to downtown makes me nervous. Ican't wait to see Christian and to become Mrs. Christian Grey. A glass of champagne calms my nerves, I'm truly grateful for Mia who pours me a second glass as we pull up to the venue. I see Christian and his back is turned just in time for me to emerge for our first look photo in the glass garden. It's a perfect day, a bit chilly but at least it's not raining.

Taylor is there to help me from the limo and he looks incredible in his though Taylor is only about 15 years older than me I feel like he's been a great father figure for me. I feel proud to be on his arm as he will walk me down the aisle. I didn't know what his reaction was going to be, but I could tell he was touched by my gesture. The two of us have developed a great relationship along with Gail who has been not only a great friend and confidante but also she reminds me a lot of my mother.

The photographer positions me just so as I reach out and touch Christian's shoulder and his breathing picks up.

We say nothing to each other as I try to control my out of control breathing.

"Turn around," the photographer tells Christian and when he does I'm fallen in love all over again.

"Wow, you look gorgeous," he says as we embrace and I see the tears in his eyes. "I love you so much."

I breathe as I try not to cry and ruin the hours getting ready.

"Christian is it possible that I can love you anymore, because I do.

After photos we head up the glass elevator just the two of us and the photographer before we are greeted by our 100 guests. I didn't know if Blake's parents were going to come but when I got their response saying there were attending I was thrilled. They were the first people I saw as we emerged from the elevator.

I introduced Christian hoping it wasn't awkward introducing my fiancé to my dead fiancé's parents but they were gracious and thanked him for taking such good care of me.

We melted into the crowd seamlessly and enjoyed some amazing food and champagne. At 11:30, the music changed, our guests were seated and Taylor found me so we could prepare to walk down the aisle.

"Tenley, after the wedding can I call you mommy," Gracelyn asks right before we walk down the aisle. "My daddy says I had to ask you first but he said it was okay."

I look at her precious face and hug her close to me.

"I would love to be your mommy," I say and I can't fight the tears anymore.

Taylor squeezes my hand then I see a few tears roll down his cheek and I wipe them away.

We don't speak but our faces say it all as we watch my little girl walk down the aisle.

The music changes and its now my turn.

Taking my time we make our way down the aisle seeing Gracelyn stand by my Christian who is beaming is the perfect picture. I hug Taylor then he places my hand in Christian's and we stand facing the city skyline as we exchange our vows and rings. Then presenting a locket to Gracelyn that had two photos. On one side it has a photo of Christian and Ana and on the other side it was Christian and I. On the back, I had it engraved and there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

We were pronounced husband and wife just as the clock strikes midnight, we kissed as the fireworks began going off all around us.

**_Christian POV_**

Tonight couldn't have been more perfect. I'm married to an amazing woman who has agreed to be Gracelyn's mother and now I watch her and our daughter on the dance floor.

"I'm glad to see you happy," Elliott says as we watch our ladies on the dance floor.

"Thank you for being the best big brother, I don't know what I would have done without you," I say trying not to get chocked up for a third time tonight.

"That's what I'm here for, but you really should be thanking that hot little piece of ass over there," he says and I slap the back of his head.

"That's my wife," I say and he laughs then I realize just what he's done.

I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it with my own eyes but Gracelyn was the last on the dance floor when we leave for the evening around two.

My wife and I say our goodnights to everyone including our daughter before we leave for our first night as husband and wife at the Pan Pacific Hotel where I have secured the presidential suite.

Carrying Tenley over the threshold all I can think about is getting her out of that dress. Fuck it's been one of my only thoughts I've had today since I first set my eyes on her.

I set her down and slowly unzip her dress kissing her back all the way down. I help her step out of her dress and turn her around so she faces me.

"Let's make a baby," I say as I take her face in my hands and I stare into her soul.

Seeing Tenley with my daughter has only strengthened my conviction that I want to bind myself to this woman in every way possible.

Tenley takes my lead and starts to strip me very slowly; she's killing me I think.

Once I'm naked she pulls me over to the bed that's blanketed in red rose petals and next to the bed is a bottle of champagne. I think we can have some fun with that and I'm not talking about drinking it.

"Come over here," I say and Tenley gets up on her knees. I pop the champagne and tell her to just go with whatever is about to happen.

I slowly pour the sweet champagne down the front of her body focusing over her breasts.

"I'm going to taste every inch of your body tonight and just worship you, wife," I say and lick her starting at her shoulder before I land at my destination.

"Oh my God," she moans as she arches her back before lying down on the bed.

I'm not sure if we really fell asleep but I'm in purse ecstasy right now. I'm staring at my glorious wife who is naked covered in rose petals and I know that I've died and gone to Heaven.

Breakfast is on its way up so I have to wake my Sleeping Beauty.

"Baby, it's time to wake up," I say pushing her hair out of her face so I can drink in all of her beauty.

"Not again, my body is off limits until we get to Maui," she groans and I can't help but to laugh.

"Breakfast is here so I think this would be a good time to shower, come and I'll help you," I say as I pull her up and fill up the oversized bathtub with water and my favorite body wash.

"Aww…this feels so good, you gave me one hell of a workout," Tenley says stretching out her arms and legs in front of me as I hold onto her.

"So do you think you're pregnant yet," I ask and Tenley turns around and gives me that look.

"Christian I think everything in that room is pregnant by what you did to me last night," She giggles and she's probably right.


	24. Chapter 24

**_Tenley POV_**

Hawaii in January is like a dream. There are no tourists and it's just the three of us enjoying paradise. During the day I can't get enough time with my daughter and at night there are not enough hours to quench the need I yearn for my husband. I'm sad that Gracelyn leaves tomorrow with Gail and Taylor but she needs to get back to school.

We spent the day shopping because Gracelyn wanted to buy little trinkets for her classmates and Christian needed to attend to some urgent business situation happening back home. He told me not to worry but the sound of his voice on the phone made me a little scared. I've never heard him yell like that but for Gracelyn it doesn't even phase her, I guess I will have to get used to it.

"What about this one?" Gracelyn asks picking out a very beautiful necklace for MaryAnn.

"I think she is going to love it."

Gracelyn uses her own money that Christian gave her of course and bought everything. I was so proud when she counted out her money exactly right. No doubt who will be taking over GEH when the time comes.

We get back to the house we are renting, Christian has made little hints that he wants to purchase it but who knows. That man has more money than sense I think but I wouldn't mind coming back here every once in awhile. It's so beautiful and it's a chance to get away, especially from all the paparazzi that have been hounding us since we announced our engagement. That's the one thing I haven't been able to get used to, but I try my best to ignore it just like he has. Gracelyn loves the attention though and just puts on a show every time we go out in public.

"I want it done now," I hear Christian yell from the study as we bring in all of our purchases. I don't want to disturb him so we head into the kitchen where Gail is fixing lunch before they all head to the airport.

"Has he been like this the whole time we were gone?" I ask Gail who just smiles and nods. I know she is used to this so it's not a big deal for her.

We sit down for lunch and chat about Gracelyn's plans for when she goes home. She is going to spend part of the time with Grace and Carrick and the rest will be split between Elliott and Kate and Mia and Sawyer. I tell her when we get home that we will have another girls day out just her and I, she said she was so excited.

"Like when daddy and I have our date nights?"

"Sure, let's plan on Saturdays being our day where we can do whatever we want."

"You are the best mommy in the whole world," she says and throws her arms around my neck.

I don't think I could ever get tired of this.

"I couldn't agree more," I hear Christian's voice and then I feel him behind me massaging my shoulders

"Are you done working," Gracelyn asks before taking another bite of her ham and cheese sandwich.

"All done baby, now what do you want to do before you go home?"

"Let's go to the beach and make a huge sand castle."

"Well then let's go."

**_Christian POV_**

I'm trying to do whatever I can to prevent us coming home early on our honeymoon but this situation just won't fix itself. Ros can't do it alone not to mention the little situation with Elena.

After my last exchange with Elena all those months ago after she ambushed Tenley in her salon, then me dissolving our business partnership she hasn't let me hear the end of it. Then she had the nerve to approach me on my wedding day as I waited for Tenley to appear begging me not to marry her and that she would make me sorry. Taylor had to physically put her in a cab and then we had a team on her all night making sure that she didn't get anywhere near Tenley and me.

Then I hear she has a potential big time interview with some sleazy tabloid that is willing to fork over a large chunk of change for her to talk about her life as a trophy wife turning to BDSM and her relationships including the one with me. Welch tipped me off about that one this morning and I've spent part of my part dealing with the business crisis and this nonsense. I wonder what she has already said about me to score this interview but it can't be good. She doesn't have anything else left so hurting me would be the ultimate revenge.

There is no way I'm going to involve Tenley in this unless absolutely necessary and I hope that I can solve it sooner rather than later.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in the sand and I couldn't stop staring at my beautiful wife and daughter playing. They look so comfortable together and it makes my heart happy knowing that Ana is looking down on us hopefully smiling knowing that I fulfilled my promise.

"Daddy, I want to bury you in the sand," Gracelyn says pulling me close to the water.

I do as I'm told and let the two of them pour the soft white sand over my body. I could lie like this forever; I may never go home but then reality hits.

"Mr. Grey phone," Taylor says appearing behind me and I know that can't be good.

"I will be right back," I say looking at Gracelyn who is now pouting.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"You are fucking kidding me, she said what? She knows that she's incriminating herself right? I don't care if the statue of limitations is up. I want something drafted like right fucking now that if she utters my name once I will sue her for everything she has and she will have nothing."

I can feel my blood start to boil at this point. Apparently Elena's interview is going to be live and it's going to be broadcast tonight and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I have my team of lawyers on the case to contact the tabloid show and threaten to sue if they air the interview. I know that there is nothing more I can do at this point, at least Tenley knows about everything so I need to prepare her for what's about to happen.

I decide that I have to call Elena and try to stop this. It kills me that I have to talk with this woman but I hope I can talk some sense into her.

"Ah Christian I was waiting for you call," she says in her voice that sounds like nails on a chalkboard.

"Why are you doing this Elena," I bark back.

"You know why?"

I think before I speak and I try to control the rage that is building up inside of me.

"Aren't you going to ask what will it take for me to cancel my interview?"

"No."

"Then why are you calling me, miss me already? I knew that little gold digger couldn't do everything you need and you want a real woman."

I snort at the thought.

"I wanted to call and explain the ramifications if you mention or even allude to me in your interview."

"And what would those be dear, you already destroyed me financially I have nothing left to give."

"You sure about that?"

"Well darling, I have to go and get into hair and make-up; I hope you enjoy the show. Remember I will be thinking of you the entire time." She says and hangs up.

I inform Gail and Taylor what to expect when they arrive home on the mainland and to keep Gracelyn away from the TV and out of sight for any waiting paparazzi. White is going to make sure the house is protected from any waiting paparazzi that might try and show up.

Tenley knows something is really wrong when her and Gracelyn walk back into the house. I send Gracelyn into her room to change as she is leaving in a few minutes.

"I need you to talk to me Christian, you're scaring me," she says and I pull her close and never want to let go.

"I will but I don't want Gracelyn to hear this."

We say our goodbyes and it's tough to let go of Gracelyn but I know it's for the best.

"See you in three days," I tell her and kiss her forehead.

And with that it's just the two of us. We should be enjoying our honeymoon the real way and not having to deal with this.

I sit Tenley down and tell her everything.

"What can I do," she asks trying to help the situation.

"Just be by my side with whatever happens."

"I think it would be best if we head home together as a family so we can handle this as a family."

God I love this woman.

"What about our honeymoon?" I ask her and she takes me face into her hands.

"We can always come back here."

I pull out my phone and tell Taylor to hold the plane. In less than an hour we are in the air.

We pull into the garage a few minutes before the interview is to air live on the East Coast so we scramble inside to watch it from my office. Gail is going to get Gracelyn ready for bed and Tenley is sitting by my side just holding my hand.

The interview starts and Elena looks like a mess. Knowing her as well as I do I know she is still figuring out what she is going to say. Our conversation had to affect her more than she thought and for once in this whole mess I think I have a chance.

The interviewer begins with some basic questions before we get to the meat of the interview.

"So, Elena tell me about this lifestyle, did you introduce it to anyone in particular?"

I see the look of panic wash across her face but to anyone else they wouldn't know it.

Tenley squeezes my hand. I know I'm safe right here.

"Of course, over the years you meet many people and no one has ever not liked the idea of either being a Dominant or Submissive," she says with confidence.

"Anyone in particular you have introduced?" The interviewer asks and I know that she knows I'm involved and is waiting for Elena to expose my name.

"Why a girl never tells her secrets?"

The interviewer looks baffled at Elena's non-revelation and I can't believe it, she never mentions my name during the whole 42-minute interview. She discussed how she got into the lifestyle because she was bored with her life and dissatisfied with her relationship with her husband. How he cheated on her, so she found that BDSM gave her back the control she was missing in her life. She dogged Lincoln pretty good but my name came up especially since I was the cause of the divorce or at least part of it.

"This is a good thing Christian," Tenley says and kisses my lips.

"But why, why do the interview if she didn't want to expose me?"

She must want something more than money and now I have to figure out the what.

My phone rings and I know exactly who it is before I answer it. I hit the speaker phone so Tenley can hear everything.

"Do I even get a thank you?" She purrs on the other end. She's up to something for sure.

"Why? It would have been the end of you if you mentioned me."

"I think I deserve as much," she say and I know Tenley is biting her tongue.

"Why Elena, why do the interview and not out me?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out."

"Fuck off Elena."

"Oh how I wish you were fucking me Christian."

"Well that's my job now, bitch," Tenley says and I know she just wants to ring her neck through the phone.

"Oh hello dear, that wasn't very nice. You really should watch your tongue before someone does something with it."

"Is that a threat?" I say making sure that it's recorded.

"Christian, you know me so much better than that, it's the truth."

Looking at Tenley I know she's not going to back down so I just hang out.

"That…that woman…what I would like to do with her if I just had a few minutes," she says seething through her teeth.

"Trust me I know," I say. "But right now all I want to do is make love to my wife for the first time in this house."

She giggles and all is forgotten for now.


	25. Chapter 25

**_Tenley POV_**

Christian convinced me, all though it wasn't really all that hard, to take the next week off of school as it was already approved, even though we weren't technically on our honeymoon anymore. I said I would just as long he didn't go into the office and he agreed.

We spent our mornings with our daughter and once she left for school we were practically naked the whole time until she arrived home. Christian's family, well I guess I'm a Grey now so their my family, and MaryAnn are the only ones that know we were home, everyone else thought we were still in Hawaii. Gracelyn loved keeping this secret most of all.

"Where you going," Christian asks when I throw on a robe.

"We need food, plus I'm exhausted," I say and kiss him before I head down to the kitchen.

Christian has given Gail and Taylor days off since we are spending our honeymoon at the house. I'm free to do whatever I want so I look around and decide to drop the robe.

I make us two sandwiches and grab a bottle of wine and two glasses. I'm just finishing with the fruit plate when I feel his arms wrap around me.

"Why Mrs. Grey, you look mighty fine naked in the kitchen making food."

"If you play your cards right hopefully soon I will be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen."

"A man can only dream," he says turning me around to face him and before we know it we are making love on the super clean kitchen floor.

I've just reached my second orgasm of the early afternoon when I hear footsteps.

"Oh my God," I scream when I see Taylor walk in.

I quickly cover my eyes and I'm grateful that Christian is lying on top of me.

"I'm sorry sir," Taylor says and I peek through my hands to see his very red face.

I can't run up the stairs quick enough and Christian is right behind me laughing carrying our lunch.

"That wasn't funny Christian Grey," I say but I can't contain my laughter anymore.

"That wasn't the first time Taylor has seen this ass."

I don't want to know so I decide to leave it at that.

"And what a mighty fine ass it is," I say and purposely Christian turns around so I can get a better look.

We lie on our bed and eat our lunch and just talk.

"Personally, I think this is much better than Hawaii," I say finishing my glass of wine.

"Really?"

"Yes, you know why?"

"Why is that?"

"Because we get to spend it with Gracelyn."

"Thank you," he says kissing my lips.

"I always love your kisses but what's that for?"

"For loving my daughter like she was your own."

"Don't you mean our daughter?"

"My mistake."

"I hope that Ana thinks I'm doing the best job possible."

"She does."

**_Christian POV_**

I see a little doubt in Tenley's eyes and I don't know how to reassure her that she is the best mother next to Ana.

"I have a lot to live up too, what if I do something wrong?"

"Trust me, I've made a lot of mistakes but that's what makes you a much better parent."

I see her relax just a little so I know I just have to reinforce that she is an amazing mother.

I think back to the time after we announced our engagement when Gracelyn and I had a conversation of Tenley joining our family permanently.

"Are you okay with Tenley coming to live with us," I **ask** first trying to ease my way into this conversation. After speaking with Flynn, my mom, and Mia I decided that I just need to make this as simple as possible. They all offered to be there when I talked to Gracelyn but I felt like I needed to do this all alone.

"Sure, is she going to stay in the guest room or my bedroom?" She is so cute when she says that I laugh at the thought of my wife and daughter sharing a room, bunk beds perhaps.

"No baby she will be staying in my room because she's going to be my wife."

"Okay," I see her mind working and just waiting for her to ask me a tough question.

"You know you are still my number one girl right."

"Duh…" Lately that has been her favorite word and it's starting to really annoy me, but today I let it go.

"Can I have two mommies like Lacey does?" I see the look of confusion on her face.

"Baby your mommy will always be your mommy. Tenley wants to be your friend and she will be your step-mom."

"Can I call her mommy if I want to or will mommy be mad?"

I think the gravity of the whole situation has finally hit her.

"I don't want mommy to think I forgot about her, I love her."

"Baby I love her too and Tenley doesn't want to take your mommy's place. She loves you and wants to be your friend."

I don't know why I keep saying the word friend but I don't know how else to tell Gracelyn.

There is no way that Tenley would ever want to take Ana's place but I know she wants to have a close relationship to her. I know that no one could ever take Ana'a place and maybe Gracelyn and I can have another conversation with Dr. Martins about this. I don't want to further confuse Gracelyn and I'm at a loss.

Seeking out Dr. Martins was the best thing I could have done. The three us discussed Gracelyn's feelings about Tenley joining the family and she asked her questions that I never thought to ask. I think we have both come to the realization that it's really up to Gracelyn to determine what kind of relationship she wants to have with Tenley and whether she calls her mom or Tenley.

Dr. Martins suggested that Tenley come in for another session and that's just what we did the following week after we all took time to decompress what has happened.

Tenley was really nervous about our session but understood that it was necessary for us to become a family. I was worried if we didn't hash out everything, I don't know if we could get married in her eyes. I already know that Tenley only has Gracelyn's best interest at heart.

After 90 minutes I think we all came to the understanding that even Gracelyn could understand. I think that day our whole relationship was solidified and finally I knew that Tenley had no doubts about becoming my wife and a mother-figure for Gracelyn. Now it is all up to Gracelyn on how she wants to view her relationship with Tenley and that it is more than just getting a "new mommy." For any other five-year-old they wouldn't be able to understand the complexity of the situation, but this is Gracelyn we are talking about. She is exactly like her mother in that respect and that makes me smile.

Tenley agreed to continue to see Dr. Martins as her patient so she can express her feelings about being Gracelyn's step-mother and she could help and advice on dealing with the enviable questions that she will have. Knowing Gracelyn it will only be a matter of time.

"I think we should go and pick up Gracelyn," I say trying to wake up my beautiful wife. I think I've worn **her** out.

"Do we have time to shower," she asks and I know she's quickly recovered.

**_Gracelyn POV_**

It's nice having daddy and mommy here. I'm glad they didn't stay on vacation and came home with me. I like having Tenley stay at my house, she is so nice and really pretty and she makes really good cookies. All my friends keep asking what it's like having my teacher as my new mom but I don't know what to say she's my mom and I love her.

When school is over I'm so happy when I see daddy and mommy waiting for me.

"I thought it was a secret," I say when I jump into my daddy's arms.

"Well we missed you and thought we could go out for ice cream."

"Can I get sprinkles, rainbow ones?"

"Whatever you want princess."

I take both their hands and we walk out to the car. I don't see Taylor anywhere, then Sawyer says goodbye and he gets into his car.

"It's just going to be the three of us?"

Daddy nods and I'm so excited.

**_Christian POV_**

"Fuck!"

I'm about to blow when I can't get a handle on this latest merger which means I have to go to New York for at least a few days. I know that Tenley won't be able to come with me since she is back at work and I don't want to pull Gracelyn out of school for any longer.

"Christian I think we can survive 72 hours without you," Tenley says when we chat after dinner.

"I know that but it's just that I don't want to leave you."

It's more than just leaving Tenley, I've never been apart from Gracelyn ever and I don't know how I will handle that.

I talk with Gracelyn and tell her about my trip. She is totally fine with me leaving because Tenley will be home and of course she requests that I bring her a present. I didn't think it would be that easy.

After saying goodbye to my girls and arranging for White to stay in the guest house as to have on site security, I'm headed to New York on the red eye.

Once I've safely arrived at my New York office I want to call Tenley but its three in the morning so I just send her a text. This is going to be a long three days.

**_Tenley POV_**

It's been a little strange not hearing from Christian except for a few text messages that we've exchanged today. He's been in meetings all day and I hope that he gets a break so I can hear his voice. I miss him terribly but I don't want him to know that.

Afterschool Gracelyn asked if we could head to the library to check out some books and I clear it with Sawyer first who agrees.

I know we are on red alert because of Elena Lincoln and Christian says that he doesn't want to take any chances because Elena is unpredictable. So in addition to Sawyer and White I know there is someone else watching us but I haven't met them yet but I know he's there.

After an hour, I think Gracelyn has enough books for a lifetime.

"Now, why do I get the feeling that your daddy doesn't go to McDonald's?"

I see her face and I know Christian Grey doesn't go to McDonald's.

"He doesn't," she says and crosses her arms and pouts.

"Well, daddy isn't here is he?"

"You're the best."

Gracelyn insists on eating inside instead of going through the drive-thru I bet she wants to play on the playground. I indulge her just this one time and it gives me the opportunity to run next door to pick up something.

I asked for five minutes of alone time and White agreed to wait for me at the front of the store.

I've been waiting all day and now here I am taking a pregnancy test in the bathroom of a Walgreens. I couldn't risk anyone seeing me like the paparazzi so I decided to purchase the test at the pharmacy counter and retreat into the ladies room to take the test.

I'm so nervous as I pee on the stick and I just wait. I flush the toilet and take the test with me so I can wash my hands.

When I open the door I don't believe it, but she found me and she's pointing a gun at me.


	26. Chapter 26

**_Elena POV_**

I've been patient and now is the perfect time to strike. I have my opportunity with Christian being half way across the country and now the little gold digger buys a pregnancy test and head into the bathroom of a Walgreens of all places. I bet she thinks she has it made now.

I slip into the bathroom right after her being as quiet as I can. This is all too easy. How stupid could Christian's security team be for allowing her to be alone in the store knowing that I'm out there somewhere. Everyone underestimates Elena Lincoln but now it's time to show everyone just how powerful I really am.

"So are you carrying your meal ticket," I say pointing my gun right in the face of the new Mrs. Christian Grey and she looks very surprised.

I look down and see the positive test and smile. Oh this couldn't be more perfect.

"I guess congratulations are in order," I say and take another step closer to her.

"Are you going to shoot me?" She asks trying not to let her voice crack.

"Well, that depends on how well you are going to listen."

I grab Tenley's phone out of her pocket and throw it into the toilet.

"Now, you need to do everything I say or I will put a bullet through that pretty little head of yours, do you understand?"

"You are going to come with me and if you make any sound or allude to any problems I will kill you."

I put my gun back in my pocket and I open the door then lead her out to the emergency exit, which of course sounds the alarm but I am one step ahead as my latest sub is waiting for us.

I open the back door and push her in then close and lock the doors. We peel out of the parking lot; I duck my head before anyone sees me.

**_Tenley POV_**

Why is this happening? What did I ever do to deserve this?

"Just tell me what you want Elena and it's yours."

"Oh that's right, you are married to one of the world's richest men so you think that this is about money don't you?"

She shakes her head and I really start to panic, if she doesn't want money then what does she want?

She says nothing and I think the worst and then I'm quickly blindfolded.

We are driving around until we abruptly stop and I hear my door open before I'm yanked out of the car by two very hairy arms.

"Don't scream," he says putting a hand over my mouth as he pushes me forward. I contemplate biting down on his hand but it's not just about me anymore, I have someone else to think about besides me.

I haven't even had time to think about being pregnant. I mean I haven't even told Christian. I suspected I was pregnant because I was supposed to start my period today and I wasn't even sure myself. I mean I felt a little off the past couple of days but I chalked it up to everything going on.

From the smell of my new surroundings, I know I'm by water and in some kind of warehouse or storage unit. Having my sight taken away from me only enhances my other senses. I try to get a handle as to where I am but how will I tell anyone where I am.

"Get off your phone," Elena screams at someone, I assume it has to be the hairy armed man.

"He can track your phone, how many fucking times do I have to tell you, we're not dealing with any typical billionaire.

"Yes mistress," he replies in a cold dead and detached voice.

Shit, he's her sub and what Christian told me about his "relationship" with Elena that whenever she was in Dom mode she made anything she wanted happen.

We sit in silence for what seems like forever. The only sounds I can hear are two people breathing and water dripping.

I feel like I'm going to get sick but I fight every urge to do it. I even out my breathing but the tingling in my throat doesn't help.

"Could I get a glass of water?"

I hear some shuffling and then I feel a water bottle being pushed into my hands.

"Thank you," I say taking small sips which helps…for now.

**_Christian POV_**

"What do you mean she's gone?" I scream into the phone and White can't give me any other details.

White relays what he witnessed and that Welch couldn't pull the ID of the car's registered owner as the license plate was a fake.

"You're fired, you let my wife get kidnapped, you might as well just served Tenley up to Elena on a big fucking platter," I bark and hang up.

I'm out of my mind; Taylor is on the phone to get the GEH jet ready to leave in 20 minutes.

"I want a trace on Elena," I scream into the phone. I don't know why but I know if Tenley is gone then Elena has something to do with it.

As we prepare for take-off Welch calls me and says that she was at the Walgreens as indicated from her last call but then the tracking was disabled.

She wanted me to know that she took my wife. Elena isn't dumb, she knows what game to play and she's playing to win no matter at what cost.

I make sure that Gracelyn doesn't leave the house and we have Gail tell her that Tenley had to go back to school for a meeting and will be home later.

I have Taylor and Welch run financials on Elena and find anything that looks suspicious to give us any indication as to where she may have Tenley.

This is the longest five hours of my life, I thought I was doing everything to make sure that my family was protected and then the moment I go out of town, she strikes. That woman knows exactly what she is doing. She must have eyes on me too, otherwise she wouldn't have dared being so bold to make this move against me.

I arrive home just after midnight and Taylor takes me home immediately so I can check on Gracelyn who is sound asleep. We have two Seattle police officers out front and I take Detective Woods into my office to get an update. I'm questioned for nearly an hour so they can rule me as a suspect. I was appalled and this is why I didn't want to involve the police.

Detective Woods, after determining I'm not an accomplice in my own wife's disappearance, shows me the video surveillance from Walgreens that Welch was unable to get. We play it on my large computer screen.

We never saw how Elena entered the store but clearly we see her stalking Tenley who to my surprise was buying a pregnancy test. Then I see her head into the bathroom, where Elena is quickly behind her, and then a few minutes later we see the two of them emerge and head out the Emergency Exit.

My first thought is that Tenley's pregnant and I swear to God if Elena harms one hair on my wife's head or my baby's I will kill her with my own bare hands.

All night we chase every lead. Tenley has been gone for nine hours and we are no closer to where she was taken then when I first met with Detective Woods.

By five in the morning I think we have our first break and get a hit on Elena's phone to a number that has appeared more than 100 times in the past week, its Logan Mueller. He has to be her sub. Welch is already running his financials and now we just wait.

Gracelyn is up early and I know she's wondering why I'm home early and where is Tenley.

I tell her that Tenley had to go to school early and that I want her to stay home and have fun with me today.

"But daddy I have to go to school," she tries to plead with me but there is no way I'm going to let her out of my sight.

She knows she won't win this fight so she retreats into the family room and turns on cartoons.

Gail pushes me to eat some breakfast and not just coffee, I see the look of worry on her face.

By nine, I haven't heard from Welch and it's been a few hours. I get him on the phone when he says he thinks he has something and he's just waiting for a call back.

"I think I have a possible location," He says quickly on the phone and I immediately grab Taylor and we are in the car. I tell Sawyer I don't want him to let Gracelyn out of his sight and he agrees.

We drive **towards** the water to the address that Welch provided. Taylor and Ryan are in the front seat determing their plan of action when we arrive to the warehouse district. Taylor didn't want to take any chances and parks a few rows away from our final destination.

"Sir, I would like you to stay in the car," Taylor says but I'm already out of the car.

Ryan calls Detective Woods who tells us not to engage until they arrive and he tells him to fuck off.

We get to building C-234, I see the door is slightly ajar then I hear her voice and she's screaming at Tenley. I just want to run in there and save my wife but that won't help anyone especially Tenley.

Taylor **is** the first to slip in, Ryan waits outside and tries to hold me back but I can't wait here so I follow Taylor.

"Oh Christian, I was hoping you would be joining us," Elena says when we walk in. I see her and then look down to see Tenley blindfolded with a gun to her head. "Stand down Taylor or I will order him to shoot."

Taylor looks to me and I nod then he drops his weapon and kicks it out of the way also out of the reach of Elena.

I see my wife and she's shaking. The man whom I suspect is Logan Mueller holds the gun to her temple.

"Let her go Elena, she's not what you want, I'm who you really want."

"Darling, you have made it clear that I'm not what you desire anymore so this bitch of a gold digger is exactly who I want and your offspring is just a bonus," she snarls.

Tenley is pregnant. All I can see is red right now. She has my wife and baby and I need them safe.

"What do you intend on doing?"

"Destroy you, just like you have destroyed me and I'm going to start with a bullet in her pretty little head."

It's taking everything I have not to rush up to Elena, but I have to stay calm and keep my anger in check.

"I want you Christian, there has never been anyone but you don't you see that," she admits and I see Logan's face fall at her revelation.

"Mistress?"

"Shut up Logan, I told you not to speak. Now, be a love and hand me over the gun."

I see Logan contemplate his Dom's request but he's in full submissive mode and he does what he's told.

Once the gun is in Elena's hands, she turns the gun around and shoots Logan in the head which causes Tenley to fall with the dead man.

"Tenley," I yell and she just lies on the ground. I don't know if she's hurt or fainted. She is so still.

I start to move toward her but Elena changes her stance and points the gun at me.

"Change of plan. I will always love you Christian Grey." She says then fires.

I open my eyes and the light is almost too bright for me. It takes a few seconds before I can adjust before I see the beautiful creature in front of me.

"Anastasia," I say and I can't believe it is my love standing in front of me.

"Hello Christian," she says and takes my hand. It feels so real.

"Am I dead?"

"Do you think you're dead?"

I nod and then she gives me that look.

"You're in limbo and now it's up to you if you want to stay or go back," she says as I caress her face in my hands.

I don't want to ask if this is real because I want this to be real, I miss Anastasia so much.

"I get a choice?"

"It looks like it, but you don't have much time to decide."

"I've missed you Anastasia," I say then brush my lips against hers and I feel home.

"Christian," she says bringing me back to the question at hand.

"I don't think I can let you go again," I say. She touches my chest and I feel the pain. It must have been where I was shot.

"You didn't let me go Christian, I didn't get the choice you are getting right now and I need you to make the right decision."

"Gracelyn, Tenley and the baby," I finally say.

She smiles and my heart breaks.

"She is wonderful Christian, just like how I dreamed she would be and that's why I sent her to you and Gracelyn."

"What?"

"You know that God had a greater plan for me and you know what you have to do right now, Christian there isn't enough time."

I look around and I see figures of others but their faces are not clear until I see someone walking toward us.

"Christian, thank you," He says and I think I recognize him.

"Blake?"

"Thank you for loving my Tenley, that's why I sent you to her."

I have no idea of what's going on but I just try to make my decision.

"Christian, I love you and that's why I was able to let go because I knew that you could go on and live your life and love our daughter and now you have Tenley."

I feel my chest start to tighten and I know my time is running out.

"I don't want to leave you."

"Christian, I will always be here with you, right here," she says with her hand on my heart. She kisses my lips one last time.

"I want to go back."


	27. Chapter 27

**_Tenley POV_**

Christian is so still, he hasn't moved since the surgery to remove the bullet that nearly missed his heart. He's still on a ventilator because he hasn't been able to breathe on his own. I thought he was dead after Elena shot him but from what Taylor relayed to me as I pretended to be knocked out on the floor, Ryan came in and shot Elena dead. I had no idea what was going on until Taylor picked me up and cut my restraints around my wrists.

My first vision was seeing the man I love lying on the ground in a large pool of blood.

I didn't know what to do, Taylor was on the phone with 911 and the man whom I knew was following me in secret, Ryan, is trying to stop the bleeding in his chest.

"Christian," I call out and grab his hand and hold it to my face.

"Don't let him die," I say to Ryan and his face doesn't give anything away.

Paramedics arrive in minutes and they are loading Christian into the ambulance and just to make sure that I'm okay I'm taken with Christian. I assure them that I'm fine, hungry and thirsty but I'm fine. Neither Elena nor her sub ever harmed me in any way but I would switch places with Christian in a heartbeat.

I nearly lost it when Christian stopped breathing twice before we even reached the hospital. All I could do was just sit back and watch the paramedics work to save my husband. After we arrive at the hospital, Christian is carted away and I'm left all by myself.

Grace, Carrick, Elliott and Mia arrive shortly after Christian goes into surgery which lasts nearly five hours. Gracelyn is still at the house with Sawyer, the rest of the children, Kate and Gail.

Mia and I hold hands the whole time and we both just cry silently.

"He can't die Mia, he can't leave Gracelyn," I say and Mia pulls me closely.

"He's not going to die, my brother is a stubborn ass but also a fighter."

Thank God for Mia, she has kept me sane while we wait on news of my husband.

Finally we see Christian's surgeon come and I ask him to give us all the news.

"Mr. Grey is out of surgery and is in the ICU, but we are still waiting for him to wake up and he's not breathing on his own."

Mia squeezes my hand and I ask if I can see him.

I'm shown up to ICU and see Christian for the first time and I break down. He looks so fragile with all the tubes and wires not to mention the ventilator.

I kiss his forehead and I'm scared to touch him, afraid I might hurt him. A kind nurse comes in a few minutes later to check on Christian and reassures me that I won't hurt him and its good for me to talk to him.

"Christian, I love you so much. Please open your eyes, I need to know you're going to be all right."

I think I've fallen asleep as I wake up to someone squeezing my hand.

"Christian," My eyes fly open and I see my darling husband.

I hit the call button and there is a flurry of activity. I see Christian struggle against the ventilator and I just hold his hand while the doctor removes the tube.

**_Christian POV_**

"You're alive," I say and Tenley kisses my hand.

"It would appear so," she says and I am desperate for her lips on mine.

"And the baby, is he okay?"

"How do you know?"

"I saw the footage from Walgreens," I say and I start coughing so Tenley pours me a glass of water.

"We're both fine," she says and touches her stomach. "Dr. Greene did an ultrasound while you were in surgery and the baby is very healthy."

"I'm sorry for what happened," I say and I can feel the tears running down my face. "This was all my fault. I don't know what would have happened if she hurt you or our baby."

"Shh…you can't think like that. I'm just so happy that you are going to okay. You had me worried. I didn't know if you were going to make it."

I don't know if I should tell her about my dream or exactly what that was when I saw Anastasia and Blake. I don't know how she will react.

"Tenley there is something you should know," I say as she wipes the tears from my face.

I tell Tenley to sit down beside me on the bed as I take her hand.

"After I was shot when I 'woke up,' I thought I was dead. When I finally realized where I was I saw Ana. She gave me the option if I wanted to stay or go back. At first I didn't know what I wanted to do as I thought this was all a dream. But it was Ana who said that she thinks you're wonderful and that she was the one who sent you to me so I can move on. Then I saw Blake and he said that he loves you and that he sent me to you. It was then that I knew that I wanted to come back to you, Gracelyn and our baby."

I watch Tenley's reaction and she is crying.

"I don't know what I would have done without you, I love you so much," she says and carefully kisses my lips.

"There was a reason why were meant to be. Now we know how we were brought together."

It's been 12 hours since I've seen my daughter and finally I feel like I'm ready for her to see me. They have been able to remove most of the wires so I don't look so scary.

Mia walks hand in hand with Gracelyn who looks very scared when she sees me in the hospital bed.

"Daddy, Auntie Mia said you were in accident," she says as she climbs up on my bed very carefully. "How are you feeling?"

"I missed you princess, but I'm doing so much better now that I get to see your beautiful face," I say pulling her closer to me.

"You're not going to die like mommy are you?"

I'm taken aback by her comment. I never thought about it like that. I see the worry on her face and I know that I have to let her know that I'm going to be fine.

"I'm not going anywhere."

With Gracelyn in my arms the only thing missing is Tenley. I sent her home to sleep in her bed and not on the couch in my room.

"Gracelyn, there is something that Tenley want to tell you," I say as I pull Tenley closer to us so that all three of us are sitting on the bed. "You're going to be a big sister."

"You're going to have a baby," she says and her face just lights up and then I see the tears start to fall.

"Why are you crying?" Tenley says wrapping her arms around Gracelyn.

"Because I am so happy."

**_Three months later_**

Today is the day that I can't believe is here. It has been five years since my beautiful Anastasia died. Gracelyn has been asking how we can celebrate mommy and I let her decide. She asked to buy her mom's favorite flowers and with the help from Tenley they wrote her a letter that she didn't want me to see. I don't know why but Tenley says its something a girl needs to say to her mother.

We arrive at the cemetery and Gracelyn asks if I can go with her. She takes my hand and Tenely says she going to wait in the car. I know Tenley wasn't sure if she should come today but Gracelyn insisted. Ever since we found out that we were having a little girl a few days ago, my daughter has been very protective of her baby sister that will enter this world in a few months.

"Daddy, I want to talk to mommy by myself so please can you wait over there so you can't hear me," she says letting go of my hand.

"Sure baby, I will be just over there."

I walk about a100 feet away and lean on a tree and just watch my daughter place the flowers on her mother's head stone along with the letter. She then sits down and it looks like she is talking to her. I feel the tears streaming down my face.

**_Gracelyn POV_**

"Hi Mommy. Yesterday was my birthday and I'm six now, I hope that you got to see my party. We had lots of fun and when I blew out my candles do you know what I wished for? It was to see you again. I watched your video and that's the best birthday present ever, but don't let daddy know. You know that I'm going to be a big sister and dad and Tenley are going to help me name her, isn't that cool? Tenley and I talked this morning and if it's okay with her, I'm going to call her mom and keep calling you mommy. I hope you are okay with that. Tenley wanted to make sure that you know that she could never be my real mommy because that's your job. She said that the best thing about me being your little girl is that I'm the only person who ever got to hear your heart beat from the inside and that's what makes us special. I think that's pretty cool, don't you? Well, I know daddy wants to talk to you so I better go. I just wanted to let you know that I love you and you will always be my mommy."

I walk over to my daddy who looks like he's been crying but he doesn't look sad.

"Daddy, what's wrong?"

"You remind me so much of your mother."

"I miss her too."

**_Christian POV_**

My hands are shaking when I step up to Ana's grave.

"Hello Anastasia," I say and place my flowers next to my daughters.

"It's hard to believe that you have been gone for five years. I miss you each and every day. I wish that you were with me right now. You would be so amazed about our daughter. She is the most incredible thing and she is my life. You would be so proud of her but I know you are looking down on her all the time. Do you know that she reminds me so much of you and it's give me the strength to live my life and its all because of you.

_**THE END**_

* * *

_**Thank you to everyone who took this journey with me! Also, thank you to Sue and Ashley for being the best BETAs. I appreciate everything you did!**_


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